This year, more than ever, I got off my homely ass and actually ventured off into society to watch more shows than I normally do at SF Sketchfest — AND BOY AM I GLAD I DID!

Seriously. I’m glad I did.

There was funny all over the my lovely city and I spread my LOL seed everywhere possible. Here are some of my darlings of the fest.

Wet Hot American Summer: The Live Radio Play: This was probably the crowning moment sermon of the fest. Some of the original actors of the movie, Michael Ian Black, Joe Lo Truglio, Ken Marino, Christopher Meloni, Marguerite Moreau, Amy Poehler, Paul Rudd, Molly Shannon, Michael Showalter, David Wain as well as other celebrity guests had a LIVE reading of one of the most culty scriptures known to man….AND I DIDN’T GO BECAUSE IT SOLD OUT. I am only 55 percent over it. (FML.)

The Groundlings: Beverly Winwood Presents The Actors Showcase: The improv company had a couple of shows and this is the one I went to (I failed to catch “The Black Version” — please don’t think I’m racist). In any matter, I was treated to a lampooning if the world of “acting” led by the glorious (and slightly delusional) Beverly Winwood. Also, Jennifer Coolidge.

Upright Citizens Brigade A.S.S.S.C.A.T.: Yet another show that I did not get to go to because it was reportedly sold out in under five minutes. FIVE. MINUTES. It is that serious. And it was probably just as funny. *SIGH* I am sure Amy Poehler missed me.

The SF Sketchfest Dozen: A finely curated bunch of on-the-rise comedians who will tickle your pickle. The group included the likes of Rachel Feinstein, Ron Funches, Nikki Glaser, Pete Holmes, Myq Kaplan, Moshe Kasher, Kyle Kinane, Jessi Klein, Morgan Murphy, Nick Thune, Brendon Walsh and Sheng Wang. Their performances were peppered throughout the festival and provided joy and wonder to all. You have changed my life forever.

The Paul F. Tompkins Show: Armed with nothing but his wit, his Sherlock Holmes style, the healing power of music and special guests Judy Greer, John Hodgman and Ted Leo, Mr. Tompkins show was SO brilliant that they had to add a second show.

Podcasts galore: RISK! Doug Loves Movies, The Nerdist — and many, many, many more. It has fueled my desire to start my own podcast. I am sure no one will listen to it, but at least I know that my voice is getting heard…by me.

Till next year SF Sketchfest. I sit at the edge of my seat waiting for your arrival.

The Bourne Legacy could possibly be the most mind-blowing, bone-cracking action movie of the year (unless a Crank 3 comes out). Jeremy Renner has graduated to the next level of action star from Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol to become the amnesiac killing machine who, based on the trailer, is from Reno and likes to construct MacGyver-like weaponry out of fire extinguisher and nails. Check it out:

The Bourne Legacy also stars Bourne alums Joan Allen, David Strathairn, and Albert Finney as well as Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Stacy Keach, and Oscar Isaac. The movie opens August 3, 2012. That gives you PLENTY of time to brush up on your Bourne knowledge!

The Vow opens on Friday — just in time for Valentine’s Day! I know all of y’all are ready to cry at the sight of Channing Tatum trying to make a amnesiac Rachel McAdams fall in love with him all over again. I know I am ready to shed a few tears and I am almost certain this movie will be great emotional porn.

In any matter, I am just as excited to see that Scott Speedman plays a big douche in the movie. My love for Scott exists mainly because of his iconic role of lovable meathead, Ben Covington on my favorite show of all time Felicity. In a recent interview with Liane Bonin Starr on HitFix, he gave all of us Felicity fans hope for a Felicity reunion:

I hope J.J. Abrams and Keri Russell are listening because we need to make this drug addled Ben a reality!

This is so going on my vision board.

