Community: I am Abed and Abed is me

I am a fan of Community. A huge fan — it’s almost to the point where I think that I actually attend Greendale college and I, like Chang, want to be part of their study group.

With the season premiere tonight, I have been doing some heavy prep work. Seasons 1 and 2 have been flowing through my veins like a steady IV drip of prime-time television magic. Ultimately, I have discovered a strong connection with Abed.

Played with endearingly stoic panache by Danny Pudi, Abed has the ability to connect real-life situations with TV and movies. I do that every day, but I never vocalize it. Perhaps I should start vocalizing it out loud more often. That way, people will think I am quirky rather than a weirdo who walks down the street mumbling pop culture references as I see them. For instance, today I went to Radio Shack in order to try and find a analog-to-digital converter cable. Someone asked me if I needed help and I said, “No, I’m fine”, but I really wanted to say, “I am looking for the appropriate materials to make a robot version of me — like in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey when Bill and Ted made robot versions of themselves to defeat De Nomolos’s evil robots.” There are even times when I make tapes of my most intimate and diary-like thoughts to my friend…like the kind Felicity makes to Sally.

But Abed is on a totally different level than I am. He is TOTALLY committed to the art of merging movies & TV with real life. The best example is in season 2′s episode titled “Critical Film Studies” when he reenacted his own version of My Dinner With Andre with Jeff. I really want to do something like that with my friends — but it won’t be something as intimate and thoughtful as My Dinner With Andre. It would probably be something lie Clue where we all end up killing people or a dinner like the Lost Boys had in Hook where there was “never food” or better yet, something fun like this:

I also imagine consistent voiceovers in my life (a la Sex and the City) and at least once a quarter, I create a clip show in my head. When I used to be an instructor who was unsure of himself, I thought of myself as Mike Seaver in Growing Pains when he gained the confidence to make a difference as a teacher. When I used to commute into the city, I would be wearing a suit and carrying my briefcase. Every time I stepped off the train I’d hum the Mad Men theme song acting like I was going to work at Sterling Cooper (before the merger). When my finacnes are low, I invite all my friends over to my house for dinner then blame someone for stealing my glitter pen. People start blaming each other. I lock the door and won’t let anyone leave until we find the culprit; thus creating my own bottle episode.

In addition to all that, not a day goes by when I don’t think about what the opening credits sequence would be like to my own imaginary one-hour dramedy. As of now, my opening credits will include The Police’s “King of Pain” set to one continuous shot of me walking through a CGI’d sequence of San Francisco’s most prominent urban landscapes melting into each other.

I, like Abed, enjoy translating TV and movies into real life. Plus, I can’t relate to anyone unless they at least know one TV show or movie that I watch. Otherwise, I am just socially retarded.

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