This year, more than ever, I got off my homely ass and actually ventured off into society to watch more shows than I normally do at SF Sketchfest — AND BOY AM I GLAD I DID!

Seriously. I’m glad I did.

There was funny all over the my lovely city and I spread my LOL seed everywhere possible. Here are some of my darlings of the fest.

Wet Hot American Summer: The Live Radio Play: This was probably the crowning moment sermon of the fest. Some of the original actors of the movie, Michael Ian Black, Joe Lo Truglio, Ken Marino, Christopher Meloni, Marguerite Moreau, Amy Poehler, Paul Rudd, Molly Shannon, Michael Showalter, David Wain as well as other celebrity guests had a LIVE reading of one of the most culty scriptures known to man….AND I DIDN’T GO BECAUSE IT SOLD OUT. I am only 55 percent over it. (FML.)

The Groundlings: Beverly Winwood Presents The Actors Showcase: The improv company had a couple of shows and this is the one I went to (I failed to catch “The Black Version” — please don’t think I’m racist). In any matter, I was treated to a lampooning if the world of “acting” led by the glorious (and slightly delusional) Beverly Winwood. Also, Jennifer Coolidge.

Upright Citizens Brigade A.S.S.S.C.A.T.: Yet another show that I did not get to go to because it was reportedly sold out in under five minutes. FIVE. MINUTES. It is that serious. And it was probably just as funny. *SIGH* I am sure Amy Poehler missed me.

The SF Sketchfest Dozen: A finely curated bunch of on-the-rise comedians who will tickle your pickle. The group included the likes of Rachel Feinstein, Ron Funches, Nikki Glaser, Pete Holmes, Myq Kaplan, Moshe Kasher, Kyle Kinane, Jessi Klein, Morgan Murphy, Nick Thune, Brendon Walsh and Sheng Wang. Their performances were peppered throughout the festival and provided joy and wonder to all. You have changed my life forever.

The Paul F. Tompkins Show: Armed with nothing but his wit, his Sherlock Holmes style, the healing power of music and special guests Judy Greer, John Hodgman and Ted Leo, Mr. Tompkins show was SO brilliant that they had to add a second show.

Podcasts galore: RISK! Doug Loves Movies, The Nerdist — and many, many, many more. It has fueled my desire to start my own podcast. I am sure no one will listen to it, but at least I know that my voice is getting heard…by me.

Till next year SF Sketchfest. I sit at the edge of my seat waiting for your arrival.

The Bourne Legacy could possibly be the most mind-blowing, bone-cracking action movie of the year (unless a Crank 3 comes out). Jeremy Renner has graduated to the next level of action star from Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol to become the amnesiac killing machine who, based on the trailer, is from Reno and likes to construct MacGyver-like weaponry out of fire extinguisher and nails. Check it out:

The Bourne Legacy also stars Bourne alums Joan Allen, David Strathairn, and Albert Finney as well as Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Stacy Keach, and Oscar Isaac. The movie opens August 3, 2012. That gives you PLENTY of time to brush up on your Bourne knowledge!

The Vow opens on Friday — just in time for Valentine’s Day! I know all of y’all are ready to cry at the sight of Channing Tatum trying to make a amnesiac Rachel McAdams fall in love with him all over again. I know I am ready to shed a few tears and I am almost certain this movie will be great emotional porn.

In any matter, I am just as excited to see that Scott Speedman plays a big douche in the movie. My love for Scott exists mainly because of his iconic role of lovable meathead, Ben Covington on my favorite show of all time Felicity. In a recent interview with Liane Bonin Starr on HitFix, he gave all of us Felicity fans hope for a Felicity reunion:

I hope J.J. Abrams and Keri Russell are listening because we need to make this drug addled Ben a reality!

This is so going on my vision board.

