As 9.02.10 comes to a close, let us reflect on the best thing to come from the original Beverly Hills 90210: David Silver.

One of my students (shout out to Gena) spent her entire summer in Paris and before she left, she purchased a gift for me:

Instant A — well, it would’ve been an instant A if she were taking one of my classes this semester instead of last semester. (OK. Total joke. I don’t take bribes…unless it’s a silver suitcase filled with unmarked bills or even a Fry Daddy).

Anyways, these bomb-ass macarons are from (as noted in the picture) Ladurée, a confection destination I fell in love with when I was in Paris last summer:

Please note the fancy packaging of the macarons Gena gave me. My packaging was not as swanky. But it’s what’s inside that counts (but I am saving that fancy box).

Anyways, I got home today and I got this in the mail:

This was from my homeboy Ryan who came and visited a couple of weeks ago. While he was here, we went to another bomb-ass macaron place in Hayes Valley called Paulette which, according to the fancy French lady behind the counter, import their cookie from Ladurée. We bought a dozen of them and he ended up eating them all so this is him paying me back.

He really didn’t need to do this. Actually, he did. He hoarded all of the macarons.

Nonetheless, with these two generous deliveries of macarons, I proclaim this week MACARON WEEK. I wonder if Mayor Gavin Newsom will sign a proclamation for that.

William Ivey Long has an impressive track record when it comes to designing costumes for the divas and divos of the musical stage. He’s won Tony Awards for creating the costumes for “The Producers,” “Hairspray,” “Nine,” “Crazy for You,” “Grey Gardens” and “Young Frankenstein” — and even though the characters’ outfits may be outrageous, he’s as humble as they come.

Adrienne Warren, Syesha Mercado & Moya Angela in “Dreamgirls.” (Photo by Joan Marcus)

“I write a lot of fan letters to my peers,” Long said in a recent phone interview. “I have been sending fan letters to Colleen Atwood!” (Atwood has won Academy Awards for movies like “Chicago” — and it jst so happens that Long designed for the stage revival of the classic musical.

Long has a knack for modernizing the costuming for theatrical chestnuts. Case in point: “Dreamgirls” (at the Curran Theatre through Sept. 26). The Supremes-inspired musical that tells the saga of girl group diva-ology may have broadened its Broadway reach via the movie version with Beyonce, Anika Noni Rose and Jennifer Hudson, but its the stage version that has resonated with theater geeks and pop culture.

The stage musical is definitely a different creature than the movie adaptation — and the fashion is a character in itself. With 465 costumes and 205 wigs that travel with the show, the wardrobe gives nods to some signature designer styles within the story’s timeline. At one point, the ultimate diva character of Effie wears a Missoni-esque print that echoes the ’70s and the girls also sport an “Aladdin goes to the disco” look. But the ultimate costume transformation comes when the girls don voluminous coats that look like vintage Balenciaga and then shed them to reveal glitzy qipaos and then shed those to reveal something that looks like a full body stocking with tons and tons of crystals — much like Britney Spears’ “Oops I Did it Again” bedazzled nude bikini at the MTV Video Music Awards in 2000.

We had the chance to chat with William Ivey Long about the glamorous costumes and why it was good idea that the ’80s were not included in the musical.

Do you think there is a difference between fashion and costume design?

Well, the way I see it — fashion is dreamed up by designers — of what they think they people should wear in a particular moment in time. Costume design is a recreation of different periods. It’s kind of the opposite. It’s very much story-driven — and it’s a service industry (laughs).

How do you correlate costumes with the characters of “Dreamgirls”?

It starts at the beginning. If you look at the period of time, it’s 1964-1978 — that’s 14 years! It’s a rags-to-riches story. When we first see the girls, they take a bus to the Apollo Theater and we see them in the clothes they slept in right off the bus. Then they start to shimmer and shine.

It seems that the character of Effie has the most interesting story arc. How does that translate in her clothes?

The Dreams keep on going “up” with their success. As for Effie, there are many changes in the arc. When you start to follow her story, Effie is really involved in The Dreams. Then her downturn is played off the success of the others. We see them in Motown and then on the up and up in Vegas. You see how all that grows. Effie is the parallel. You see less shine in Effie. When she hits bottom, you see her in earth tones — she’s in street clothes that are in downer colors and are in cotton. You see the beads again when she starts recording — she starts to shimmer and shine.

How do you go about designing for all these memorable eras of fashion?

