Immediately after watching Ralph Feinnes Shakespeare-to-screen film, Coriolanus, I thought, “I kind of liked Maid in Manhattan better. I am totally joking…kind of.

As I was talking with a fellow movie writer about the film, he was commenting on how the movie wasn’t that great. He was venting about how it is so difficult and sometimes a mistake to try to adapt Shakespeare to a modern times as the film did. My response was, “I thought the film was pretty.”

Nonetheless, as I was trolling the internet, I came across a review of the movie by Matt Bochenski from a UK-based site called Little White Lies. Seeing as though the movie is rich with UK “style” and actors, I thought his review would be ideal to discuss. Also, Matt was one of the only ones didn’t contribute to the movie’s “certified freshness” on RottenTomatoes.com. His pull quote featured on the site said the following:

No more Shakespeare until we agree it needs to be translated into real English, please.

This is almost EXACTLY what my fellow movie writer was saying. The archaic language makes Shakespeare movies very difficult to digest.

Matt’s review uses this as the core of his opinion — and a strong opinion it is. He even goes to say that “…there’s no place for William Shakespeare in cinema.” That is a tad extreme, but I do see the validity in his rant. If you’re going to do Shakespeare, DO SHAKESPEARE. Do it in the appropriate time period. Make it a period piece. (let’s hope that Carlo Carlei’s upcoming adaptation of Romeo and Juliet follows this rule).

If someone does a modern-day interpretation of a Shakespeare play, make it exactly that: an interpretation. 10 Things I Hate About You did it with Taming of the Shrew and it turned out to be the most AWESOME movie. Or if people must insist on doing a word-for-word adaptation of a Shakespeare play — do it in a hyper-reality. Make it a fantasy that distracts us from the archaic language. Julie Taymor did it with Titus and Baz Luhrmann catered to the MTV generation with his music video take on Romeo + Juliet. They weren’t the greatest movies, but they did manage to make us visually happy.

Matt goes on to talk about the “dull drone of a dead language” and the movie’s plot, which I got lost in because I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell they were talking about. In other words, the movie will make many feel dumb and stroke the egos of those who love to hang on Shakespeare’s nuts.

And so Coriolanus unfolds in agonising monologues as the savagely patrician General wins and loses the support of the citizenry in a time of crisis, turns traitor and is in turn betrayed for his sins.

So basically, some big-time general gets hated on by the people of Rome during war time; then gains their love; then loses their respect; then gets banished; then meets up with Rome’s enemy; then joins their side, making him a traitor and then eventually gets (spoiler alert) killed by the enemy. All of this and we are treated to the screen presence of Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Cox, Jessica Chastain, and Gerard Butler.

Good Lord, typing that explanation gave me an aneurysm.

Matt goes on to say:

The problem is that Fiennes has failed to inject one of the Bard’s most talky texts with any cinematic impetus. On stage, all that posturing, that capital-A acting – that fucking monologuing – may well be spellbindingly powerful. But cinema is, well, many things but it’s not a stage – it doesn’t reward impassivity and grandstanding. And it especially doesn’t reward it in what is, essentially, a foreign language.

That’s some prolific writing there.

I do get what Mr. Bochenski is saying here. Sure, the script for this movie was groomed for an “actor” — it IS Shakespeare. But it was written for stage, not screen and perhaps this kind of language should stay on the stage. Fiennes deserves a round of applause for his directing skills and all of the actors acted the shit out of this movie, but too bad it was a movie whose language has as much significance as an Discman in 2012.

Coriolanus is currently playing in select theaters and opens in wider release on Friday

With the reaping right around the corner, the new trailer for The Hunger Games gives us a taste of more EXCITEMENT! Actually, there’s really nothing new. There’s no new footage accept for a focus on the mockingjay pin. Nonetheless, I am squealing with delight on the inside. I am such a teenage girl when it comes to this movie.

This new trailer is wonderful and all, but this one is still my absolute favorite:

If you can name which Wes Anderson movies each of these shots are from, then you are a really good person.

I am seriously thinking of creating a “money shot” montage.