The overproduced and girl-on-girl anthem of 2003 got a bad rep. It wasn’t that horrible. The dance routine in the video was pretty darn cool. I even took time out of my busy unemployed schedule in 2003 to learn the pop dance.

Without a doubt, it is the best song for a workout. As soon as I hear the introductory synthesized vocals of Britney, the adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. It’s like audio steroids.

Oh wow. This song is really lame. What the hell are they talking about?

For those of you who are into drinking games, I have created the best alcohol poisoning activity utilizing America’s Best Dance Crew.

Follow these simple instructions and you will be having fun in no time!

1.) Any time the contestants take a sip from Gatorade (or whatever beverage is sponsoring the show that season) during their rehearsals, chug down half a bottle of Boone’s (any variety will do – Strawberry Hill is always a favorite).

2.) Whenever Mario Lopez charmingly tosses his note card on the stage, take three chugs of Jagermeister.

3.) If anyone on the judging panel says “I appreciate that” or “I respect that” put your mouth on the spout of Franzia and let it run from 20 seconds.

4.) Any time Slater refers to Lil’ Mama as “Mamacita,” take five swigs of MD 20/20.

5.) If J.C. Chasez gets booed, shotgun a can of Natty Light.

6.) When any of the judges want to get into a slo-mo, do a keg stand.

With her latest video directed by Jonas Åkerlund (whose resume includes a slew of Madonna video) there’s a lot goin’ on – and blatant product endorsement. When watching you can spot some Virgin Mobile and Polaroid placements. It makes sense for the latter because Gaga the creative director.

I would’ve been a bit more excited if this video came out earlier. This song has been radio diarrhea for the past couple of months. One thing I can say about Gaga is that I like the way she is making music videos relevant again. This is like her “Thriller”. Besides the lesbionic storyline a la Thelma and Louise and the lovely women’s prison movie vibe, there are a couple of things that deserve our attention…

Honey Bun: It’s Beyonce’s nickname and is the unofficial processed snack food sponsor of the video.

Tyrese: This is his best work since his “Sweet Lady” video.

Jai Rodriguez: The Queer Eye For the Straight Guy “Cultural Specialist” makes a comeback!

The Pussy Wagon: B and Gaga make their getaway in the same automobile that was seen in Kill Bill. For some reason it seems a lot less cooler than when Uma Thurman did it.

You can check out the 9 minute video by clicking here (and it has CURSE WORDS! Very naughty!)

But this is not the first time the Pac-Man gazed over our city like brown-hued Zeus. He was also there a couple of months ago:

How brooding and menacing. It looks like he is ready to kick some ass.

As soon as I saw him in that special edition N98 Nike track jacket with the gold embroidered MP with the trademark Filipino sun (similar to the one he’s wearing in the first pic), I wanted it. I am a sucker for celebrity endorsement. Besides that, I thought I would look really good in it. It would make me look athletic.

It just so happened after work yesterday, my friend Steve texted me and asked if I wanted to meet him at Nike Town. So I thought it would be a good time to buy the jacket.

Finding a size small in any retail store in San Francisco is a difficult task – mainly because nearly every guy here wants a snug fit shirt or jacket to show off their pecs and the sensitivity of their nipples. I just want a small because it fits my puny build. As expected, they did not have my size so it was a colossal fail for me.

In fact, the Janeane Garofalo look-alike salesperson said that the jackets have been selling like crazy and they didn’t even get a shipment of smalls.

As for Steve, he was politely fighting for the last medium jacket with this too-friendly-of-a-guy who was on the phone with his friend asking him if he wanted the said medium jacket. He was a diehard fan. He was walking around in the special edition Nike Pacquiao shoes (which he hadn’t even purchased yet) and was going back-and-forth on whether or not the jacket would fit his friend on the phone.

Steve said, “If your friend doesn’t want it, I’ll take it.”

Diehard Pac-Fan said, “Yeah, I don’t think it will fit him – you want to try it on?”

Steve tried it on and it fit better than the large.

Diehard Pac-Fan said, “It fits you well.”

