The San Francisco Chronicle will offer at least 125 employees the chance to take a buyout before the end of the year, the company said Friday.

“Obviously, we’re not the first newspaper to be affected by the continuing downturn in advertising,” said Publisher, President and CEO Frank Vega. “We are hopeful that by opting for our employees to voluntarily sign up for buyouts we can avoid any type of layoffs going forward.”

The program is open to all employees who are not represented by a union as well as employees who are represented by the Northern California Media Workers’ Guild.

The company said it would consider accepting more than 125 employees and that it has the right to reject as well as accept applicants. If the reduction goal is not met, the company said, layoffs will be likely.

I thought the SF Chronicle was doing well for themselves. They seem so glamorous and hardcore. But I guess I was wrong! Welcome to the club folks!

One day, in this post-lay off era, I decided to check my messages from my work phone (before they cut it off). Some dude left a message asking if I was interested in being a part of this “reality show” project.

He didn’t leave much information. In fact, he didn’t leave any information at all – only his phone number and a veiled chance for “15-minutes of fame” reality show stardom.

Needless to say, I was intrigued.

I called and he explained that they were starting a reality show that was like “Sex and the City” meets “The Hills” on a major cable television show network – and that’s all he could say.

Now if you dissect his explanation, neither of those shows are “reality.”

Right off the bat, I told him that I hated “The Hills” and that reality show has lost all meaning since the very first “Real World.” I was kind of being annoying and matter-of-factly.

That’s when he said, “That’s why I thought you’d be a good fit – I read an article of yours about reality shows.”

If he read the same reality show bashing article I was thinking of, then I have to admit I was kind of embarrassed. I wrote it a long time ago and it wasn’t exactly representative of my fabulousness today. (click here if you wanna read it.)

Then he said that my name was magically thrown into the hat for this reality show project. From who? He didn’t know.

I was skeptical and captivated all at once. Here I was, talking to some dude based out of L.A. about a show that had a very foggy concept that was going to be on a “major cable television” network that could’ve been Cinemax for all I know (later on, I told my sister about this proposition and she asked if it was porn and I, with a tinge of self-doubt, said no).

He continued this impromptu phone interview asking about my friends, what I did, etc…etc. Don’t worry, no social security numbers or blood types were given out.

He said he would send me an application and asked me to fill it out so we can “move on” with the process. If my application was good enough, I would be asked to be interviewed in a non-invasive setting.

So I filled it out and pondered about this chance at being on a reality show. For one, it could make me look like the biggest slut in the world and then advance my career to be a love-to-hate reality show character. Secondly, it would give me exposure and everyone could be jealous of me because I was on TV. Third, it could possibly be a paying gig!

Then I thought, “No Pulitzer Prize winning novelist was ever on a reality show.”

I was still captivated, but my interest started to wane. I just wanted to know what the fuck this show was about so I sent the “reality show recruiter man” weekly emails asking for updates. He would politely email back saying he couldn’t divulge any information.

Then, one fateful day, I got this email from him:

thanks for checking in. we just had a meeting with the network and we are moving on with other groups. we were so pleased to have you in the mix of our great network of fab san franciscans but sadly we’re going in another direction. i wish you all the best and if anything changes i’ll let you know.

Busted. Either I wasn’t cool enough, or I wasn’t trashy enough. Or maybe I wasn’t dramatic enough. Or maybe I wasn’t scandalous enough. Maybe I was just freaking boring. Also, I think my “old” age of 29 may have been too much for them.

Alas, the reality show I was never on. I felt kind of defeated, but at least I know someone is noticing me.

A couple of days later, while I was at that Sarah Jessica Parker event at Macy’s, someone said, “I heard MTV is doing some sort of ‘Hills’ reality show in the marina in San Francisco – it’s sounds like a really dumb idea.”

Hmmmm…I wonder if it was the one I tried out for. Nonetheless, I either lost an opportunity to be famous or gained more opportunity to protect my integrity.

I am gonna go with the latter.

This week was their “bring the beat” challenge, where the crews had to make “beats” to dance to. Kind of like “Stomp.”

