I’ll be live-tweeting the Golden Globes — make sure you follow me so that you can bathe in the brilliance of my obnoxious whorishness.

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After the Pacquiao vs. Marquez fight, we had a little dance party at our house (as all post-boxing events should have). The first song that came on our satellite radio was, “The Right Stuff” by late ’80s/early ’90s darling Vanessa Williams (long before she was Desperate Housewive-ing and Ugly Betty-ing — she was SO much cooler back then. Hence the lace body suit.).

This song was destined to be a workout song mainly because of the video’s irresistible “na-na-na-na-hey-hey-hey-hey” cat call and infinite supply of stretch pants:

In the neo noir-ish Drive, Ryan Gosling plays a nameless stunt driver who moonlights as a getaway driver who gets into a little trouble — but right off the bat, there are two things worth pointing out:

1.) An awesome font on the movie poster which echoes that of the “Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads” font of 1988′s Heathers:

2.) The totally bitchin’ soundtrack of 21st century retro-but-not, new wave SXSW-worthy artists like Kavinsky & Lovefoxxx, Chromatics, Desire, College, Electric Youth, as well as movie music maestros Riz Ortolani and Cliff Martinez. It gives the music a Risky Business vibe — but more menacingly eerie and less sexy (there is no sex on a train scene…sorry).

Besides that, director (and Gosling’s number one bro) Nicolas Refn and screenwriter Hossein Amini translate James Sallis‘s book into a morally ambiguous cinematic experience full of tense car chases, shady criminals and delicious betrayal. Also, there’s a bunch of brains being blown out and a myriad of blood spattering.

The entire cast is pretty high in terms of celeb wattage. AMC denizens Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men) pop up as an earnest mechanic and a damaged trashy city girl respectively. Albert Brooks and Ron Perlman bestow us with their presence as sleazy guys who are up to no good. And Carey Mulligan gives some middle-class cuteness as the love interest.

Then there’s Ryan Gosling.

After leaving the theater, I was thoroughly moved by the movie because I didn’t know what to think of it. It was cryptic enough, but not pretentious. It prodded at my brain and gave me enough violence to satisfy me. It was a delicious bite of cinema that makes me feel like I am watching cinema — then there’s something I like to call the “Gosling Effect.”

I have come to the conclusion that anything Ryan Gosling touches is automatically good because of his high level of swagger. You could argue that this started with The Notebook. Hell, you can even go as far back as his mini-swag days in The Mickey Mouse Club, but he didn’t officially start his “Tour of Swagger” until this year’s Crazy, Stupid, Love. As opposed to his lauded roles in more indie-minded fare Blue Valentine and All Good Things, Crazy, Stupid, Love was a movie made for the masses; thus starting his “Tour of Swagger”.

This tour continued strong off the screen when he broke up that fight on the street in New York, but with Drive his “Tour of Swagger” took a confident stride. Anything and everything about his mere presence on screen had nothing but swagger thus making this movie one of his most swag-worthy on his tour.

It goes without saying that his job as a stunt car/getaway driver for hire has swag written all over it — but it’s more about the details. For instance, the gloves he wears whilst driving have swag:

His satin jacket is also a token of his swaggerosity. On another person, it would look ridiculous and obnoxiously hipster-like.

…bonus swag points for the embroidered Scorpion on the back:

Other moments of wardrobe swaggerness occur with Gosling’s denim jacket as well as a toothpick — which he frequently has in his mouth throughout the movie. He is an actualized version of the lyrics from Kanye’s lyrics in Beyonce’s song, “Party”. He has the swag sauce and he’s dripping swagu:

In addition to being a stunt car driver, he works as a brooding mechanic during the day:

…and only Gosling can wear a filthy shirt and bust a mack on Carey Mulligan and still get some play:

Gosling has an endless supply of swagger — which means his tour won’t end here. Ides of March may be the big finale, but he still has time to get caught on video breaking up another fight or delivering a baby on the floor of McDonald’s.

Until then, Drive has enough swagger to satisfy.

Drive opens in theaters September 16.

Back To the Future II is my favorite BTTF installment of the most brilliant time-travel franchise ever made so when I heard they were actually coming out with a pair of Nike Air MAGs (the kind with power laces) I exclaimed GREAT SCOTT!

Nothing is really CONFIRMED, but Nike has started a vague “It’s About Time” campaign — actually it’s not that vague since they hosted an event where all participants got a pair of Doc’s shield glasses.

Then there’s this:

Considering the shoes in BTTF II come from 2015, it’s a treat that we can possibly getting these shoes four years early!

