Rihanna’s music video for “Bitch Better Have My Money” is a glamorous assault on the senses. I loved every minute of it…. and that shit is 7 minutes long. With all it’s brap-brap-braps, Eric Roberts cameos, and mentions of Louis XIII (what is that supposed to mean any way?), the song is so damn simple, but the video is so satisfyingly cinematic. Rihanna has brought back the art of the music video for me with this sexed-up, superstylized masterpiece of kidnapping and American Psycho-esque violence. She has elevated the ratchet culture to new, luxurious heights.

When Rihanna first came out, I did not like her “Pon De Replay” malarkey that she was dishing out. I wasn’t having that at all. I didn’t really start paying attention to her until she released “Please Don’t Stop the Music.” I was feeling that. Now, her new turn to this “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK” lifestyle has made me scared of her in the same way you’d be scared of having sex for the first time.

Rihanna is the anti-Beyonce and I absolutely love it.

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