THE BUTLER

The Butler is directed by Lee Daniels. He’s the guy that gave us Precious and The Paperboy and written by Danny Strong. He was one of the nerds in the trio of evil nerds in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He also won an Emmy for writing the Game Change. He has also been blessed with the responsibility of adapting The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Parts 1 & 2.

However, if you don’t have time to see this movie about the true story based on Cecil Gaines, the butler who served eight presidents in the White House, here is the entire story created from stills and other pictures from the movie. (There may be spoilers ahead. You have been warned.)

Once upon a time David Banner and Mariah Carey were husband and wife. They lived on a plantation.

Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Redgrave were the owners of the plantation. They were racist and that was normal back then.

Mariah and David had a kid. His name was Cecil Gaines. The less racist white woman of the plantation was nice to him.

Alex Pettyfer was the bigger racist, of course. He ended up killing Cecil’s dad and doing bad things to Mariah which made her crazy.

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The less racist white woman felt sorry for Cecil so she brought him into the house to work.

When he got older, he left the plantation and found work at a hotel where he learned the trade of service and butlering whilst wearing his first server tuxedo.

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As he got older, someone noticed his fine work at the hotel. It just so happened that someone worked at the White House. So he hired him. And he was happy.

That’s where he met Lenny Kravitz.

…and Cuba Gooding Jr.

The first president he worked for was Robin Williams. He liked to paint.

Cecil also had a family. And Oprah was his wife.

She liked to have a drink now and then…more now than then.

The second president he worked for was Cyclops. His wife was Lyla Garrity.

Racism started to become a bigger issue. Cecil’s older son, Louis, started to get involved the civil rights movement. He started getting into some trouble.

Cecil wasn’t happy that he was always getting into trouble.

But he kept on fighting for equal rights anyway.

President number 3: Ray Donovan. He loved his dogs…

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…and he was always constipated.

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Cecil was spending so much time in the White House that Oprah was getting too lonely…and Terrence Howard tried to holler, but she wasn’t havin’ any of that. She just drank more instead.

Then Lloyd Dobler became president.

Cecil tried to ask for a raise, but didn’t get it. He didn’t make a big deal about it.

Meanwhile, his older son started to hang out with people who wore lots of black leather. Even when it was sunny out.

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His girlfriend was Yaya from the third cycle of America’s Next Top Model. She looked good in an afro.

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Even so, she was rude to her parents and a newly sober Oprah called her a triflin’ low-class bitch.

Two more served and Cecil continued to not get a raise.

Then Severus Snape and Jane Fonda entered the White House.

Lee Daniels' The Butler

He finally got his raise. He was happy.

…but racism still existed. And Louis continued to fight for equal rights.

After Cecil got the raise, he was invited to the State Dinner by Jane Fonda. Soon after that he quit his job so he could fight against racism with his son…because it still existed.

Eventually Obama became president and Cecil continued to be a historical figure in history.

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THE END.

Lee Daniels’ The Butler opens in theaters today.