If I hear one more thing about being “green,” I am going to shoot myself with a gas powered rifle that is made out of ivory sculpted in a sweatshop that uses vast amounts of fossil fuels and the employees are underpaid and undervalued.

That was a joke. But I am trying to make a point.

I appreciate the fact that the world is becoming more eco-aware. In fact, I love it. Ever since I moved to the Bay Area, I have been more eco-aware than I have ever been.

But when I am at work and every other press release has to with an eco-friendly sandal or a biodegradable umbrella or a “green” this or a “green” that – I want to vomit. It even bubbles over into everyday life. I see all these companies becoming green with the most RIDICULOUS things like an eco-shaped bottle or some bullshit like that.

I know that Earth day is coming up soon and that is why I am getting all these annoying press releases, but c’mon folks, don’t use this “green” movement” as a way to sell an overpriced product – that’s what half this shit is.

That said, if this flood of green continues there is going to be this backlash that will be equally annoying. I don’t know what it will be, but it will happen.

The world gets the idea that we need to take care of our planet, but when we get hit over the head with it constantly, on the hour every hour, I start to get enraged like the Hulk – who is green as well.

Okay. I am done with my rant.