Golden+Globes+statues

This morning, at the butt crack of dawn, Zoe Saldana, Aziz Ansari, and Olivia Wilde announced the nominees for the 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards and, for the most, part I am satisfied. Although, the more I read the list, the more I think that they could have been a little better. So instead of complaining about who and what got snubbed, I just decided to make my own list of Golden Globe nominees.

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All these years I have wondered how the HFPA defined a comedy vs. a drama vs. a musical. So I took a lot of liberties with that while making this list. For instance, I would hardly consider The Wolf of Wall Street or August: Osage County a comedy and/ or musical…but the HFPA does. I would consider Inside Llewyn Davis a drama, but HFPA categorized it as a comedy/musical which I kind of agree with since there is music involved. Also, there are separate categories for Best Actor and Actress for drama and comedy, but not for Supporting Actor and Actress. Then there’s the category: “Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television.” Why not just call it, “Best Performance by an Actor for Anything on TV”? These categories can just get so confusing and muddled. In any case, I shifted a lot of things around when it came to comedy vs. drama. Enjoy my nominations. They are lots of fun and, in my magical fantasy world, they are the real nominations.

Best Motion Picture – Drama

What was nominated:

12 Years a Slave
Captain Phillips
Gravity
Rush
Philomena

What I think should have been nominated:

12 Years a Slave
American Hustle
The Wolf of Wall Street
Gravity
Fruitvale Station

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

The official nominees:

American Hustle
Her
Inside Llewyn Davis
Nebraska
The Wolf of Wall Street

The unofficial nominees:

Blue Jasmine
Her
Inside Llewyn Davis
Nebraska
The Way Way Back

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama

The real nominees:

Chiwetel Ejiofor for 12 Years a Slave
Idris Elba for Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Tom Hanks for Captain Phillips
Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club
Robert Redford for All Is Lost

My take on the nominees:

Chiwetel Ejiofor for 12 Years a Slave
Idris Elba for Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club
Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street
Michael B. Jordan for Fruitvale Station

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama

Their nominees:

Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock for Gravity
Judi Dench for Philomena
Emma Thompson for Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet for Labor Day

My nominees:

Julie Delpy for Before Midnight
Meryl Streep for August: Osage County
Julia Robert for August: Osage County
Octavia Spencer for Fruitvale Station
Oprah Winfrey for The Butler

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

Here’s what they said:

Christian Bale for American Hustle
Bruce Dern for Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street
Oscar Isaac for Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix for Her

Here’s what I said:

James Franco for Spring Breakers
Bruce Dern for Nebraska
Miles Teller for The Spectacular Now
Oscar Isaac for Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix for Her

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

Their nominees:

Amy Adams for American Hustle
Julie Delpy for Before Midnight
Greta Gerwig for Frances Ha
Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Enough Said
Meryl Streep for August: Osage County

My nominees:

Shailene Woodley for The Spectacular Now
Scarlett Johansson for Her
Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine
Emma Thompson for Saving Mr. Banks
Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Enough Said

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Here’s their list:

Barkhad Abdi for Captain Phillips
Daniel Brühl for Rush
Bradley Cooper for American Hustle
Michael Fassbender for 12 Years a Slave
Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club

Here’s mine:

Barkhad Abdi for Captain Phillips
Jonah Hill for The Wolf of Wall Street
Bobby Cannavale for Blue Jasmine
Michael Fassbender for 12 Years a Slave
Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

What they said:

Sally Hawkins for Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence for American Hustle
Lupita Nyong’o for 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts for August: Osage County
June Squibb for Nebraska

What I said:

Jennifer Lawrence for American Hustle
Sarah Paulson for 12 Years a Slave
Lupita Nyong’o for 12 Years a Slave
Julianne Nicholson for August: Osage County
June Squibb for Nebraska

Best Director – Motion Picture

This sounds alright:

Alfonso Cuarón for Gravity
Paul Greengrass for Captain Phillips
Steve McQueen for 12 Years a Slave
David O. Russell for American Hustle
Alexander Payne for Nebraska

This sounds better:

Alfonso Cuarón for Gravity
Martin Scorsese for The Wolf of Wall Street
Steve McQueen for 12 Years a Slave
David O. Russell for American Hustle
Alexander Payne for Nebraska

Best Television Series – Drama

Theirs:

Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
House of Cards
The Good Wife
Masters of Sex

Mine:

Breaking Bad
Sons of Anarchy
House of Cards
The Americans
Masters of Sex

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy

This is their opinion:

The Big Bang Theory
Girls
Modern Family
Parks and Recreation
Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is mine:

Veep
Girls
The Goldbergs
Parks and Recreation
Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama

The world according to them:

Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad
Kevin Spacey for House of Cards
Liev Schreiber for Ray Donovan
Michael Sheen for Masters of Sex
James Spader for The Blacklist

The world according to me:

Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad
Kevin Spacey for House of Cards
Charlie Hunnam for Sons of Anarchy
Michael Sheen for Masters of Sex
Peter Dinklage for Game of Thrones

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama

Them:

Robin Wright for House of Cards
Julianna Margulies for The Good Wife
Kerry Washington for Scandal
Tatiana Maslany for Orphan Black
Taylor Schilling for Orange Is the New Black

Me:

Robin Wright for House of Cards
Katey Sagal for Sons of Anarchy
Anna Gunn for Breaking Bad
Keri Russell for The Americans
Taylor Schilling for Orange Is the New Black

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

THEM:

Don Cheadle for House of Lies
Jason Bateman for Arrested Development
Jim Parsons for The Big Bang Theory
Michael J. Fox for The Michael J. Fox Show
Andy Samberg for Brooklyn Nine-Nine

ME:

Nick Offerman for Parks and Recreation
Jason Bateman for Arrested Development
Adam Driver for Girls
Michael J. Fox for The Michael J. Fox Show
Andy Samberg for Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

THEM:

Lena Dunham for Girls
Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Veep
Amy Poehler for Parks and Recreation
Zooey Deschanel for New Girl

ME:

Lena Dunham for Girls
Jessica Walter for Arrested Development
Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Veep
Amy Poehler for Parks and Recreation
Connie Britton for Nashville

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

THEM:

Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad
Jon Voight for Ray Donovan
Corey Stoll for House of Cards
Rob Lowe for Behind the Candelabra
Josh Charles for The Good Wife

ME:

Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad
Ron Perlman for Sons of Anarchy
Corey Stoll for House of Cards
Rob Lowe for Behind the Candelabra
Aziz Ansari for Parks an Recreation

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

THEM:

Sofía Vergara for Modern Family
Janet McTeer for The White Queen
Monica Potter for Parenthood
Hayden Panettiere for Nashville
Jacqueline Bisset for Dancing on the Edge

ME:

Rashida Jones for Parks and Recreation
Danielle Brooks for Orange is the New Black
Maggie Siff for Sons of Anarchy
Hayden Panettiere for Nashville
Debbie Reynolds for Behind the Candelabra