Anyways, here’s my take for tonight. I’ll keep it short.

Fanny Pak: It was fun, quirky, silly and sassy. I liked it. I especially like how those two were boinking between the lockers and the fat boy. Fanny Pak is hot.

So Real: Cool performance, but I don’t understand why the judges love them. They have great choreography, but it seems like they don’t have an element in their bag of tricks that make them the it crew. And I need to say something about that girl who keeps complaining about her parents not supporting her. (warning: I am about to become an asshole – I’ve had a bad day, forgive me) She needs to stop throwing her parents under the bus and just PROVE that she can make this a career – and with this show, she is already doing so. Do you know how many Asian kids aren’t doing what they want because their parents aren’t supporting them? I was one of them and my parents eventually stopped hounding me once I proved that I can do this writing shit as a career. I feel like she’s using this little melodrama to win sympathy points because they keep on regurgitating this shit over and over again. Please – get a real story that has real issues (like being homeless, being deaf, having a dad in a coma). This problem pales in comparison to what other crews on the show are experiencing. Don’t use this cultural conflict as an excuse. Just do it and if your parents don’t support you, it should make you work harder. Stop complaining about it and do your thing. Okay, my rant is done. Bottom line: they were pretty good.

Boogie Bots: It was fun and creative. Funky and they brought some great moves to the stage. They didn’t necessarily “smash” it, but they did put a nice big dent into it. I liked the whole “benchwarmer” idea of the routine and that “Flashdance” reference was top notch.

So the bottom two were Super Cr3w and Supreme Soul…

Something is wrong here. These two crews were far better than anyone else on the show tonight. Like Shane said, people need to vote. I have come to the conclusion people aren’t basing it on talent. It’s become a popularity contest or people are just voting based on the crew that lives closest to them.

Pretty much unfair, but what can you do?

Super Cr3w is really talented and I don’t know why they keep on landing in the bottom. They killed it tonight with their high flying basketball routine. As for Supreme Soul their rank in the bottom is less surprising, but surprising nonetheless. Their position on the show has been oddly erratic. I thought their hockey routine was inventive and trademark SS – but in the end, they had to walk it out – it was very unfortunate.

Ah well, my Bay Area homeboys had to go home – even though they were better than some of the others who weren’t in the bottom two.

Lesson learned: VOTE.

Wow. I felt like a big ol’ blogging asshole tonight. It’s been a long day. I’ll be happier next week. I promise.

All photos are by me of course…

Looks by Virgil Ortiz

A menacing violinist introduces the blindfolded collection…

I love me a nice pair of wide legs on a lady…

Here’s that mink stole by Jonathan David Baker I was gushing about…

Some ethnic flair from Zambia designer, Verona Jane Gordon…

A funky print from L.A. based label, Ja’ire…

A softer, more feminine look from Project Runway alum, Chris March…

I loved this Old Hollywood glamazon diva garment, but I forgot who made it…

And let’s hear it for the children…because they are our future…

I landed a gig on Examiner.com (in case you didn’t catch that link in the SJP post).

I am officially the S.F. Fashion Examiner! Check it out by clicking here!

And make sure you visit often! Doesn’t that picture make me look REALLY vain?

Yes, you heard that right. Last week, the Notorious S.J.P. made it hot at Stoneridge Mall in Pleasanton to meet and greet her fans (and sign bottles of her fragrances) at Macy’s and to promote her fragrances, Lovely, Covet and Covet Pure Bloom

I’m gonna work a little backwards here. First I am gonna show you the pics, and then I am gonna talk about my little one-on-one interview with her before she faced her fans…

Here are some pics of the event…

Fans bust out their digicams and cell cams to take pictures of SJP and post it on their Facebook

A select group of fans who bought bottles of her perfume got to meet her and get an autograph

When I saw this lady go up, it seemed like SJP gave her a nice, consoling therapy session

So fabulous, so personable

Her disco ball-ish Miu Miu heels – How SASSY!