All I need now are a hover board, self-drying jacket and a Sports Almanac from the future disguised as a copy of Oh-La-La.

Since I have nothing better to do, I am going to be live Tweeting the MTV Video Music Awards. It’s easier than live-blogging and let’s me get in some quick jabs about how odd it is that MTV is having an awards show for music videos.

Head on over to my Twitter account @DinoRay for my snarky discourse.

It’s time for simians to shine.

The other day I saw what I thought was a Margiela monkey fur coat at Barneys — but it was goat fur. Nonetheless, it looked like monkey fur. Shaggy monkey fur outerwear has been present nearly everywhere and if you look at Beyonce‘s new album cover and her “Run this World” video then you will see her wearing furry things (PETA is definitely not happy with that). Whether or not it is monkey fur is left up to argument, but I would like to think it is so it can fulfill the third point in my zeitgeist study.

Then there’s Project Nim which opens in select San Francisco Bay Area theaters on July 15. Directed by James Marsh and the Oscar-winning peeps that brought us Man on a Wire is an insightful documentary about the journey of Nim a lovable chimpanzee — but this isn’t necessarily a Curious George type of story. In the ’70s Nim was raised and nurtured as a human child. He taught how to communicate via sign language with his “family” and then moved to a more “scientific” environment and then to an even MORE scientific environment. The documentary is an unsettling, insightful, and sentimental look at a chimpanzee’s life. It’s definitely a documentary to make you feel like you are watching something of substance…and to make you feel cultured and smart.

On the flipside of that is Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Any movie that has a title that uses the same preposition twice and stars James Franco, Freida Pinto, and Tom Felton is probably worth your time. I mean, who doesn’t like disgruntled simians on a rampage?

I usually don’t care about red carpet premieres, but there’s something about the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 premiere in London’s Trafalgar Square on July 7 (that’s today) that makes me care.

I think it’s because it’s the last Harry Potter premiere. EVER.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, we will no longer be transported to Hogwart’s. We will no longer be treated to wizardry angst. We will no longer witness Harry’s sexual tension with Ginny, Hermione — and even Ron for that matter.

But let’s not shed a tear. Let’s ogle at all the fine clothing that will traipse down that red carpet. Luckily, Livestream.com is one of the many websites that will be streaming a live webcast of the London premiere starting at 11 a.m. ET – so make sure you stay tuned to see interviews with Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, J.K. Rowling, David Yates and many more.

The red carpet can also be an opportunity to ask a lot of questions like the ever-popular, “Who the hell invited them to the premiere?” and, of course, “What is that zany Helena Bonham Carter going to wear?!”

Nonetheless, make sure you stay tuned to TheFinerDandy.com and watch the Livestream.com webcast of the London premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 starting at 11 a.m. ET. You can also watch the U.S. premiere on July 11.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 opens in theaters nationwide July 15.

But the highlight of the evening was not his win nor was it J. Lo‘s rump shaking with her hubby Marc Anthony. It wasn’t the sterilized and cheesy group routine to Gaga’s “Born this Way” and it wasn’t the fact that the finale was an orgy of fame and shameless plugs. It was this:

James Durbin fills the much-needed void of Folsom Street Fair unicorns in the universe.

This fetching little head accessory is best showcased by two trendsetting ladies: Michelle Williams in Meek’s Cutoff and Robin Wright in The Conspirator — but who wore it better?

There’s nothing like a woman in a bonnet to get me all hot and bothered.

First off, there’s Malcolm-Jamal Warner. He’s been having a recurring role in Community as Shirley’s (Yvette Nicole Brown) ex-husband Andre. Even though his role doesn’t get my funny bone in a frenzy, his mere presence on the show is a good move for his career — because Community is as cool as The Cosby Show. Speaking of — I recently watched a couple of episodes from the first season of the aforementioned sitcom during my down time at SXSW, and was mesmerized by the brilliance of Malcolm as Theo — especially in the episode where Denise made him the knock-off Gordon Gartrell shirt (One of the best episodes of any ’80s TV show. Ever.)

Then there is the unnecessary attempt for a resurgence of the bolo tie. First off, the white-toothed Paul “Too Happy to Not Be on Uppers” McDonald from American Idol has been sporting them. His Adam Levine-meets-Bradley Cooper falsetto can charm the crowd, but that don’t give him an excuse to wear something that looks like a fancy tampon string.

However, Parks and Recreation took a snarky jab at the cowboy ascot in the recent “Harvest Festival” episode when Tom (Aziz Ansari) told a guy that his bolo tie was “dope.”

Hopefully my mentioning of Theo Cosby and bolo ties will make your Wednesday a little brighter.