It’s funny – right after she called to invite me, I got an email from the PR people handling the concert and they asked me if I wanted a review ticket and to attend a press hour with some of the dancers. The reason for this was because I’ve already been to the previous two concerts that came through the Bay Area AND I did interviews with past cast members (I am saying this with a pompous grin).

Unfortunately, I turned down the opportunity to speak with Twitch, Thayne, Katee, Joshua and all of the rest of the dancers because I had to work. With that, I had to turn down the ticket as well because I told them I already had a ticket and I thought it would be nice to attend the show as a “non press member” for a change.

Was that stupid of me? Actually, none of the dancers of this past season really intrigued me. They are talented, but I was over them. It was like old high school friends who you never kept in touch with inviting you out for dinner and drinks.

Despite the man sitting in front of me with a horrendous case of B.O. and a Debbie Downer face, the concert was fun. I tested my camera’s digital zoom feature and I surprisingly got some good pics! Do these stills look familiar? Well, they performed dances that they did on the show. If you can name all of them, I’ll give you a special prize…

Yeah, I think I am ready for this season to be over. I just want them to choose a winner and get it over with. After watching tonight, I just don’t really have a favorite. Actually I think my favorite was becoming Will until he got the boot.

In a word, I am bored. The timing of the finale couldn’t be any more perfect.

Now, I am just watching it for the sake of watching it – and so I could make fun of Mary. On HDTV, you can see all this bizarre imperfections on her leathery skin.

Another thing – I will no longer be able to post anymore clips from the show because RedLasso got BUSTED!

I’ll do a recap tomorrow…along with ABDC and Project Runway.

One day, in this post-lay off era, I decided to check my messages from my work phone (before they cut it off). Some dude left a message asking if I was interested in being a part of this “reality show” project.

He didn’t leave much information. In fact, he didn’t leave any information at all – only his phone number and a veiled chance for “15-minutes of fame” reality show stardom.

Needless to say, I was intrigued.

I called and he explained that they were starting a reality show that was like “Sex and the City” meets “The Hills” on a major cable television show network – and that’s all he could say.

Now if you dissect his explanation, neither of those shows are “reality.”

Right off the bat, I told him that I hated “The Hills” and that reality show has lost all meaning since the very first “Real World.” I was kind of being annoying and matter-of-factly.

That’s when he said, “That’s why I thought you’d be a good fit – I read an article of yours about reality shows.”

If he read the same reality show bashing article I was thinking of, then I have to admit I was kind of embarrassed. I wrote it a long time ago and it wasn’t exactly representative of my fabulousness today. (click here if you wanna read it.)

Then he said that my name was magically thrown into the hat for this reality show project. From who? He didn’t know.

I was skeptical and captivated all at once. Here I was, talking to some dude based out of L.A. about a show that had a very foggy concept that was going to be on a “major cable television” network that could’ve been Cinemax for all I know (later on, I told my sister about this proposition and she asked if it was porn and I, with a tinge of self-doubt, said no).

He continued this impromptu phone interview asking about my friends, what I did, etc…etc. Don’t worry, no social security numbers or blood types were given out.

He said he would send me an application and asked me to fill it out so we can “move on” with the process. If my application was good enough, I would be asked to be interviewed in a non-invasive setting.

So I filled it out and pondered about this chance at being on a reality show. For one, it could make me look like the biggest slut in the world and then advance my career to be a love-to-hate reality show character. Secondly, it would give me exposure and everyone could be jealous of me because I was on TV. Third, it could possibly be a paying gig!

Then I thought, “No Pulitzer Prize winning novelist was ever on a reality show.”

I was still captivated, but my interest started to wane. I just wanted to know what the fuck this show was about so I sent the “reality show recruiter man” weekly emails asking for updates. He would politely email back saying he couldn’t divulge any information.

Then, one fateful day, I got this email from him:

thanks for checking in. we just had a meeting with the network and we are moving on with other groups. we were so pleased to have you in the mix of our great network of fab san franciscans but sadly we’re going in another direction. i wish you all the best and if anything changes i’ll let you know.

Busted. Either I wasn’t cool enough, or I wasn’t trashy enough. Or maybe I wasn’t dramatic enough. Or maybe I wasn’t scandalous enough. Maybe I was just freaking boring. Also, I think my “old” age of 29 may have been too much for them.

Alas, the reality show I was never on. I felt kind of defeated, but at least I know someone is noticing me.

A couple of days later, while I was at that Sarah Jessica Parker event at Macy’s, someone said, “I heard MTV is doing some sort of ‘Hills’ reality show in the marina in San Francisco – it’s sounds like a really dumb idea.”