For those who like weed and Christmas:

For those who want to feel fancy and literary:

For those of you who like Catherine Zeta Jones movies that no one watched:

For those who have a boner for that Lloyd Webber guy:

For those who like animals in human clothing:

For the douchey cinephiles:

For those who care about canine love:

For those of you who think primates should live like humans:

For those who care about terminal illness and love:

For those of you who claim to like theater:

For those of you who know what this is:

For those of you who actually thought this movie was good (In stores Feb. 11):

It’s still Kirsten Dunst-less. Still Toby Maguire-less. Lots of Andrew Garfield speaking in an American accent. Lots of leaping. Lots of webby fingers. Lots of a non-redheaded Emma Stone. Lots of other comic book action and even though it was directed by 500 Days of Summer‘s Marc Webb, it does not look adorkable. I’ll shut the hell up and let you watch the trailer.

Take note: airplane overhead storage compartments are deadlier than they appear.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have some big news for you: Chronicle is the first movie of 2012 that I would actually recommend for people to watch without hesitation.

The Max Landis-scribed movie about a trio of high school buddies (played by Michael B. Jordan, Alex Russell, and Dane DeHaan) who discover they have superhero telekinetic powers is a fun ride of found footage. It shows what would happen when REAL people (like me) would do if they found out they can control stuff with their mind — like fly in the air, play harmless pranks on people, and play with Legos. It also shows what would happen if a out-of-control bullied kid would do if he had these powers — that stuff is not so fun.

Directed by John Trank, the movie is layered enough with angsty high school context and some curious “how did they do that?!” scenes of movie magic. Ultimately, it was just an entertaining movie to cut through the mediocre run of movies in theaters whilst we sit on our hands waiting for the Oscar results. That said, go watch it this weekend. In the meantime, I have concocted a recipe that could possibly make the perfect Chronicle. Please enjoy:

1. Mix the X-men, Cloverfield, and Carrie ingredients together well in an oversized tub. Set aside.

2. Wash and dry the Social Network character.

3. Submerge the character in the tub of the mixture made in step one. Marinate for one hour (or overnight for maximum flavor).

4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

5. Make a bouquet garni with the the Dark Phoenix, Bully, and Spider-man 3. Set aside.

6. Mix the Mean Girls, Can’t Buy Me Love, and Clueless in a small bowl to make a dry rub. Generously rub the mixture on the Social Network character

7. Stuff the bouquet garni in the cavity of the Social Network character.

8. Place the character in the oven and bake for 82 minutes.

9. Once done, let it rest for 10 minutes. Slice, serve, and enjoy.

Chronicle opens in theaters today.

The Woman in Black is basically a ghost story about — you guessed it — a woman in black. She lives in a creepy house and terrorizes a quaint little town whilst wearing her glamorous black veil. Arthur Kipps (Daniel Radcliffe), a lawyer, is visiting the town to settle some business with the aforementioned creepy house and as expected, he gets himself into a whole lotta spooky predicaments.

Where is Scooby and they gang when you need them?!

In any matter, I took the liberty to give you a couple of tips before you watch the first scary movie of 2012.

The Woman in Black opens in theaters today.

]]> http://blog.dinoray.com/2012/02/03/8-tips-to-prepare-you-for-the-woman-in-black/feed/ 3 http://blog.dinoray.com/2012/02/02/reviewing-a-review-of-coriolanus/ http://blog.dinoray.com/2012/02/02/reviewing-a-review-of-coriolanus/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:09:18 +0000 dino-ray http://blog.dinoray.com/?p=8939

Immediately after watching Ralph Feinnes Shakespeare-to-screen film, Coriolanus, I thought, “I kind of liked Maid in Manhattan better. I am totally joking…kind of.

As I was talking with a fellow movie writer about the film, he was commenting on how the movie wasn’t that great. He was venting about how it is so difficult and sometimes a mistake to try to adapt Shakespeare to a modern times as the film did. My response was, “I thought the film was pretty.”