For those who like weed and Christmas:

For those who want to feel fancy and literary:

For those of you who like Catherine Zeta Jones movies that no one watched:

For those who have a boner for that Lloyd Webber guy:

For those who like animals in human clothing:

For the douchey cinephiles:

For those who care about canine love:

For those of you who think primates should live like humans:

For those who care about terminal illness and love:

For those of you who claim to like theater:

For those of you who know what this is:

For those of you who actually thought this movie was good (In stores Feb. 11):

It’s still Kirsten Dunst-less. Still Toby Maguire-less. Lots of Andrew Garfield speaking in an American accent. Lots of leaping. Lots of webby fingers. Lots of a non-redheaded Emma Stone. Lots of other comic book action and even though it was directed by 500 Days of Summer‘s Marc Webb, it does not look adorkable. I’ll shut the hell up and let you watch the trailer.

Now that Madonna has single-handedly blessed us with world peace via a non-whorish Super Bowl performance, I am officially convinced that her new single, “Give Me All Your Luvin’” deserves its own iPod shuffle.

The caged go-go dancing track is drenched in swingin’ ’60s organ synth and blatantly (and briefly) features the skillz of Nicki Minaj and M.I.A.. They are all friends now. Remember how Madge and Justin Timberlake were BFFs for her last album? It’s kind of like that.

With it’s “Oh Mickey you’re so fine” appeal, the song hypnotizes me and makes me think that I am happy — kind of like the video. It’s surreal, odd, creepy, conveniently football-themed, looks expensively low budget, and has Madonna breastfeeding a toy baby. It’s kind of like being a voyeur in a really weird wet dream of an awkward closeted junior varsity football player.

Please notice Eli Manning’s hand placement in this picture.

Now that we got that out of the way, the Super Bowl tweets were popping up like boners at a slow dance at a junior high prom. The tweets were possibly even in more abundance (and more entertaining) than that of the Oscars or the Golden Globes. The topics of choice were Eli Manning’s facial expressions, Tom Brady’s hot wife, Madonna’s half time World Peace extravaganza, and, of course, Clint Eastwood.

Take note: airplane overhead storage compartments are deadlier than they appear.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have some big news for you: Chronicle is the first movie of 2012 that I would actually recommend for people to watch without hesitation.

The Max Landis-scribed movie about a trio of high school buddies (played by Michael B. Jordan, Alex Russell, and Dane DeHaan) who discover they have superhero telekinetic powers is a fun ride of found footage. It shows what would happen when REAL people (like me) would do if they found out they can control stuff with their mind — like fly in the air, play harmless pranks on people, and play with Legos. It also shows what would happen if a out-of-control bullied kid would do if he had these powers — that stuff is not so fun.

Directed by John Trank, the movie is layered enough with angsty high school context and some curious “how did they do that?!” scenes of movie magic. Ultimately, it was just an entertaining movie to cut through the mediocre run of movies in theaters whilst we sit on our hands waiting for the Oscar results. That said, go watch it this weekend. In the meantime, I have concocted a recipe that could possibly make the perfect Chronicle. Please enjoy:

1. Mix the X-men, Cloverfield, and Carrie ingredients together well in an oversized tub. Set aside.

2. Wash and dry the Social Network character.

3. Submerge the character in the tub of the mixture made in step one. Marinate for one hour (or overnight for maximum flavor).

4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

5. Make a bouquet garni with the the Dark Phoenix, Bully, and Spider-man 3. Set aside.

6. Mix the Mean Girls, Can’t Buy Me Love, and Clueless in a small bowl to make a dry rub. Generously rub the mixture on the Social Network character

7. Stuff the bouquet garni in the cavity of the Social Network character.

8. Place the character in the oven and bake for 82 minutes.

9. Once done, let it rest for 10 minutes. Slice, serve, and enjoy.

Chronicle opens in theaters today.

The Woman in Black is basically a ghost story about — you guessed it — a woman in black. She lives in a creepy house and terrorizes a quaint little town whilst wearing her glamorous black veil. Arthur Kipps (Daniel Radcliffe), a lawyer, is visiting the town to settle some business with the aforementioned creepy house and as expected, he gets himself into a whole lotta spooky predicaments.

Where is Scooby and they gang when you need them?!

In any matter, I took the liberty to give you a couple of tips before you watch the first scary movie of 2012.

The Woman in Black opens in theaters today.