Potential Candidates to Replace John Galliano

Fashion has finally become interesting since the recent nasty fuck cluster of a mess that John Galliano made with his anti-semitic tirade. Since then he has gotten the ax from Dior and has been blasted by high wattage celebs like Natalie Portman.

There’s something so schadenfreude-ish about this whole ordeal.

Nonetheless, the fashion world is stirring with the question, “Who’s going to take his place?” So far, the names Riccardo Tisci of Givenchy, Haider Ackermann, and Lanvin‘s Alber Elbaz have been thrown around, but I have my own plans for Dior. I hereby throw the following names into the ring for the coveted spot once held by Galliano:

Todd Oldham: How could you NOT put him in contention after seeing the brilliant work he did when he was at Target — not to mention “Todd Time” on MTV’s “House of Style” in the ’90s.

Kanye West: Considering he was allegedly applied for enrollment to attend Central St. Martin’s for a Masters in fashion design and his failed “Pastel” collection, the obvious next step would be the head of a major fashion house, right? Plus, during other people’s fashion shows, he can jump up on the runway and interrupt the models walking and say, “I’m gonna let you finish showing your collection, but I just want to say that the House of Dereon had the best collection of the year…” (That joke will never get old.)

Johnny Weir: He’s a figure skater with lots of theatrics and his own reality show. I think those are decent qualifications.

Random Reality Show Winner: Since fashion has been totally “democratized” and since anyone can be a “fashion designer,” I wouldn’t be surprised if this route was taken — and it would be disgustingly entertaining.

Cecilia Cassini: Speaking of disgusting, this 11-year-old fashion spawn would be the best disaster. It would get Dior even more publicity and possibly even drag their name through the mud. Thus fulfilling my desire for schadenfreude.

Lindsay Lohan or a Kardashian sister: Actually, this would be even more disastrous. It would be absolutely, positively FANTASTIC to see this happen. I mean, Lindsay worked for Ungaro and the Kardashians have their own fashion line — that’s the only experience you need, right? RIGHT?!

Optimus Prime from Transformers: If Cecilia, Lindsay and the Kardashian mob can be fashion designers why shouldn’t a a make-believe alien robot from Cybertron get the chance to follow his dreams of running a couture house?