When I heard Bi-Rite Creamery (notorious for their hellaciously long lines) expanded their space and was starting to serve salted caramel soft serve, I knew I had to go. I also heard that they were starting to sell some baked goods – including cupcakes.
It’s a win-win situation.
During the final hours of my birthday on Sunday, I ate some noodles at Tanpopo in Japantown (for long life, of course) and then at 9:30 p.m. my friends and I RUSHED over to the Mission so that we can beat Bi-Rite’s closing time of 10 p.m.
Thank God we made it there on time.
I immediately got a bowl of the creaminess that is their salted caramel soft serve. As soon as I started shoveling it into my mouth, I can hear my body expanding. It was so buttery, smooth and it was as though my taste buds were climaxing. I think I ate the whole bowl in 5 minutes.
Afterwards, the heavenly treat left a glossy sheen on my lips. It was like I used a stick of butter as Chapstick. I licked my lips and could literally taste the gorgeous obesity. It was like I was eating The Stuff (see the video below for reference).
To top it off, I bought a salted caramel cupcake to go. As soon as I got home, I bit into it and a delightful caramel artery-clogging concoction oozed out and I started inhaling it like it was cocaine.
I never felt so ashamed and satisfied.
Happy Birthday to me.
- Excited
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Bored
- Sad
- Angry
