The first movie I screened for 2012 was Angelina Jolie‘s In the Land of Blood and Honey…and it was quite an intense experience to start the new year. I kind of wish I would have started with something a little lighter…like Joyful Noise or something else that put a vacant smile on my face. Instead, I got slammed with a case of the Debbie Downers via Angie’s directorial debut about a destined-for-doom love story set to the dissonant tune of the Bosnian War in the 1990s.

In the Land of Blood and Honey starts with an artist named Ajla (Zana Marjanovic) going on what seems to be a blind date with a police officer named Danijel (Goran Kostić). They are sharing a special romantic moment in a night club when it all of sudden gets bombed. Fast forward four months later and they are neck deep in the Bosnian War where genocide is taking place. Ajla gets abducted and is hauled off to a camp that is overseen by — you guessed it — Danijel. From there, lots of things happen. Things that are hard to digest. Women get raped and humiliated. Men are treated like game and shot by Danijel’s vile band of soldiers. Their world has turned into a wasteland of debris and war-torn hell.

Even when Danijel tries to protect Ajla by hiring her as his personal painter, their relationship is a toxic hybrid of Revolutionary Road and Romeo and Juliet proportions and it is so difficult to find the warmth because you’re on the edge of your seat waiting for something bad to happen. Based on what is going on around them, nothing good can come of their relationship. Nothing. At. All. It’s not exactly a story that to commence my year of moviegoing — but the movie does deliver in terms of cinematic panache and storytelling.

I saw a headline in the “San Francisco Bay Guardian” for an early review of Blood and Honey and it read, “Sorry, Haters! Angelina Jolie’s In the Land of Blood and Honey does not suck.” Rightfully so. I know that people are DYING to rip apart the Goodwill Ambassador’s work with a passion. But the truth of the matter is that she handled the material with an even hand. Angie (who also served as the movie’s screenwriter) had a vision and committed to it. In some ways, the English-subtitled movie is an anti-war anthem and in other ways it’s an anti-love story. From all angles, it tells a very enriching tale that turn your smile upside down. Zana Marjanovic brings a vulnerable yet strong presence to the screen as the damaged Ajla while Goran Kostic, with his waify Daniel Craig stance, has a stone-faced, conflicted demeanor. Both give emotional girth to Blood and Honey and provide the chops needed for a poignant movie of war and the toll it takes on humanity. Still, I wouldn’t have disagreed to watching something with a bit more levity to start my 2012.

In the Land of Blood and Honey opens in select theaters today.

If you’ve seen Angelina Jolie in Wanted, Mr. & Mrs Smith, Gone in 60 Seconds and even Kung Fu Panda, then you probably already know Evelyn Salt, the title character of Jolie’s latest film, Salt where she continues to use her skills as a sexy run-as-fast-as-you-can femme fatale to manhandle men and fire a gun with dead-stare precision.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong at all.

Salt is cut from the same cloth as the Bourne movies, except it’s a lot less captivating and a tad predictable. The core of the story revolves around Evelyn, a CIA agent who finds out that she is a Russian spy – and she didn’t even know it! It’s like Punk’d with a Cold War twist!

It all starts in the very beginning of the movie when Salt is being brutally interrogated by a bunch of unpleasant North Korean soldiers. That pretty much sets the stage for the aforementioned spy guessing game that is interrupted with chase scenes involving jumping from highway overpasses and low-wattage fisticuffs. This is all filler for the first half of the movie as we constantly ask “Is she or is she not a spy?” Then you figure it out. Then something happens. Then you ask yourself again, “Is she or is she not a spy?” Even her CIA homeboys are confused. Ted (Liev Schreiber) gives her sympathy votes and trusts that all of this is a misunderstanding. Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor), the follow-the-rules, protocol boy trusts what he sees with his own two eyes – and what he sees is that Salt is a big ol’ untrustworthy spy.

I can see the relevance of this film that is painted with espionage-infused paranoia and Manchurian Candidate-esque panache – but walking in this movie with the expectations of it being a mindless action-packed movie with partial nudity probably wasn’t a good idea.

As you read, I mentioned The Manchurian Candidate. That was an attempt for me to sound really cool, smart and cinematically douchey. What I meant to say was that Salt has a very thoughtful political parallel that someone else can tell you. I didn’t pay attention enough because I didn’t care. I was too busy waiting for Angelina to kick ass or impress me with the bravado of an intense scene of sobbing. The most memorable scene in the movie for me was when she showcased some snazzy MacGyver skills by building a rocket launcher out of a desk chair, table leg and fire extinguisher…and when she donned a wig in the final scenes that made her look like Ralph Macchio circa 1984. That should show you how much I took away from the movie.

- And there’s no other way to celebrate an H&M collabo by suing your mom. Yes, we’re talking to you Tamara Mellon.

- Angelina Jolie is slated to play Patrizia Reggiano in Ridley Scott’s Gucci movie. No complaints here.

- Need another way to obsess about Michelle Obama’s fashion sense? Well, today is your lucky day.

- Lady Gaga and Beyonce do a collabo. The world vomits pleasure.

- Apparently fashion had a good time when they had a night out in September that they are going to do it again. In 2010. Don’t worry, they have plenty of time to plan.

- Natalie Portman gets crunk about being a vegetarian.

- …then she and Padma Lakshmi talk about putting pricks on their tongue on Top Chef.

- The Bay Bridge snafu may leave commuters frustrated, but what about the car that actually got whipped by the falling cable?

- THANK GOD. It’s about time someone made a movie about the Chippendales.

- Can Sergei Sviatchenko be the new Internet dandy? I think so.

- Danny Roberts’s Coco Rocha pumpkin. The best Halloween decoration. Ever.

- Adam Lambert + new album cover = Poison circa Look What the Cat Dragged In

- Just make sure you don’t confuse his new album cover with Rihanna’s.

- But all this pales in comparison to the new pop sensation, Subtle Sexuality.

- DJ Hero hits game consoles and all Jay-Z can talk about is pizza.