Sex and the City paraphernalia invaded Macy’s in anticipating her arrival

Yes, even soccer dads are fans of SJP. You can so tell that he has been a fan of hers since “Flight of the Navigator.”

Okay, sure SJP may look a little awkward, but check out the girl in the yellow – it looks like she’s giving a somewhat side eye to the girls at the table

As for my interview, she was SO sweet – she even complimented my suit! I felt so cool! I even made a fool of myself and said that I loved her since “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!”

To read my FULL interview with her, visit my NEW S.F. Fashion Examiner page by clicking here! Believe you me – it’s a GREAT interview!

Sep 18 Miami, FL: Waterfront Theatre at the American Airlines Arena
Sep 19 Tampa, FL: Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center
Sep 20 Atlanta, GA: Boisfeuillet Jones Atlanta Civic Center
Sep 21 Clemson, SC: Littlejohn Coliseum
Sep 23 New York, NY: WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden
Sep 25 Boston, MA: Citi Performing Arts Center
Sep 26 Atlantic City, NJ: Adrian Phillips Ballroom
Sep 27 Sewell, NJ: Commerce Bank Arts Centre
Sep 29 Washington, DC: DAR Constitution Hall
Sep 30 Newark, NJ: New Jersey Performing Arts Center
Oct 1 Albany, NY: The Palace Theater
Oct 3 Detroit, MI: Masonic Temple Theatre
Oct 4 Milwaukee, WI: Milwaukee Theatre
Oct 5 Rosemont, IL: Rosemont Theatre
Oct 6 Kansas City, MO: Midland Theatre
Oct 8 Denver, CO: Wells Fargo Theatre
Oct 11 Oakland, CA: Paramount Theatre of the Arts
Oct 12 Los Angeles, CA: Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE
Oct 14 Portland, OR: Rose Quarter – Theater Of The Clouds
Oct 15 Everett, WA: Comcast Arena at Everett Events Center

Hmmmm…I may just go to the one in Oakland.

I ventured to a club in SF (who’s name I will keep hush-hush to save its dignity) for my sister’s birthday. Right of the bat, the DJ sucked. I don’t drink, so the music has to be really good at a club for me to enjoy myself – that and the company. The company was great, but the music was a big pile of doo doo. Sure, I everyone loves a great remix to “Like a Prayer,” but give me some ass jiggling freak nasty music that I can pop my booty to.

Then there was the crowd. Is it wrong that this club was blatantly the hub for unattractive people that evening? And we just happened to take a wrong turn. I mean, my crowd was the hottest group of people in there – with the exception of me. I was kind of busted so maybe I fit in.

Anyways, I don’t know if times have changed since I was a big ol’ club whore, but there were so many girls who looked like they should be wearing clear heels and turning tricks on a brass pole – but that’s just the beginning. The guys were ultimately the winners of unnecessary clothing that night.

I recently read an article in this month’s Details titled “Are You That Guy?”

And when they say that guy, they are referring to that guy – you know, the one who thinks he’s really cool because he puts his kid in Che Guevara shirts and says stuff like “I need my Starbucks ASAP” whilst wearing his shirt half tucked and a pair of Crocs.

This had to be one of the best pieces ever written in the mag. It basically defined 90 percent of the guys at the club. From the list of “that guy” annoying antics in the article (click the link above to read it), I spotted these while I was at the club:

- Fist bumps
- The phrase, “My Bad” was used
- People outside of the club offering money for a cigarette
- A wardrobe that consists of a “going out shirt” and “fancy” sneakers
- Guys who thought Hayden Panettiere is hot (okay, this may not have been an obvious “that guy” giveaway at the club, but I could picture SO many guys in the club saying this accompanied with a fist bump.)
- I am SURE there were guys in that club who would claim that they didn’t know who Spencer Pratt is
- Guys with half-tucked shirts
- White dudes with a tattoo in Asian lettering
- There was a rampant Bluetooth epidemic

There were a couple of things left off of this list that I would like to add on. Hopefully the Details editor will casually stumble upon this blog and say, “Hey! This guy is good! He needs to be writing for us!”

