Yes, you heard that right. Last week, the Notorious S.J.P. made it hot at Stoneridge Mall in Pleasanton to meet and greet her fans (and sign bottles of her fragrances) at Macy’s and to promote her fragrances, Lovely, Covet and Covet Pure Bloom

I’m gonna work a little backwards here. First I am gonna show you the pics, and then I am gonna talk about my little one-on-one interview with her before she faced her fans…

Here are some pics of the event…

Fans bust out their digicams and cell cams to take pictures of SJP and post it on their Facebook

A select group of fans who bought bottles of her perfume got to meet her and get an autograph

When I saw this lady go up, it seemed like SJP gave her a nice, consoling therapy session

So fabulous, so personable

Her disco ball-ish Miu Miu heels – How SASSY!

Sex and the City paraphernalia invaded Macy’s in anticipating her arrival

Yes, even soccer dads are fans of SJP. You can so tell that he has been a fan of hers since “Flight of the Navigator.”

Okay, sure SJP may look a little awkward, but check out the girl in the yellow – it looks like she’s giving a somewhat side eye to the girls at the table

As for my interview, she was SO sweet – she even complimented my suit! I felt so cool! I even made a fool of myself and said that I loved her since “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!”

To read my FULL interview with her, visit my NEW S.F. Fashion Examiner page by clicking here! Believe you me – it’s a GREAT interview!

Sep 18 Miami, FL: Waterfront Theatre at the American Airlines Arena
Sep 19 Tampa, FL: Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center
Sep 20 Atlanta, GA: Boisfeuillet Jones Atlanta Civic Center
Sep 21 Clemson, SC: Littlejohn Coliseum
Sep 23 New York, NY: WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden
Sep 25 Boston, MA: Citi Performing Arts Center
Sep 26 Atlantic City, NJ: Adrian Phillips Ballroom
Sep 27 Sewell, NJ: Commerce Bank Arts Centre
Sep 29 Washington, DC: DAR Constitution Hall
Sep 30 Newark, NJ: New Jersey Performing Arts Center
Oct 1 Albany, NY: The Palace Theater
Oct 3 Detroit, MI: Masonic Temple Theatre
Oct 4 Milwaukee, WI: Milwaukee Theatre
Oct 5 Rosemont, IL: Rosemont Theatre
Oct 6 Kansas City, MO: Midland Theatre
Oct 8 Denver, CO: Wells Fargo Theatre
Oct 11 Oakland, CA: Paramount Theatre of the Arts
Oct 12 Los Angeles, CA: Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE
Oct 14 Portland, OR: Rose Quarter – Theater Of The Clouds
Oct 15 Everett, WA: Comcast Arena at Everett Events Center

Hmmmm…I may just go to the one in Oakland.

So yeah – last weekend before I went to Texas (which would explain the elongated absence) I got a new tattoo. It’s one of those Baybayin tattoos that all twenty/thirtysomething Filipinos get to show that they are Filipino and that they are cool.

Mine says Ti agmúla, agápit, which in Ilocano (a Filipino dialect), it translates to “He who sows, reaps.”

The tattoo also says, “Yeah, I’m Filipino and have somewhat of a grasp of my culture’s history, but in reality, I think it just looks really cool.” I mean, I could claim that I am hardcore Filipino, but I am past that now. I did the whole spoken word militant bullshit. The tattoo is just a way to celebrate my culture and to permanently mark my body with something that helps me also celebrate myself as a human (how profound). Plus, the literal translation is something universal and it makes me feel kind of smart. It’s a mantra that I live by in more ways than one. In reality, I am not that deep. For crying out loud, I just did a fluffy post on Sex and the City.

The design was by this dude Christian Cabuay. He founded PinoyTattoos.com. Another dude by the name of Oey, the owner of Sacred Tattoo in Oakland, actually carved it on to my skin. I interviewed them for an Asian tattoo article I did that ran on Monday. By their powers combined, they created one helluva tattoo that is looks like a flawless piece of art painted on to my skin.

I feel so tough.

Alice and Paul opted for some cocktails. Apparently, they are just as fun as they look.

There was a special on appetizers: $5 with a purchase of an entree. We took full advantage of this deal, each of us getting an appetizer to share. Paul got the deep-fried green beans, which is totally healthy because it is green beans. The dipping sauce was quite delectable – it was some sort of wasabi concoction.

For more deep-fried fun, I indulged in the deep-fried mac n’ cheese. This shit was fucking good. It is like a heart attack on a plate.

Alice got some sort of encrusted chicken quesadilla with chocolate sauce drizzle. Okay, I don’t know what that is on top.

As a vegetarian, Paul gave this interesting Caprese Lasagna Salad two thumbs up. This is as avant garde as it gets with the TGIFrriday’s menu.

Alice’s Peruvian Herb Roasted Chicken was the restaurant’s attempt to be exotic – and Alice liked it. And you can never go wrong with sweet potato fries. Those were fucking good.

