Guess What?! ‘The Losers’ Has Lots of Explosions!

Saldana (from left), Evans, Morgan, Short, Elba and Jaenada march into battle in ‘The Losers’

The movie: The Losers

Directed by: Sylvain White

Written by: Peter Berg and James Vanderbilt

Comic book origin: The Losers was a comic book series created by Andy Diggie and was loosely based on a DC Comics series by the same name set in World War II.

The good guys (a.k.a. “The Losers”): Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Clay), Chris Evans (Jensen), Idris Elba (Roque), Columbus Short (Pooch), Oscar Jaenada (Cougar)

The bad guy: Jason Patric

Token hot girl: Zoe Saldana

The story: At the hands of a guy named Max (Patric), a CIA special forces team gets screwed after they are abandoned in a Bolivian jungle and assumed dead. When they get the chance to screw him over, they jump on it – with the help of the no-nonsense, ponytailed Aisha (Saldana).

The review: Things blow up. People get punched. People get shot. Helicopters fly. Cars crash. Things blow up. Fill in the gaps with wisecracks, word bubble dialogue and sexy slow motion scenes and you got The Losers.

It’s not as bad and repetitive as it sounds.

As the first serving in what is to be many mercenary/vigilante-type ensemble movies of the summer (The A-Team, The Expendables), the good guys in the movie are portrayed by a group of actors who aren’t Hollywood posterboys – and I’m not saying that in a degrading way. We’ve seen Morgan in Watchmen, Elba in Obsessed, Evans in Fantastic Four, Short in Death at a Funeral and Jaenada in a bunch of movies I’ve never seen (but he can easily pass for a Spanish Justin Long). If the leads were a bunch of Efrons, Pitts, Smiths, and Gyllenhaals, then the movie would be a derivative festival of “boom-boom-pow!” Instead, we get fresh faces that are tolerable and Evans can continue to use his education from “Wise-ass One-liner Charm School” – which was very helpful in Fantastic Four.

Zoe Saldana carries the film as the lone female in the role of a sexy diva who can kick ass with an eyebrow ring. She’s kind of like her Avatar character, but not blue. Plus, guys won’t feel that uncomfortable fantasizing about her as Aisha. Nonetheless, as the only female in the crew, she holds her own – and handles a rocket launcher so gracefully. It’s like it’s an extension of her body.

If anything, Jason Patric cuts through the chaotic fire bombs with his scathing tongue and politically incorrect panache. As the “I’m going to take over the world” super-prick Max, he brings a whole new meaning to brilliant douchery.

The gratuitous explosions and comic book verve totally make up for the pedestrian “kill the bad guy who screwed us over” storyline. It’s gritty, it is stained with rebellion and is rough like a bunch of kids playing cowboys and indians in the backyard. Sure, there are weapons of mass absurdity in the movie (i.e. an oversized egg timer that can swallow an island) but that’s just part of the fun. With the gun-wielding redemption and “who’s the real bad guy/girl?” guessing game, there’s enough here to satisfy an appetite for an action movie. Grade: B