But here are some things that I saw last night that need to be added on to this “that guy” list:

- Guys who wear sunglasses inside a dark club – or indoors in general
- Guys who wear really ugly fedoras which don’t make them look dapper, but like a Cuban drug lord
- Groups of guy friends that look like a male version of Destiny’s Child, wearing the same thing but in different variations (i.e. boot cut denim, “fashion” sneakers, and vintage fit screenprint tees).
- Guys with huge unnecessary belt buckles, like a skull or something obnoxiously novel
- Guys who wear wife beaters and paper boy caps
- Guys who mouth the words to every single song that the lame DJ plays and makes overly-animated facial expressions whilst doing so

I am sure I am missing some characteristics, but you get the picture in who “that guy” is…

I did have a good time last night because it was a great opportunity to people watch and to witness my cousin’s gal pal almost get into a fight TWICE – once with a dude. She is gangsta.

From here on out, I am approaching these rare club going trips as anthropological studies.

But there was one thing that made this club well worth my time. As the designated driver, I had to drive my sister and brother-in-law home. I was overjoyed when, out of no where, my sister mumbled from the backseat to pull over so that she could throw up. And while doing so, the song “Weak” by SWV was playing.

It was the end to the most eventful evening I had in a while…Happy Birthday sister!

But yes, I did some work. I interviewed Project Runway alum, Nick Verreos! He was unbelievably nice, funny and very chatty – which made the interview so fun. And he was wearing some intense metallic Ferragamo lace-ups. But I’ll have more on the interview and event later.

In the meantime, enjoy this picture of Nick and me…

No, that’s not a ghost in the pic and the lens isn’t smudged. It’s smoke from a cigarette that the camera man was smoking. We couldn’t take another pic because Nick was needed onstage right after the pic. It really does look like a ghost is sneaking into the pic- or like some dangerous fumes sneaking their way into the frame, waiting for the perfect moment to kill us. It’s like M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening” except it’s not plants that are silently killing us…it’s…cigarette smoke. Yeah.

Okay, that may be a little harsh. I haven’t had a cig in an hour.

Anyways, this week was the SPED UP CHALLENGE or something. They had to dance to a song that was slow at first and then mix-mastered to a sped up frenzy.

I would start from the beginning, but I just watched Fanny Pack’s ’80s poinsoned prom performance – it was OUTTA CONTROL. THEY KILLED IT.

They killed it so much that they should be arrested for manslaughter.

Ugh. That was a bad analogy. I was just floored by them. I really dig these kids in FP. They are making it hot and showing that not all crew dancin’ has to be hip-hop.

Ummm…as for the others. A.S.I.I.D. tore it up with a hip-hop routine that incorporated ballet point (or is it pointe?) That was H.O.T.

Hmmm…my boys in Super Cr3w did good with their conceptually good golden graf performance, but they need to step up their game. Boogie Bots. And this week, I think So Real had one of their weakest performances yet – it was good, but wasn’t their best.

The bottom two crews were SF homeboys Supreme Soul and Phresh Select (again)…

So I just watched them perform – and SS TORE IT UP!!! That routine was tight like virgin. Then there’s Phresh Select – I wasn’t even enthralled enough to watch it. I think they are going home.

I think Supreme Soul is getting crapped on for no reason – just because they’re cocky, don’t mean they don’t deserve to get the votes. (notice the use of bad grammar to show my anger) Vote on the talent, not on attitude. Then again, maybe they should’ve just not said anything about that battle with Jabba in the first episode.

And let’s just talk about what the hell JC is wearing. He looks like some sort of butler/valet/trying-to-hard-prom-date. And Lil’ Mama continues to showcase her arsenal of bedazzled bedazzlments. And Shane is rockin’ that IRON MAN shirt! That’s FIRE!

But now…who is gonna go home???

PHRESH SELECT’s BANNER MUST FALL!

I wasn’t diggin’ this week’s challenge. It didn’t seem as fun. And I wonder how long it will take for those members of Super Cr3w to wash off that gold paint.