Random Rant: Emo douchebag philosophy

I don’t use social media outlets as a means to get all emo about my life or get all convoluted about the meaning of life. When I other people do this, I feel gross. I feel like vomiting. Most of the time, people use other people’s quotes (like bible verses, authors and other “brilliant minds”) to get the point across; to illustrate their feelings.

Lame.

For the most part, it makes them look pseudo-intellectual and just plain annoying. What’s worse is when people leave Aristotle quotes in the signature of their emails or when they put lengthy, annoying and convoluted words of wisdom in their Facebook status messages. THEN people buy into it. They comment on their status, encouraging them; making them feel like they are a philosopher. They leave comments like, “I couldn’t have said it better myself” or “Man, you are so deep!” And don’t even get me started on this whole FML bullcorn. That’s a whole other rant.

At times, I want to comment, “Shut the hell up and stop being such a douche,” but, being the gentleman I am, I don’t. Instead, I just roll my eyes and delete them from my friends list because we all know that is the penultimate way to hate on someone.

I think most of this has to do with the fact that I am writing snob. If you’re feeling a certain way, don’t make it all contrived with quotes and fortune cookie philosophies.

The bottom line is: Just say it. If you’re pissed off then say, “I am pissed off!” If you’re depressed say, “I want to slit my wrists.” OR you can get creative with it. If you’re mad at someone – make certain that the offending party knows you’re mad. Say something like, “I hope that your wiener falls off and you catch dysentery.” OR if you’re going through some tough emotional times, forego the greeting card sentiment and say something like, “I want to eat a whole gallon of ice cream, wear pants with an elastic waistband and listen to Journey songs for the rest of my life.” If that’s not a cry for help, I don’t know what is.

Keep it real. Don’t give me regurgitated malarkey at your own self-deprecated expense.

This is the word of Dino-Ray.