The best thing about this season’s American Idol

I try to avoid watching American Idol each season, but I end up watching it like the reality show whore I am.

But this season is extra special. Because there is a crazy-ass stage dad on the show – thanks to David Archuleta.

I love stage parents. They are the most freakishly annoying fuckers out there. They push and push and push their kids to the brink of insanity. It is so beautiful! Stage parents are as intriguing as those dowdy ladies in that polygamist sect.

But David’s case is even better because it’s a father, Jeff, causing all the unnecessary ruckus. Usually, I see big haired crazy-eyed women with big blond hair taking the role of dranged stage parent.

Apparently, he’s been picking all of David’s songs, sparring with the producers, causing problems with other contestants and he even attempted to change the words to “Stand by Me” when David performed it! That is some wild ass shit right there!

His performance of “With You” last night was really awkward – maybe he needed his dad’s help with that one.

His dancing makes me feel odd.

That said, if all the rumors about his dad is true, how much of David is David and how much is his father?

Bottom line, stage parents are just trying to program their kids to live out a dream that they never achieved when they were younger.

I am so going to be a stage dad, pushing my son/daughter to be a gold-medal rhythmic gymnast Olympian and a clogging superstar.

And is it me or does David Archuleta look like a hybrid of an mongoloid Ewok, a Popple and Build-a-Bear that has been brought to life.