The Academy Awards according to Dino-Ray

So it’s midnight in the lovely Bay Area and my room looks as if I am squatting in it because it’s completely bare. It’s like I am Ricky in that Christmas episode of My So-Called Life where he is living in that abandoned warehouse – except less dramatic and there isn’t a singing angel involved.

It is completely bare because I am moving, but all that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that the Academy Awards are less than 24 hours away and I am here to give you the winners of Hollywood’s biggest night. Well, I am here to give you the winners according to me. Because we all know that my opinion is way more important than those Academy people. I am just going to give you the winners of the main categories because no one is really glued to the TV screen to see who gets the award for “Best Editing.”

Oh yeah, and if you are really interested in that red carpet stuff, you can catch me blogging live about it on my Examiner.com site. And believe me, I will not be holding back on these Hollywood peeps!

Nonetheless, here are the Academy Award winners according to me:

Performance by an actor in a leading role

* Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor” (Overture Films)
* Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon” (Universal)
* Sean Penn in “Milk” (Focus Features)
* Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
* Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

And the winner is… Mickey Rourke. This one was a toughie for me. Pitt’s performance was great, but his tough competition automatically counts him out. Jenkins, is a great actor, but the there doesn’t seem to be enough buzz for him to snag the gold. Langella was extraordinary in “Frost/Nixon” and I felt that Sean Penn inhabited the skin of Harvey Milk in “Milk” but Rourke’s venerable performance was so raw and wounded that I could not get out of his orbit. His chemistry with Evan Rachel Wood (who plays his estranged daughter) were the scenes that won me over. And the fact that he just looked so busted and bruised with shattered ambition makes you shed tears of gold.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

* Josh Brolin in “Milk” (Focus Features)
* Robert Downey Jr. in “Tropic Thunder” (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
* Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.)
* Michael Shannon in “Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)

And the winner is…Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight.” Brolin was the perfect creep, Downey was hilarious, Hoffman was Hoffman and Shannon came out of no where to stir things up in “Revolutionary Road,” but let’s face it, Heath was phenomenal. I’ll disregard all the “sympathy vote” talk surrounding his performance, because whether he is dead or alive, Ledger’s performance was remarkable. He scared the shit out of me.

Performance by an actress in a leading role

* Anne Hathaway in “Rachel Getting Married” (Sony Pictures Classics)
* Angelina Jolie in “Changeling” (Universal)
* Melissa Leo in “Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics)
* Meryl Streep in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Kate Winslet in “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company)

And the winner is…Kate Winslet. I have a theory about Academy Awards. They purposely don’t award Oscars to certain actors because they know that they will put out bigger and better performances in the future. In turn, actors get the hint and up their game to get even more nominations. It’s almost like being teased. Winslet is one of those actors. Jolie already has her Oscar and so does Streep (she has two actually). Leo…well I can’t say anything about her because I haven’t seen her movie yet. As for Hathaway – as much as I LOVED her as a recovering, volatile junkie – it’s just not her time yet. Winslet, on the other hand, won two Golden Globes already. Her performances in “The Reader” and “Revolutionary Road” were the two best performances that stuck with me this year. Not being nominated for the latter is the Academy’s way of saying, “Don’t worry, you’re in!”

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
* Amy Adams in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Penélope Cruz in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” (The Weinstein Company)
* Viola Davis in “Doubt” (Miramax)
* Taraji P. Henson in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
* Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

And the winner is…Viola Davis. Anyone who can spend 12 minutes on the screen and make such an impact on a movie must be doing something right. She totally changed the game with her performance in “Doubt.” I love her co-star and fellow nominee, Amy Adams, but her character didn’t stick with me after sitting through that movie that I would’ve rather seen on stage. I don’t really see why people are cheering for Cruz. I mean, her performance was great in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” but I guess I have to see it again to see if I missed something. As for Henson and Tomei; Henson was lovable and endearing, but she’s surrounded by some stiff competition. Tomei already got her Oscar and I was feelin’ Evan Rachel Wood’s character more than hers in “The Wrestler.” My vote definitely goes to Davis.

And the winner is…Ron Howard Fincher’s creativity is stellar, Van Sant’s storytelling is pitch-perfect, Daldry knows how to keep us intrigued and Boyle wowed us with his “Slumdog;” but out of all the nominees, Howard’s vision of this historic event grips me the most. There was something so refined and consuming about this film that made it shine the brightest among an elite pack of directors.

Adapted screenplay

*”The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Screenplay by Eric Roth
Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
* “Doubt” (Miramax) Written by John Patrick Shanley
* “Frost/Nixon” (Universal) Screenplay by Peter Morgan
* “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company) Screenplay by David Hare
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

And the winner is…Eric Roth and Robin Swicord. Anyone that can turn F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short story into a three-hour epic journey of love and life and hold my attention for that long definitely deserves a little gold.

Original screenplay

* “Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics) Written by Courtney Hunt
* “Happy-Go-Lucky” (Miramax) Written by Mike Leigh
* “In Bruges” (Focus Features) Written by Martin McDonagh
* “Milk” (Focus Features) Written by Dustin Lance Black
* “WALL-E” (Walt Disney) Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon
Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

And the winner is…Dustin Lance Black. Honestly, I haven’t seen “Frozen River,” “Happy-Go-Lucky” or “In Bruges” – so this is a competition between “WALL-E” and “Milk” for me. I don’t think the world is ready for a screenplay for an animated movie to win an Oscar, so I gave it to “Milk.” I have actually heard rave reviews for “Happy-Go-Lucky,” so I wouldn’t discount that. I am just not giving this to Black just because of my “process of elimination” method. His writing based on real-life events was brilliant, steady and totally Oscar-worthy.

Best motion picture of the year

* “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.) A Kennedy/Marshall Production Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
* “Frost/Nixon” (Universal) A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment and Working Title Production Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers
* “Milk” (Focus Features) A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers
* “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company) A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production Nominees to be determined
* “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight) A Celador Films Production Christian Colson, Producer

And the winner is…“Slumdog Millionaire.” This was another difficult choice. If I had it my way, I’d make it a tie between “Slumdog” and “Milk,” but based on the reception of this beautiful and exceptional film about a boy on a “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” show, I am leaning towards it. “The Reader,” “Frost/Nixon” and “Benjamin Button” had elements that were all Oscar-worthy, but they weren’t as all-around encompassing like “Slumdog Millionaire.”

Hmmmm… guess we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to see if I am right!