Nonetheless, as I was trolling the internet, I came across a review of the movie by Matt Bochenski from a UK-based site called Little White Lies. Seeing as though the movie is rich with UK “style” and actors, I thought his review would be ideal to discuss. Also, Matt was one of the only ones didn’t contribute to the movie’s “certified freshness” on RottenTomatoes.com. His pull quote featured on the site said the following:

No more Shakespeare until we agree it needs to be translated into real English, please.

This is almost EXACTLY what my fellow movie writer was saying. The archaic language makes Shakespeare movies very difficult to digest.

Matt’s review uses this as the core of his opinion — and a strong opinion it is. He even goes to say that “…there’s no place for William Shakespeare in cinema.” That is a tad extreme, but I do see the validity in his rant. If you’re going to do Shakespeare, DO SHAKESPEARE. Do it in the appropriate time period. Make it a period piece. (let’s hope that Carlo Carlei’s upcoming adaptation of Romeo and Juliet follows this rule).

If someone does a modern-day interpretation of a Shakespeare play, make it exactly that: an interpretation. 10 Things I Hate About You did it with Taming of the Shrew and it turned out to be the most AWESOME movie. Or if people must insist on doing a word-for-word adaptation of a Shakespeare play — do it in a hyper-reality. Make it a fantasy that distracts us from the archaic language. Julie Taymor did it with Titus and Baz Luhrmann catered to the MTV generation with his music video take on Romeo + Juliet. They weren’t the greatest movies, but they did manage to make us visually happy.

Matt goes on to talk about the “dull drone of a dead language” and the movie’s plot, which I got lost in because I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell they were talking about. In other words, the movie will make many feel dumb and stroke the egos of those who love to hang on Shakespeare’s nuts.

And so Coriolanus unfolds in agonising monologues as the savagely patrician General wins and loses the support of the citizenry in a time of crisis, turns traitor and is in turn betrayed for his sins.

So basically, some big-time general gets hated on by the people of Rome during war time; then gains their love; then loses their respect; then gets banished; then meets up with Rome’s enemy; then joins their side, making him a traitor and then eventually gets (spoiler alert) killed by the enemy. All of this and we are treated to the screen presence of Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Cox, Jessica Chastain, and Gerard Butler.

Good Lord, typing that explanation gave me an aneurysm.

Matt goes on to say:

The problem is that Fiennes has failed to inject one of the Bard’s most talky texts with any cinematic impetus. On stage, all that posturing, that capital-A acting – that fucking monologuing – may well be spellbindingly powerful. But cinema is, well, many things but it’s not a stage – it doesn’t reward impassivity and grandstanding. And it especially doesn’t reward it in what is, essentially, a foreign language.

That’s some prolific writing there.

I do get what Mr. Bochenski is saying here. Sure, the script for this movie was groomed for an “actor” — it IS Shakespeare. But it was written for stage, not screen and perhaps this kind of language should stay on the stage. Fiennes deserves a round of applause for his directing skills and all of the actors acted the shit out of this movie, but too bad it was a movie whose language has as much significance as an Discman in 2012.

Coriolanus is currently playing in select theaters and opens in wider release on Friday

]]> http://blog.dinoray.com/2012/02/02/reviewing-a-review-of-coriolanus/feed/ 0 http://blog.dinoray.com/2012/02/02/omg-a-new-trailer-for-the-hunger-games/ http://blog.dinoray.com/2012/02/02/omg-a-new-trailer-for-the-hunger-games/#comments Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:49:22 +0000 dino-ray http://blog.dinoray.com/?p=8957

With the reaping right around the corner, the new trailer for The Hunger Games gives us a taste of more EXCITEMENT! Actually, there’s really nothing new. There’s no new footage accept for a focus on the mockingjay pin. Nonetheless, I am squealing with delight on the inside. I am such a teenage girl when it comes to this movie.

This new trailer is wonderful and all, but this one is still my absolute favorite:

The Hunger Games – Hamburger Helper Trailer – watch more funny videos

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