When you design a period you lived through, you have to research again – memory isn’t good as a source. You were not telling a story through the big picture. I was able to choose my favorite looks from the ’70s as opposed to
stressing the leisure suit. There’s a march of the lapels told through the men’s clothing.

March of the lapels?

Yeah — they are a story in itself. The men’s pants width and size of the (jacket) lapels — by the end of the show they reach vertically. Heel heights are another thing. The ’70s are one of the few periods to do that since Beau Brummel brought the peacock back! They are accentuated to see how it changed.

Click here to read the rest.

Yakult is, according to Wikipedia, “a Japanese probiotic milk-like product made by fermenting a mixture of skimmed milk with a special strain of the bacterium Lactobacillus casei Shirota.” And I guess its mascot (shown above) is some sort of muppet incarnation of the digestive system.

It’s kind of cute, but at the same time it makes me feel uncomfortable — mainly because the homegirl in the commercial seems to be having an intimate relationship with this beady-eyed pink thing.

I mean there’s a difference between loving your insides and loving your insides.

I wonder what happens when they get into a fight. Does the pink thing start spewing out stuff?

Long and Barrymore in ‘Going the Distance’ Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

When I say that Nanette Burstein’s romantic comedy, Going the Distance is a fictional take on long distance relationships – I mean exactly that: it’s fictional. I am not saying that they never work nor am I speaking from first-person experience; I am just saying that everyone I know who has attempted long distance relationships have failed. Some have been messy, others were clean breaks, but all have been wonderful and entertaining to observe because I wasn’t directly involved – just like this movie.

The movie romantically merges the cuteness of the Mac guy (Justin Long) and a Firestarter (Drew Barrymore). They meet in a New York bar while bonding over the greatness of the retro video game, Centipede. They fall head over heels in love with each other and then try to keep their love alive when she has to move to San Francisco and he has to stay in New York. Their bi-coastal romance stays afloat via texting, webcamming, clumsy phone sex trysts and traveling to visit each other on major holidays. Upchuck-worthy jabs of cheesy romance is padded with great comedic stylings from staple rom-com family/friends like Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Christina Applegate and Jim Gaffigan.

A tad bit formulaic and containing just the right amount of raunchy humor (not to mention Barrymore’s signature crooked-mouth endearment), the movie is sweet and tolerable. It gives hope that long distance relationships can work – but please keep in mind it is in a Hollywood setting so don’t get your hopes up (yes, I am that cynical).

Nonetheless, I have taken the freedom to create a list of movie couples and whether or not their love could withstand the obstacles of a long distance relationship.

Follow the jump for the rest of the list…

It looks like jailbait pop star and Kanye’s newest homeboy, Justin Bieber has recently, like many celebrities before him, purchased some insurance on his face. He is now a Proactiv spokesmodel.

This made me think that he was eavesdropping on the interview I was doing with John Waters a couple months back. Not only did he say this comment (it has to do with a park bench and pedophiles), but he also said the following when I asked him about what it takes to be an icon:

There’s no such thing as becoming an icon overnight – an icon means you lasted long. Justin Bieber is not an icon – he’s like Tiffany! I am sure there is a minefield of whiteheads behind his bangs -– but if he’s around in 40 years, he may be an icon.

Perhaps the Proactiv will detonate that minefield and he can grow his bangs all the livelong day.

NBC’s show, The Event doesn’t air until September 20, but lucky for you, I can hook you up. Actually, I don’t have that much power. In fact, I don’t really have any power of that magnitude. I only have the power of teleportation. Nonetheless, NBC has the power to hook you up. They chose San Francisco as one of five cities to give a sneak peek of the new show.

The show is about…well…instead of me trying to describe it, let me just show you a trailer for the show:

Okay. You caught me. I am just too lazy to summarize this in writing — but the trailer explains it SO well. Why ruin something that has already been done better?

In any matter, you can watch the pilot episode before anyone else! Just clear your schedule for Thursday, August 26 at 7:30PM and make your way to the Metreon (101 4th Street, SF) — and make sure you print out the invite! You can download it here. (The invite also has an in-depth synopsis that names all the fancy celebs on the show — including Blair Underwood!)

As an added bonus you can bring a guest AND both of you will get some free popcorn and soda.

Now that is how you hook it up.

The Event [Official Website]

I like how you can add “-pocalypse” to anything and it becomes a revelatory Armageddon-like crisis. For example, remember when there were heaps of snow on the East Coast in February and they called it “Snowpocalypse”? That was kind of cool — but not as cool as the term, “douchepocalypse” which I think originated from How I Met Your Mother.

