I have seen The Avengers and as stated in the tweet immediately after the film, “I assembled all over myself.”

Nonetheless, I am a geek for the comic books of the Marvel persuasion. I had a die hard loyalty to the characters of the X-universe, but my knowledge of The Avengers was present, but not as thorough. This is similar to my knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the coveted talisman of Joss Whedon, THE fan boy God and director of The Avengers.

I actually had little Buffy knowledge. OK…I had NONE. The most I knew was that it was based on a movie starring the girl from Flowers in the Attic and Luke Perry. And if you remember — I admitted my Buffy naivete to Drew Goddard when I talked to him about Cabin in the Woods. He was a writer on Buffy and when I told him I was JUST beginning to watch the show, he was taken aback, but was also excited that I was just starting to watch the show. He even said that he “envied” me because I was going to relive this remarkable series.

Fast forward to now and I have consumed ALL episodes of Buffy in a little over a month (is that a record? or does it just mean I have no life?). I feel like I have been baptized as a disciple of Whedon.

With all of that aforementioned babbling in mind, I took it upon myself to liken the characters of Buffy to the superheroes of The Avengers:

Giles is Nick Fury: This makes perfect sense because Giles, like Nick Fury, is somewhat of a mentor to all the Avengers. Both are badass when they need to be and use tough love on their mentees. The most defining similarity is that both rebel against their high authorities: Giles against the Watcher Council and Fury against the World Security Council.

Buffy is Captain America: The Captain is the leader of the bunch — as is Buffy with her Scoobies. Cappy has his trusty shield; Buffy has her trusty stake. Also, both were, in one way or another, dead and then brought back to life. They both have strong will, are very acrobatic and lastly, they are the prettiest of their crews.

Willow is The Hulk: Both have this Jekyll/Hyde thing going on. When calm, Willow and Bruce Banner are a little dorky, extremely smart, and awkward. But if you piss them off — the shit will hit the fan. Bruce goes green as the Hulk and violently smashes everything in sight. When Willow gets mad, her eyes go black and she just wants to end the world. The only difference is that the Hulk does not have same-sex tendencies — at least I don’t think so.

Xander is Iron Man: I was going to equate Xander with Nick Fury because of the eye patch — but that’s pretty much all they have in common. Iron Man seems like a good fit for Xander solely based on their abilities to utter quick-witted smart ass remarks.

Anya is Thor: Anya is an ex-vengeance demon from another dimension. Thor is a demigod from an different universe. Both are very blunt and lack the ability to appropriately filter their behavior in social situations which usually leads to some great laughs for us.

Faith is Black Widow: Both of these ladies have that whole sexualized femme fatale thing going on in that they can kick ome major booty. They have damaged mysterious pasts (or as BW says in the movie, “Red in their ledger”) which reflect in their ability to kick ass effectively. In my opinion, they are both “5 by 5!” (*groans*)

Spike is Loki: In the beginning of Buffy, Spike was pretty damn evil. As evil as Loki? Maybe not. But his early villainous ways match that of Thor’s bro. Like Spike, Loki is always plotting some sort of scheme and as much as everyone wants to kill him, they don’t. On another note, wouldn’t it be cool to see Loki as a blonde?

Angel is Hawkeye: Actually, the similarities between Angel and Hawkeye are minimal. These were the last couple of characters from both Whedon worlds — and I sure as hell did not want to include Dawn in the mix. Also, they both look good in sleeveless shirts.

The Avengers opens in theaters Friday May 4. GO WATCH IT.