Long and Barrymore in ‘Going the Distance’ Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures
When I say that Nanette Burstein’s romantic comedy, Going the Distance is a fictional take on long distance relationships – I mean exactly that: it’s fictional. I am not saying that they never work nor am I speaking from first-person experience; I am just saying that everyone I know who has attempted long distance relationships have failed. Some have been messy, others were clean breaks, but all have been wonderful and entertaining to observe because I wasn’t directly involved – just like this movie.
The movie romantically merges the cuteness of the Mac guy (Justin Long) and a Firestarter (Drew Barrymore). They meet in a New York bar while bonding over the greatness of the retro video game, Centipede. They fall head over heels in love with each other and then try to keep their love alive when she has to move to San Francisco and he has to stay in New York. Their bi-coastal romance stays afloat via texting, webcamming, clumsy phone sex trysts and traveling to visit each other on major holidays. Upchuck-worthy jabs of cheesy romance is padded with great comedic stylings from staple rom-com family/friends like Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Christina Applegate and Jim Gaffigan.
A tad bit formulaic and containing just the right amount of raunchy humor (not to mention Barrymore’s signature crooked-mouth endearment), the movie is sweet and tolerable. It gives hope that long distance relationships can work – but please keep in mind it is in a Hollywood setting so don’t get your hopes up (yes, I am that cynical).
Nonetheless, I have taken the freedom to create a list of movie couples and whether or not their love could withstand the obstacles of a long distance relationship.
Vivian and Edward from Pretty Woman: Both of them have very mobile careers which doesn’t make long distance an option. Hookers with hearts of gold and lucrative business always make the perfect combination.
Maria and Tony from West Side Story: Star crossed lovers with a death wish based on gang rivalry – it seems like it’s destined for failure. But with the power of dance and song, their love can withstand the distance. They should’ve just ran away together when they had a chance.
Bella and Edward from Twilight: Their unhealthy attachment to each other is not only nauseating, but it would also be the death of them in a long distance relationship scenario — even if he is a vampire.
Summer and Tom from (500) Days of Summer: Tom is too needy to have a long distance relationship. Summer would drop him within 15 minutes after he left — his leeching love would be too unbearable.
Follow the jump for the rest of the list…
Lelaina and Troy from Reality Bites: Surprisingly, I think these two would be able to last if separated. It would be dysfunctional, but it would be true love. Then again, what kind of love is functional?
Annie and Sam from Sleepless in Seattle: The plot of the movie answers the question.
Ennis and Jack from Brokeback Mountain: They lasted a good portion of the movie separated, so they are used to it. It’s a bromance for the history books. Plus, Jack said he doesn’t know how to quit Ennis.
Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman and Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing: I hate to say it, but I don’t think they would be able to endure. Johnny’s moves on the dance floor are way too cool for Baby alone. He needs to share them with sexier, less homely women of the world while Baby would stay – you guessed it – in the corner.
Carrie and Mr. Big from Sex and the City: Hell to the no.
Allie and Noah from The Notebook: The unbelievable level of mushy, vomit-worthy romance and unflinching love between these two is way too strong to break. Plus, they are both hot. Really hot. That kissing scene in rain makes me hot and bothered.
Frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings: They would never last. Frodo would have a nervous breakdown and Sam would whine to the point of spontaneous combustion. No anti-codependent spell on Middle Earth could save them.
