My Own ‘Dinner For Schmucks’

Upon walking out of the screening of Dinner For Schmucks, I was asked what I thought. I answered, “It was stupid enough.”

That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this bromantic comedy with an Odd Couple twist. “It’s stupid enough.” It’s cut from the same cloth as Dumb and Dumber but with a little more heart and a little more clever evolution.

Loosely based on the French film, Le Diner de Cons we are introduced to Tim (Paul Rudd), a man who is climbing the corporate ladder and in order to skyrocket to the top rung, he has to impress his boss by attending a “dinner for idiots” which is basically a contest amongst his co-workers. Whoever has the best idiot wins. Enter Barry (Steve Carell), a not-so-bright IRS drone who likes to dress up dead rodents and put them in cute dioramas. After literally running into him in the street with his car, they become reluctant friends.

One unfortunate “oh no!” moment leads to another and proves that the presence of the vacant Barry is a vortex of clusterfucks. He makes Tim’s life a hellacious mess. Some of the unfortunate shenanigans are funny. Some are not so funny – but I will tell you one thing: it’s stupid enough. The addition of Zack Galifianakis, Jemaine Clement, and Lucy Punch make it comedic enough to wait until it comes out on DVD…or when it’s on HBO…or network TV. However, Tim’s love interest, Julie (the strikingly beautiful Stephanie Szostak) is good for some tasty eye candy.

The dinner in the movie wasn’t necessarily filled with “schmucks.” It was just a dinner with odd guests with various eccentricities that will make you giggle with WTF goodness. In any matter, this made me think of my own fantasy dinner party. The following people on my guest list aren’t schmucks (well, some of them are – I’ll leave that to your discretion), but they are a motley crew that would definitely make for an enjoyable, awkward, insane, possibly confrontational and entertaining dinner.

Follow the jump to read my list…

1.) Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: I try not to keep up with what’s going on with these people, but it’s so hard not to with all the media coverage they receive. Having this duo at my dinner table would just provide an element of essential media whoreage.

2.) Karl Lagerfeld: I have a firm belief that Karl is not human. He just fascinates me. I just want to have him at a dinner to see if he actually eats – or better yet – I want to see how he eats. Perhaps he drinks through his finger like Mork from Ork.

3.) Mary Murphy: The So You Think You Can Dance judge’s blood curdling squeal would serve as the perfect call to order/dinner bell.

4.) John Waters: Nothing seems to shock or annoy the cult filmmaker/Prince of Puke. I would have him there just to test his boiling point. If nothing annoys him, I would just love to hear his laugh the whole evening.

5.) That dude from P90X: Tony Horton, the over-encouraging instructor of the popular workout series would be a brilliant because he is just so damn annoying.

6.) Sarah Silverman: I would definitely sit the cute foul-mouthed comedienne next to Heidi, Spencer and P90X dude. Or would that just be too easy? Either way, someone who has insulting skills as good as Silverman is always a must for a dinner party.

7.) Paula Deen: The southern-fried Food TV cook is just so sweet – and we need a bit of sweetness thrown in there. Hopefully she would bring something deep-fried.

8.) R. Kelly: Why not? He could provide some really good dinner stories about raunchy water sport escapades– and possibly some bedtime-booty serenades. All would give Waters great ideas for his next film.

9.) Tilda Swinton: I think any androgynous Academy Award winner who wears Lanvin would enjoy a dinner with classy guest list like this.

10.) J.K. Rowling: She’s not working on any more Harry Potter books, so what else is she going to do?

11.) Any “Real Housewife” from Orange County, New Jersey, New York, Atlanta or DC: My top choice? Nene from the ATL.

12.) Clint Eastwood: There is always room for a Hollywood icon at my dinner table. I foresee him getting along well with Mary Murphy.

13.) Ricky Martin: He is more than welcome to dust off his leather pants and join us.

14.) Yao Ming: I needed to throw an Asian in there for good measure – and he’s really tall too.

I had many more people on my guest list (sorry Jersey Shore cast, Stephen King!), but I needed to edited it down because there’s just not enough room at my imaginary dinner table. Maybe next time! Nonetheless, this is a dinner party I would not want to miss!

Who would you want on your fantasy dinner party guest list?