The 10 Best Things about ‘Eclipse’

It’s 9 p.m. June 29th. It’s a Tuesday night. I just came out of a screening for The Last Airbender and as soon as I walked to Mission and 4th street, I saw a huge line snaking around the Metreon. It was almost one entire block of people waiting for the midnight screening of Eclipse, the 3rd installment of The Twilight Saga which sprung from the mind of author Stephenie Meyer.

Thank God I was lucky enough to see it beforehand (yes, I am gloating). I thank God even more that I didn’t have to go through the Twi-hard fueled opening night of tweens who actually think these characters are real – but that’s part of the appeal about this Twilight pandemonium, right? It’s all about the fans. The franchise is 75 percent fandom, 25 percent substance.

I try to claim that I have to watch these movies because it is my civic duty as a pop culture journalist. But I didn’t have to read all four books. I didn’t have to get the special edition DVDs as soon as they came out. I didn’t have to interview Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz when they were in San Francisco. I didn’t have to have an exclusive one-on-one interview with Robert Pattinson when he came to the city to promote the first movie. I didn’t have to watch New Moon whilst writing this blog post.

Yes, I am a fan. I refuse to be called a Twi-hard. That just sounds dirty – just like the term “imprinting.”

Nonetheless, Eclipse picks up where New Moon left off (obviously). The evil crimson-haired Victoria (now played by a girl that looks like Ron Howard’s daughter) is still hunting for Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) blood. But this time, she brought some friends. She created a new vampire named Riley (Xavier Samuel) and he is instructed to create an army of newborn vampires (the most dangerous kind) in order to search for our awkward heroine and destroy her. This prompts the wolves and vampires of Forks to band together and protect the oh-so-important Bella. All the while, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) copes with his shirt deficiency and Edward (Robert Pattinson) tries 101 different ways to give us brooding looks. And both are constantly comparing the girth of their love for Bella.

The book was probably the best in the series – and the movie is just as good. Why was it so good? I am glad you asked:

1.) New director, more extreme close-ups: New director David Slade (Hard Candy, 30 Days of Night) totally “lifted” this movie and gave it a cooler point-of-view. He kept with the tone of the movie, but made it – how should I put it – more entertaining. The ratio of cheesy romance scenes to vampire-shattering action scenes was much appreciated. And the numerous close-ups were very intrusive and oddly enjoyable.

2.) Vampires with more interesting storylines: We finally get to see why Rosalie (Nikki Reed) is such a scathing bitch towards Bella. Her backstory is probably the most emotional and speaks volumes for her character – and it actually gives her character. We also get to see what makes Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) tick as well. It’s so nice to not make it all about Edward and Bella.

3.) Learning the dangers of codependency: Bella and Edward probably have the most codependent relationship in cinematic history. This could be a problem further down the road – especially if they are going to be together forever. It’s a good instructional on how NOT to be when in a relationship.

4.) New characters, new accents: We get introduced to new wolves (Seth! Leah!) and of course the new baddie Riley. But more importantly, the Cullen patriarch, Carlisle (Peter Facinelli a.k.a. Mike Dexter) suddenly develops some sort of a British accent. And Jasper develops a very Dixieland deep-fried Southern accent that gets heavier and heavier throughout the movie. I developed a Scottish accent while watching the movie.

5.) The much anticipated tent scene: Fans will know this pivotal scene from the book that included Jacob, Edward and Bella. And if the story went a different route, it could’ve totally been a Brokeback Mountain moment for our main characters.

6.) Jessica’s valedictorian speech: Bella’s self-absorbed human gal pal Jessica (Anna Kendrick) gave one of the best valedictorian speeches I’ve ever heard!

7.) The cheese grater engagement ring: Spoiler alert: Edward proposes to Bella. Actually, it’s not really a spoiler since it is shown in one of the trailers. And in the last movie, he says he wants to marry her – but whatever. When he busts out the ridiculously large ring, my friend sitting next to me asked, “Why is he giving her a mini cheese grater?”

8.) Taylor Lautner covers up: Spoiler alert: there are moments when Jacob is wearing a shirt. Three scenes, I think.

9.) More Volturi!!!: I like seeing Dakota Fanning as Jane, one of the evil royal vampires. I like it when she tortures people with her torturous power. I just like the entire Volturi clan because they wear cloaks and are fancy.

10.) The most entertaining character in the entire Twilight franchise: Charlie (Billy Burke), Bella’s dad. He’s cool.

…and here’s one more reason to grow on:

11.) Tolerating Bella: Bella is probably my least favorite character — maybe it’s because I can’t understand why everyone feels the need to protect her as if she is hoarding the last donut on the face of the Earth, but in this movie, she was semi-tolerable! There were no nightmare-induced constipated screams, delusional romantic overtures recited through clenched teeth or flaccid stares! Bravo!