Hmmmm…I wonder if it was the one I tried out for. Nonetheless, I either lost an opportunity to be famous or gained more opportunity to protect my integrity.

I am gonna go with the latter.

This week was their “bring the beat” challenge, where the crews had to make “beats” to dance to. Kind of like “Stomp.”

Anyways, here’s my take for tonight. I’ll keep it short.

Fanny Pak: It was fun, quirky, silly and sassy. I liked it. I especially like how those two were boinking between the lockers and the fat boy. Fanny Pak is hot.

So Real: Cool performance, but I don’t understand why the judges love them. They have great choreography, but it seems like they don’t have an element in their bag of tricks that make them the it crew. And I need to say something about that girl who keeps complaining about her parents not supporting her. (warning: I am about to become an asshole – I’ve had a bad day, forgive me) She needs to stop throwing her parents under the bus and just PROVE that she can make this a career – and with this show, she is already doing so. Do you know how many Asian kids aren’t doing what they want because their parents aren’t supporting them? I was one of them and my parents eventually stopped hounding me once I proved that I can do this writing shit as a career. I feel like she’s using this little melodrama to win sympathy points because they keep on regurgitating this shit over and over again. Please – get a real story that has real issues (like being homeless, being deaf, having a dad in a coma). This problem pales in comparison to what other crews on the show are experiencing. Don’t use this cultural conflict as an excuse. Just do it and if your parents don’t support you, it should make you work harder. Stop complaining about it and do your thing. Okay, my rant is done. Bottom line: they were pretty good.

Boogie Bots: It was fun and creative. Funky and they brought some great moves to the stage. They didn’t necessarily “smash” it, but they did put a nice big dent into it. I liked the whole “benchwarmer” idea of the routine and that “Flashdance” reference was top notch.

So the bottom two were Super Cr3w and Supreme Soul…

Something is wrong here. These two crews were far better than anyone else on the show tonight. Like Shane said, people need to vote. I have come to the conclusion people aren’t basing it on talent. It’s become a popularity contest or people are just voting based on the crew that lives closest to them.

Pretty much unfair, but what can you do?

Super Cr3w is really talented and I don’t know why they keep on landing in the bottom. They killed it tonight with their high flying basketball routine. As for Supreme Soul their rank in the bottom is less surprising, but surprising nonetheless. Their position on the show has been oddly erratic. I thought their hockey routine was inventive and trademark SS – but in the end, they had to walk it out – it was very unfortunate.

Ah well, my Bay Area homeboys had to go home – even though they were better than some of the others who weren’t in the bottom two.

Lesson learned: VOTE.

Wow. I felt like a big ol’ blogging asshole tonight. It’s been a long day. I’ll be happier next week. I promise.

Photo by: Polk Imaging

But kudos to Fanny Pak for busting out that picture of Lopez during his jheri curl Slater days.

And I have to give love to Lil’ Mama’s hair. It’s nice to see that she decided to forego her arsenal of bedazzled weave caps.

That’s a shock.

The bottom two girls were Comfort and Courtney – okay, that’s not too shocking.

And I must say that Cat Deeley looks like a cocktail waitress at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas.

Enough of that…

So the two dancers who left tonight were…

Yes, it was Comfort and…Will.

I am at loss for words. I actually thought this dude was gonna win.

That’s what you get for not voting!

I am trying to find a video of the group performance so I will get that up when it crosses my path.

Based on the bottom two pattern we’ve been seeing and on tonight’s solo performances, I would have to say Mark and Comfort.

My choice is totally objective. I really like these two kids – they have spunk! I am basing it on what’s been going on with the show and on my reaction to the solos.

Will I be right? I guess we’ll find out tomorrow!

Doesn’t Doriana remind you of Stevie Nicks?

There were some minor fumbles here – but they were eclipsed by those intense lifts. The disco routines always make me nervous, they seem like they’re going to be fun, but then it just ends up stressing me out – but the routine captured that mirror-balled essence that made that disco era so much fun – without the drugs of course.

I like this couple. They also make me smile. I think they interest me more in the rehearsal studio.

P.S. Love Chelsie’s side ponytail.

Screw technique, this routine made me smile.

In your face judges! You notice how Mary sounded like a dude when she started her critique?

The couples are really using a lot of props tonight aren’t they?

This was fun!!! Everyone is doing well tonight! I am so proud for each and everyone of them!

As for Twitch and Katee, why didn’t they doing that “four finger shoulder salute” during the routine? And what does that stand for? I’ve been doing it a lot lately. It looks really good on me – but I digress again. The pair of them were sassy and played great characters and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Toni sure is using the term, “street” a lot tonight.