I have made it a rule of thumb never to get salmon from a commercial restaurant. My honey pecan salmon was “eh.” Good thing I kept eating Alice’s sweet potato fries.

You can never go wrong with apple pie, caramel sauce and ice cream – but I think it was unnecessary to serve it on a hot iron skillet for dramatic effect. I did lick that bowl of caramel sauce clean. It was very attractive.

I had really bad gas after eating here.

So far, we have come to a consensus in ranking the restaurants of our chain restaurant tour:

1. Olive Garden
2. TGIFriday’s
3. Red Lobster
4. Chili’s

Our next stop: Claim Jumper!

A while back, I was sitting on BART on my way home when a drunken man approached a fairly decent looking lady sitting by herself, minding her own business.

I already knew what was going to happen.

I tried to lean in closer while acting like I was reading my issue of New York Magazine. All I heard was a bunch of slurring from the college-aged boy and then it ended in utter humiliation when the young lady got up and bluntly said, “Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much!” and walked out of the doors.

Now, I don’t drink (not anymore at least – once I get to know you better, I’ll share that with you). But it was interesting to see these types of scenarios. What made it worse was that he was all by himself. He ended up falling asleep and missing his stop.

That is just pathetic.

This reminds me of one time when my friend, Judi was drunk on 6th street in Austin and she got into an argument with a less-drunk guy. She ended up shoving a slice of pizza in his face and that means I had to step in. I pulled her away from said drunk guy as she kept on yelling obscenities.

After she was a decent distance away from the pizza faced guy, I started to apologize and then he tried to start shit with me saying, “I won’t hit a girl, but I will hit a guy.”

Right then and there, I pulled out my nine and busted five caps into that mother fucker’s ass.

I ended up going to jail for the night, but the guy I shot ultimately survived. He didn’t press charges and I was released on probation.

Long story short, me and the pizza face guy fell in love and we have been together for five years. We have also adopted a Somalian kid via eBay.

Okay, all of that was true until the part about me busting a cap in his ass. I ended up just walking away from the whole situation because that’s not how I roll. Plus, it wasn’t worth it.

But wasn’t the made-up part of my story fun?

Anyways, I am still mad at Judi for putting me in that position.

More often than not, my friend Alice has the same idea. That said, we drag her boyfriend out with us to eat manufactured food in these amusement parks with laminated menus and spotty silverware wrapped in paper napkins.

In an area where these places aren’t the easiest to find, Alice and I make it a point to eat at one every month. So far we’ve hit Chili’s and Olive Garden.

Last week, we dined at Red Lobster in the cosmopolitan city of Fremont.

But before I get to that, I want to share a little story with you.

While waiting for Alice and Paul (her BF), I was sitting in the lobby amidst the devoted Red Lobster fans waiting for a table and the stench of fish sticks. I was sitting on a bench when a young couple made themselves at home next to me.

“You want to sit down?” asked the boy in a thug-like East Bay drawl, draped in a cocked baseball cap and oversized hoodie.

“How about you sit down and I sit on your lap,” answered the girl in imitation Uggs.

So they did.

They did an in-depth analysis of the menu and discussed what they were going to eat in a way that made me uncomfortable. It was like they were in the middle of food foreplay.

“You want crab legs baby?” said the girl.

“Mmmm – that sounds good girl,” said the boy whilst caressing her thighs.

Did they not realize that I was sitting right there? Their talk about all this food eventually turned me on as well.

I was upset when they decided to move to a bench with a bigger audience.

Luckily, Alice and Paul arrived and we got seated almost immediately.

We started off we the restaurant’s world-famous Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Baskets upon baskets were delivered to us because we demanded our less-than-excited waitress to bring some out every time we saw her. The flavor of cheddar, garlic and fluffy Bisquick explode in your mouth and stay with you long after the restaurant.

For a nice “seaside starter,” we opted for the Lobster, Artichoke and Seafood Dip with tortilla chips sprinkled with what seemed to be MSG. We ate it up so fast I didn’t have time to snap a picture.

Alice and Paul shared a delectable cocktail in the form of a margarita presented in this glass purchased from the houseware department at Ross Dress for Less.

Now for the entrees:

Paul is a vegetarian, so eating at Red Lobster was a challenge for him. Our waitress with ill-fitting jeans made it worse for him by acting like a heffa when he asked for advice on what to eat. Nonetheless, he did enjoy a feast of phallic shaped deep fried cheese.

Okay, that big ol’ pile of something on the plate looks like vomit – but if it tasted damn good. Alice chose the Rock Island Stuffed Tilapia. If vomit tasted that good, then I would be a vomit addict. That sounded really gross.

I decided to do the “create your own feast” option with grilled salmon and Walt’s favorite shrimp. Dry and greasy – just how I like it. And who is Walt?

Next stop on the tour? Alice and I are talking about hitting the famous restaurant of kitschy decor and bad service: TGIFridays.