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Oh that Chris Brown! That crazy kid is always up to something! He’s continuing his campaign for the ‘Most Hellacious Human Being of the 21st Century’ — and he’s winning! The other day, the classy Chris Brown allegedly instigated a physical spat with Frank Ocean about a parking spot. That’s all that needs to happen for me to patrol the tweets that flood my timeline, which are far more important than the story itself.


Tweets About Chris Brown Being Chris Brown

Storified by Dino-Ray Ramos· Mon, Jan 28 2013 20:24:01

Chris Brown vs Frank Ocean wouldn’t even be a good Celebrity Death Match.Jensen Karp
BREAKING: Chris Brown challenges RuPaul to drag race.Warren Holstein
I think it’s great that men are finally being allowed into combat with Chris Brown.Bryan Donaldson
.@BarackObama can you do something about Chris Brown?Rob Hoffman
If I were Chris Brown’s PR person, my first advice would be, "Maybe stop punching people."Michael Ian Black
"This could be bad. I should probably just walk away and take the high road." – Chris Brown, not onceSteven Amiri
Chris Brown is blocking my parking spot. Okay, I guess I can walk to the Grove.Fred Stoller
Think about all the awful shit that Chris Brown has done that the media missed.Nick
Chris Brown seems like the kind of guy who’s always declaring himself "drama free."Josh Gondelman
Chris Brown should definitely get on cocaine so, at least, he has some excuse for this behavior.Robert Yasumura
Chris Brown singing Michael Jackson’s "BEAT IT" #BadCoversJonah Ray
Why doesn’t Chris Brown just have sex with a dude and get it over with.Jen Kirkman
What if we just sort of aim Chris Brown at North Korea and see how that plays outChase Mitchell
Chris Brown should fight a real man like Wendy Williams.Steve
We all want the same thing: for Chris Brown to not be happy.Trevor S