Steve said, “Yeah, it does.”

Diehard Pac-Fan took the jacket back and continued to talk to his friend. He even brought us over to show us the the Nike shoebox for the special edition kicks. He was getting really excited because the shoebox had an eagle on it.

Steve and I continued to shop and Diehard Pac-Fan came back to us and said “The jacket has a small stain. You want it?”

There was a tiny little black mark near the golden MP on the chest.

“I’ll take it!” Steve said. “I can get rid of the stain – it’s no problem.”

Still on the phone, Diehard Pac-Fan looked at us and then went back to his phone conversation telling his friend on the other end, “Oh- you can easily get rid of the stain.”

He walked off and made his purchases as Steve said, “What a tease!”

Being insistent on finding another medium, Steve asked another employee to see if they had anything in the back. Janeane Garofalo look alike said that there weren’t any more, but he wanted a second opinion.

Lo and behold, the Dave Chappelle look alike came back to us 10 minutes later and said, “This is the LAST medium!” and handed it over to Steve.

He got the unstained one, while Diehard Pac-Fan got the flawed one.

Busted him.

Steve got what he wanted and I had to settle for a $28 T shirt.

Moral of the story: Pacquiao is really watching over us.

Luckily a bunch of relatively unknown musicians from all over the world on YouTube banded together with the power of social networking and clever editing and sound mixing made a remake of their own – and it is ten times more tolerable. Led under Lisa Lavie, this version was more genuine and felt like it meant more. Even though I wasn’t big on remaking the original – I thought this one was pretty darn good:

P.S. There’s a group in there called Lucas Teague – my roommate’s cousin’s band. By the transitive property, I was a part of this musical arrangement and that makes me a musician.

1.) In the flash-sideways, Dr. Linus has an affinity for cardigans and sushi.

2.) Miles is always full of some great zingers!

3.) Iliana is a mean bitch with a heart of gold.

4.) Richard Alpert never ages because he got the “gift” of being touched by Jacob. Whether or not it was inappropriate touching is yet to be determined.

5.) The ship that Richard, Jack and Hurley stumble upon does not have One Eyed Willy on it; therefore it does not have the Goonies treasure.

6.) The slow motion reunion of Hurley, Jack, Sun, Miles and company is so J.J. Abrams. Speaking of – will he be directing an episode anytime soon?

7.) Sun shows some signs of uncleanliness, but still manages to look the most hygienic.

8.) Oceanic Airlines brand bottled water has a long shelf life. Maybe it was touched by Jacob.

9.) Charles Whitmore thinks he is in Hunt For Red October.

10.) You know those previews that they always show for next week’s episode? They don’t tell us a damn thing.

For more on my brilliant observations of Lost click here

As I continue to feed my reluctant obsession with Taylor Swift, I continue to stumble upon things that add kindling to the fire of sugarcoated country pop – and some friends help me along the way.

Within the past couple of months, I have seen her take a crack at comedy on Saturday Night Live, listened to her attempt a duet with Stevie Nicks on the Grammys and watched her in Valentine’s Day.

More recently, I saw Poreotix perform a routine to Taylor’s Love Story on America’s Best Dance Crew which prompted me to learn that song on the guitar. Then, my friend Janet texted me:

I’m in a car and the driver turned it up for taylor swift without me having to ask!

Today, my friend Jeff shared this video with me to help me forget about the fact that I actually needed to do work at my office:

It’s like Taylor Swift…but more gay.

Taylor Swift is like this pop culture virus and as much as I hate to admit it, I am happy to be infected.

If you are not following me on Twitter, then you are probably dying to know what I was Tweeting during the Academy Awards on Sunday night. Well, you’re in LUCK! I have taken the liberty of “print screening” my Twitter page for you (in reverse chronological order of course):

I just realized that you could’ve just visited my Twitter page to read all this. That said, this post is kind of pointless.

Yes, that was MC Lyte (I think).

There’s nothing like running along the Embarcadero whilst listening to a genuine ’90s midriff exposing, gyrating jam – especially if it’s sung by the sultry, breathy whisper of Janet Jackson.