Nonetheless, I saw the term “heatpocalypse” when I was trying to check into AT&T Ballpark on Foursquare. There was a location called, “Heatpocalypse San Francisco” — which isn’t really a location, but a “state of mind.” Foursquare likes to do these general physical destination-less check-in points a lot.

This “Heatpocaplypse” is, of course, the result of the record breaking heat we were having in the Bay Area today. Seeing that I am from Texas, you would think I am used to this kind of heat. But since I have lived in the Yay Area for almost five years, my tolerance for heat has gone down immensely. When the temperature in the city gets above 80 degrees, I get worried and I break out my maxi dresses and shave my legs.

But yeah, it was HELLA-hot today. I felt greasy. And being in an office that lacks air conditioning isn’t that comfortable.

While I was walking around in the heat of the city, I was humming “Heatwave” quite loudly. In turn, it made me think about the time when Kimberley Locke performed it on the second season of American Idol and Simon said it reminded him a Burger King commercial.

Too bad that part isn’t in this video:

There’s a part in The Switch where Wally (Jason Bateman) has to procure a head lice situation with his artificially/illegitimately inseminated son Sebastian (Thomas Robinson).

It’s probably the best part of the entire movie – that and the tormented cuteness of Robinson’s portrayal of Sebastian.

But let’s rewind just a little bit to paint a picture how this whole situation came to be.

As said, Wally is Sebastian’s father, but Wally is the only one who knows. Not even his BFF Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) knows – and she’s the mother of Sebastian as a result of what she thinks is an artifical insemination from a source that comes in the form of the pearly white blue bloodness of Roland (Patrick Wilson). But in a drunken stupor during Kassie’s “Inseminate Me” party, Wally dumps Roland’s “specimen” down the sink and replaces them with his own (with stimulating help from Diane Sawyer.) Thus sets the foundation for a comedy of romantic confusion and paternal enlightenment.

Considering the movie based on the Jeffrey Eugenides short story was promoted with the words, “From the guys who brought you Juno and Little Miss Sunshine” you would think that you’d be in for a similar ride – but this is not necessarily the case. Juno and Little Miss Sunshine gave us something new and refreshing with its snarky attitude and quirky presentation. The Switch has a hint of those traits, but it also continues this trend of rearranging the way we look at the romantic comedy. I mean, come on – switching baby batter to an unsuspecting best friend? You can’t get any more progressive and “modern” than that. You are bound for hilarity when something like that happens. Throw in Bateman and mix in Aniston and you got yourself something pretty good. Bateman is talented and funny and Aniston is (despite what the general “she’s not with Brad Pitt” public thinks) is pretty and funny. And let’s not forget Patrick Wilson and Jeff Goldblum (who plays Wally’s buddy Leonard). Both add two varieties of douchey wit and splendor that will make you gleam. Wilson’s Roland is the kind of guy who would constantly give you a thumbs up and accompanying winks while Goldblum’s Leonard is the wise-ass womanizing friend that everyone wants.

Directed by Blades of Glory boys Josh Gordon & Will Speck and adapted by Allan Loeb, the movie puts up a smoke screen that makes us think that the story has more to do more with Wally and Kassie – but it has more to do with Wally and Sebastian. Thank God for that. I love a unconventional romantic comedy, but there’s only so much “he said/she said/I’m progressive/you’re hip/we live in Manhattan” love stories I can take. Instead we see Wally go on the classic path of the self-centered single person that rises to the challenge and finds himself within a too-smart-for-his-own-good child. Even though this kind of story is regurgitated, it works in this capacity because it doesn’t shove the idea down your throat. Modern, working men of 2010 can actually relate to Wally – at least all the cynical and single guys who put work before anything can. The paternal relationship can shamelessly make you misty-eyed and make you laugh – and how could you not smile with the puppy-dog eyes of Sebastian? He not only looks the part of a WebMD obsessed child who let’s out a Linus-worthy sigh every 15 minutes, but he acts it well too.

The father-son dynamic is indeed the emotional core of the movie and makes it worthwhile. The use of Diane Sawyer as self-pleasuring literature also makes the movie worthwhile – because it’s funny and kind of immature.

Thank God. Every day I pray that someone would create something like this so that I can hide my shameful cleavage that is exposed when I wear my low cut tops.

I love how it comes in a variety of colors — because everyone could use a SPLASH of color to an outfit. Now we will no longer have the problem of the titty ball cleavage epidemic — because no one wants to see that.