The day that The Twilight Saga: New Moon came out in theaters is going to be known as the day that the loudest, collective tween squeal was heard around the world.
In the second installment of the lovelorn book-to-movie vampire franchise, Bella (Kristen Stewart) is faced with a loss and a gain. Her vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) breaks up with her in the woods and leaves her to sob in her angsty self-pity because of a near-death incident at her birthday party, while Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is the BFF beefcake russet-colored shoulder for her to cry on.
In turn, the love triangle is officially cemented and it introduces werewolves, acts of self-masochistic desperation, a trip to Italy, evil vampire royalty and even more romance that made me roll my eyes and giggle with delight.
In the beginning of the movie, Bella turns 18 years old, which makes her think, “OMG. I am going to get really old and eventually wear orthopedic shoes while my boyfriend is going to remain hot like a Euro indie band member.” We all know where this is leading. She wants to become a vampire. This is basically a set up for the third film, Eclipse.
Jacob (looking like a member of a God-awful ’80s hair band – he looks much better with short hair) gives Bella a birthday gift. A dream catcher. This gift is the perfect way to describe this highly anticipated movie. It’s a mystic piece of iconic art that holds meaning to a culture. It has a purpose and is very beautiful at first sight. However, the more you look at it, the more it becomes a kitschy novelty gift found next to tacky turquoise jewelry at a gas station somewhere in the middle of Arizona.
That said, the movie is a cinematic dream catcher: corny, yet endearing.
New Moon wasn’t my favorite book of the series. It was one long-winded syrupy set-up to the more adventurous and dangerous third part. However, director Chris Weitz and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg turned Stephenie Meyer’s novel into something semi-tolerable – even if it did have an enormous amount of romantic gag-worthy one-liners and gratuitous shots of shirtless guys.
The movie is what Twilight should have been. It is more thoughtful, less cliche and had less of a saccharine-infused soul. Most of all, it has a bigger budget (take note of the yellow Porshe in the Italy scenes). The cinematic style makes up for its occasional lack of substance. The warm, sepia-toned palette contrasts with the first film’s cold and icy hues. It made me look past those Edward “the friendly ghost” hallucinations and Jacob’s “you don’t want to see me angry” tough guy swagger. Lautner’s boyishly button-nosed face did not quite match up with his attempt to be a wolf boy who steals catchphrases from big green short-tempered Marvel superheroes.
Stewart as the stale and sorrowful Bella wasn’t exactly the greatest thing in the movie – and she’s in a lot of it. Bella is such a Debbie Downer. Her mouth has the inability to crack a smile and it seems like her emotional switch is constantly set on depressed. On the other hand, if Bella is supposed to be a girl who sounds constipated all the time and has exhausting co-dependency issues, then Stewart did a bang up job.
As more bare torsos and emotional constipation flashed on the screen, familiar feelings from the book started to float to the top. The three main characters got whiny, needy, ridiculous and most of all, irritating. But they are teenagers – what do you expect? This is exactly why it will be a hit with this generation. It shows that teenage love is the same no matter what your supernatural species.
The introduction of the wolf pack (played by the bohunk, skin-baring quartet of Tyson Houseman, Kiowa Gordon, Alex Meraz, and Chaske Spencer) livened up the screen for a refreshing break from the soap opera. Towards the end, the Volturi, the malicious arbitrators of vampire law, came on the screen and reinvigorated my interest. With Michael Sheen as the ominously snide Aro and Dakota Fanning as the petite and creepy Jane, there was no choice but to pay attention. Plus, there is a certain joy one gets when evil people try to ruin other people’s happiness. I think I do that everyday.
New Moon made up for what Twilight didn’t accomplish. In other words, it was better. Between the movie and the book, the movie is the lesser of the two evils. Once you tell yourself that this is geared more towards teens and less towards overthinking, impatient adults, then the movie will be worth your 131 minutes. Grade: B
For more of my ‘New Moon’ coverage click here
- Excited
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Bored
- Sad
- Angry
