It’s well after midnight. I picked up some mediocre pizza for dinner and I am watching a rerun of Saturday Night Live. I am also reminiscing how I spotted Jada Pinkett Smith with a big ass hat and a silver jumpsuit and her daughter Willow at a Canadian bookstore called Chapters. I also spotted Snoop Dogg or Snoop Lion or whatever his name is. And most importantly, I ate a cookie, Rice Krispie Treat AND a donut today. All that said, I would say that it was a successful day.
Oh yeah. I also sat through five movies today. My butt is pretty numb (not in THAT way you naughty freaks). Here’s a run down of what peeped today:
The Place Beyond the Pines: Contrary to what I thought, this movie is nothing like Drive. However, we do get to see a shirtless Ryan Gosling with a neck AND teardrop tattoo. He also furiously rides a motorbike and looks like a Zack Morris doppelganger in tattered clothing. And just when you think the movie is over, it takes a drastic and interesting turn that gives you a lot to digest whether you like it or not. Pines is a very thick and layered movie that also stars Eva Mendes, Bradley Cooper, Rose Byrne, Ray Liotta, and Dane DeHaan (he’s that dude from Chronicle and most recently in Lawless). Sadly, there is no cameo from the Pine Sol lady.
Frances Ha: Noah Baumbach directs this movie which plays out like a spin-off movie of Girls but instead of Lena Dunham, queen of hipster/mumblecore cinema Greta Gerwig plays the focus of this movie where a bunch of late twenty-somethings are living in New York and doing things that late twenty-somethings do. Yup. It’s one of those movies. You just have to let your disdain for these archetypes peak and then you will enjoy the film.
How to Make Money Selling Drugs: The title pretty much says all you need to know about this documentary. No. Really it does. It will also give you a totally different perspective about America’s “war on drugs”.
Cloud Atlas: Oh lord. This is a three hour epic that is basically a bunch of
random scenes that supposedly “connect” to each other. All the while, the actors do some serious Nutty Professor-worthy acting. It’s a world where Asians can be White, Blacks can be White, Whites can be Asians, Asians can be Mexican, Women can be Men, Men can be Women, Women can be Asian Men — but a White person CANNOT be Black. That would just be racist.
Aftershock: Hostel auteur Eli Roth teamed up with Guillermo Amoedo and Nicolas Lopez for this earthquake/tsunami movie that could possibly reintroduce the world to how a modern natural disaster movie should look like. Directed by Lopez, the movie is full of cringe-worthy scenes of bloody accidents and dismemberment — but it’s less about HOW people die and more about whether or not a group of friends could escape all the dangers of post-earthquake Chile. It is a great, delicious bag of the occasional LOL and a bunch of WTFs and FMLs.
On the schedule for tomorrow: Silver Linings Playbook, Imogene, Hyde Park on Hudson, Thanks for Sharing, Yellow, and possibly a halibut burrito from a place called the Burrito Boyz.