• Helena Bonham Carter is starring in another movie adaptation of Great Expectations and she goes full Havisham up in that bitch. [Hit Fix]
  • After realizing it was scientifically impossible to fuse these two women together, Zoe Saldana replaces Mary J. Blige in forthcoming Nina Simone biopic. [THR]
  • Woody Allen, Cate Blanchett, and his crew film on the streets of San Francisco. I guess I should go out there and “accidentally” walk into the background of one of the scenes. [Mission Mission]
  • Ryan Gosling has his own coloring book. The obvious next step is a blow up doll of him, right? [Vulture]
  • You know all that hoopla about Rashida Jones allegedly telling John Travolta to come out of the closet? I know they guy who wrote the original article! [Spinning Platters]
  • When I first saw Ron Howard in Happy Days, I just knew that one day he would direct a Jay-Z documentary. [Screen Junkies]
  • It’s been about 23 years since Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and 21 years since Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey — which means it’s time for a third one! And Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are attached to star it! So I guess Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott can expect to make a follow-up to Dude Where’s My Car in 2023. [IFC]
  • Jodie Foster defends her Panic Room daughter, Kristen Stewart against all the criticism she is getting for cheating on Robert Pattinson. Since Jodie cares, I guess we have to care about this now, right? [Gawker]
  • And when Jodie isn’t defending Kristen, she’s working on her female mobsters show! [Screen Rant]
  • Abby Elliott is leaving SNL?! I guess that means no more “Bein’ Quirky with Zooey Deschanel”. :( [Splitsider]
  • John Slattery in Arrested Development?! That is some crazy-ass shit right there. And I am a fan of crazy-ass shit. [TV Line]
  • Comedy Central roasts Roseanne and there are a lot of fat jokes that you can probably recycle and use on your enemies or exes. [Uproxx]
  • George Boedecker, creator of Crocs, gets a DUI and tells the officer that Taylor Swift is his girlfriend. There’s just all sorts of stuff wrong with that sentence. Mainly the fact that Crocs were created in the first place. [HuffPo]
  • Out of everything that happened at the Olympics, it’s McKayla Maroney‘s sass-bitch-silver-medal face that is the real winner. [Funny or Die]