Lay off worries…again.

It’s out of my hands.

Then again, why do I have this gut feeling on D-day, that I am going to get a pink slip. Is the pink slip really pink? And what shade of pink is it? I hope it isn’t annoying shade of pink that would make the day worse. And what does the pink slip say? Does it say something like: “Thank you for your services, but your employment will no longer be needed.” or is it more blunt and rude and say: “Get the fuck out of here because the more you sit at your desk, the more money we have to pay – and we can’t afford that kind of shit.”

And I am totally serious about voicing my job situation to the whole entire world. I met with my friend Arnold and his girlfriend, Marivic and when I saw him, the first thing I said was “Hi. I’m going to get laid off.”

It’s all I can think about. That and Girl Scout Cookies.

I try to view this situation from both sides. I don’t think I’d get laid off because

1.) I provide a young, fresh voice.
2.) My blog is successful and have helped create a new style web page.
3.) My voice is distinct and I have garnered a cult readership (I think)
4.) I work for cheap.

I do think I’d get laid off because:

1.) I am young – this can work against me. A lot of my more experienced (meaning older) co-workers have been telling me, “You’ll be able to find another job really fast because you are young!” Really? It took me years to find a job like this.
2.) Someone else that works there, can cover the fashion beat with ease. Yes, there is someone else working there right now who can take over my spot, but said person can’t imitate my style.

Okay – I have to pause for a bit because I am watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith as I type this and DAMN! Brad and Angelina are hot in this movie. Whether you’re gay, straight, human, animal – you would want to be involved in a threesome with these sex kittens- at least in this movie.

So where was I – oh right – I was talking about getting laid off.

The forth reason why I would get laid off is that I don’t produce enough print content. Besides my column, I don’t do enough features. But in my defense, that’s not my fault. I am busy half the week creating calendars that will end up in the paper but then eventually become protective wrapping for fragile items and/or litter box lining. When I’m not doing that, I am having multiple writing orgasms on my blog, posting like a belligerent fashion and pop culture fiend every moment I can.

With balanced reasons, I don’t know which way the scales will tip. Either way, I will find out by the end of this week and all of this madness will be over and I could concentrate on more important things. Like getting aroused by the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Damn that’s hot.

And by the way. Can someone tell me why my blog stats on Dressed went down by nearly 140,000 readers? Damn. Talk about a killjoy.