If you may have noticed, I have been absent from posting to my fine blog as of late. I have a valid excuse: I was on a mini-vacation for my friend Steven’s Bachelor party in Montreal and we bought Ted from the movie Ted. As you can see from the picture above, the foul-mouthed adorably plushy hero from the forthcoming dirty comedy caused such a fun ruckus during the . We all had such a delightful and wholesome time…then this happened:

Everyone knows that vomit makes a party even MORE fun, right?!

OK. This didn’t really happen. Ted really didn’t come on vacation with me…and we didn’t get bottle service. Who still does that?!

In any case, you CAN make it look like you had a wild and raunchy night with Ted by following these simple rules:

1.) Visit www.TedisReal.com
2.) Click “My wild night with Ted”
3.) Click “Click here to party with Ted”
4.) Upload a photo from Facebook or from your computer
5.) Share the debauchery on your Facebook wall.

Ted opens in theaters Friday, June 29.