We Need Another ‘Back-Up Plan’

J. Lo and S. Lo in the Back-Up Plan

The movie: The Back-Up Plan

Directed by: Alan Poul

Written by: Kate Angelo

Hot, famous people you will recognize: Jennifer Lopez

Hot, famous people you probably won’t recognize (but will probably see more in the future – mainly in the “reimagining” of Hawaii Five-O) : Alex O’Loughlin

The story: Zoe (Lopez) is a single gal and feels her biological clock ticking so she gets artificially inseminated because she hasn’t found the right man to do it the traditional way. In a flirty battle over a cab (the movie takes place in the cliche metropolis of — surprise — Manhattan) she meets Stan (O’Loughlin), a hunky cheese farmer and they fall for each other in a the setting of a semi-formulaic romantic comedy.

The review: There may be many women who have been artificially inseminated who, shortly after, find the love of their life. And there may be many men who have fallen for a woman who has been artificially inseminated that eventually accepts the fact that his love is so strong that he will be willing to father children that he did not make. As for the rest of us, we can just enjoy the little dog in the wheeled walking contraption.

As a “comeback” movie for Lopez, it has humor; some of it gross, some of it unfunny, but all of it is as refreshing as a glass of flat pink champagne. O’Loughlin is charming and makes for good eye candy and Lopez revives her role as a rom-com staple. They are a really pretty pair to look at, but that doesn’t make up for the lack of connection they share with the audience. There is romance, but the comedy is spelled with a lowercase “C”. A very lowercase “c.” I am also sure that I can make some sort of witty analogy with “cheese” and “artificial insemination,” but I can’t think of one right now — I’ll get back to you when one comes to mind.

I’ve entered many romantic comedies with a cynical mindset. I walk out of the theater still feeling cynical, but have a smile on my face. With the The Back-Up Plan, I was more than prepared to leave as soon as I saw Lopez hoisted on that gyno table, feet in the air with a Carrie Bradshaw-esque voice-over that was as interesting as a voice-over for a puberty movie you watch during 6th grade gym class.

The film does what every romantic comedy does: it gives single people hope of finding that special someone. The film wasn’t that special. It was unspecial – but it shows that you can still find love even if you are single and artificially inseminated. Grade: D+