Please notice Eli Manning’s hand placement in this picture.

Now that we got that out of the way, the Super Bowl tweets were popping up like boners at a slow dance at a junior high prom. The tweets were possibly even in more abundance (and more entertaining) than that of the Oscars or the Golden Globes. The topics of choice were Eli Manning’s facial expressions, Tom Brady’s hot wife, Madonna’s half time World Peace extravaganza, and, of course, Clint Eastwood.

It was kind of difficult to find tweets about the SAG Awards last night. I don’t think many people tweet about them because the award statuette is scary. It has no face. NO. FACE. It’s like The Blank from Dick Tracy.

Anyways, I did manage to round up some REALLY good reactions from some of my favorite tweeters. Since The Help received so many awards, it got a lot of attention…as it should have.

I accidentally woke up at 5:15 a.m. this morning and thought I would just stay up and watch the grand announcement of Oscar nominations by Jennifer Lawrence (a.k.a. Katniss Everdeen) and A.M.P.A.S. President Tom Sherak.

I fell asleep five minutes later.

I woke up about two hours later and read the nominations. I automatically recognized a couple of snubs: Young Adult, Drive, Adventures of Tintin, and 50/50.

I had a brief “WHAT AN OUTRAGE!” fist-in-the-air moment and then I remembered something more important: what cereal to eat for breakfast. Here are the categories that normal people care about (to read the entire list of nominations, click here):

Actor in a Leading Role

• Demián Bichir in “A Better Life”
• George Clooney in “The Descendants”
• Jean Dujardin in “The Artist”
• Gary Oldman in “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”
• Brad Pitt in “Moneyball”

Actor in a Supporting Role

• Kenneth Branagh in “My Week with Marilyn”
• Jonah Hill in “Moneyball”
• Nick Nolte in “Warrior”
• Christopher Plummer in “Beginners”
• Max von Sydow in “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

Actress in a Leading Role

• Glenn Close in “Albert Nobbs”
• Viola Davis in “The Help”
• Rooney Mara in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”
• Meryl Streep in “The Iron Lady”
• Michelle Williams in “My Week with Marilyn”

Actress in a Supporting Role

• Bérénice Bejo in “The Artist”
• Jessica Chastain in “The Help”
• Melissa McCarthy in “Bridesmaids”
• Janet McTeer in “Albert Nobbs”
• Octavia Spencer in “The Help”

Animated Feature Film

• “A Cat in Paris” Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli
• “Chico & Rita” Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal
• “Kung Fu Panda 2″ Jennifer Yuh Nelson
• “Puss in Boots” Chris Miller
• “Rango” Gore Verbinski

Directing

• “The Artist” Michel Hazanavicius
• “The Descendants” Alexander Payne
• “Hugo” Martin Scorsese
• “Midnight in Paris” Woody Allen
• “The Tree of Life” Terrence Malick

Music (Original Score)

• “The Adventures of Tintin” John Williams
• “The Artist” Ludovic Bource
• “Hugo” Howard Shore
• “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” Alberto Iglesias
• “War Horse” John Williams

Music (Original Song)

• “Man or Muppet” from “The Muppets” Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
• “Real in Rio” from “Rio” Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

• “The Descendants” Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
• “Hugo” Screenplay by John Logan
• “The Ides of March” Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
• “Moneyball” Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin Story by Stan Chervin
• “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” Screenplay by Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan

Writing (Original Screenplay)

• “The Artist” Written by Michel Hazanavicius
• “Bridesmaids” Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
• “Margin Call” Written by J.C. Chandor
• “Midnight in Paris” Written by Woody Allen
• “A Separation” Written by Asghar Farhadi

Best Picture

• “The Artist” Thomas Langmann, Producer
• “The Descendants” Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, Producers
• “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” Scott Rudin, Producer
• “The Help” Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, Producers
• “Hugo” Graham King and Martin Scorsese, Producers
• “Midnight in Paris” Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, Producers
• “Moneyball” Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, Producers
• “The Tree of Life” Nominees to be determined
• “War Horse” Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers

Nonetheless, I scoured Twitter to see what people had to say about this year’s nominations. They are definitely more arousing than the nominations themselves:

I have now found what I shall be reading for the rest of the day. (I’m kind of a slow reader, so this will be very time consuming).

[Source: Vulture and Downton Abbeyonce, naturally]

So there are talks of a Bridesmaids sequel without the Kristen Wiig. I am pretty sure I heard a collective grown around the world when this news was announced. It’s not the fact that Kristen Wiig won’t be involved, but it’s the fact that this idea exists. Did we not learn anything from The Hangover Part II? What about that heinous pile of dookie known as Sex and the City The Movie Part II. Then there was Teen Wolf Too!…actually, I kind of liked that one. SURVEY SAYS: BAD IDEA

The Hollywood cookie cutter machine is hard at work with yet another remake. This time, Boys Don’t Cry director Kimberly Peirce is circling a Carrie redux. Based on the caliber of Peirce’s work, I actually don’t mind this collaboration. She can definitely elevate this classic movie based on the Stephen King novel. She definitely won’t turn it into remake mess like that of A Nightmare on Elm Street. SURVEY SAYS: GOOD IDEA

The “Shit Girls Say” trope has been pillaging the Internet and the parody of a parody, “Shit White Girls Say…to Black Girls” by Franchesca Ramsey has probably popped up on your Facebook timeline more than once today. I am sure that MANY of your friends claimed to be the first one to discover it — but let it be known that I was the first one to discover it. SURVEY SAYS: GOOD IDEA

On New Year’s Eve, you will usually hear me saying something like, “I don’t care for New Year’s Eve anymore. That’s why I don’t go out.” That translates to: “I don’t do anything because I am lazy, boring, and being in crowds makes me feel awkward, creeped out and makes me pee in my pants a little.”

This year was a little different because of my adoration for Twitter. In addition to my brilliant tweets on Saturday, my introduction to 2012 shall forever be remembered because of these tweets:

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!

Happy Endings is by far my favorite new show of 2011…even though it isn’t necessarily BRAND NEW. Currently in its second season, Happy Endings is one of those show which I flocked to late in the game. The snappy writing, appropriate inappropriateness, the witty quips, and approachable pop culture references make the show a stand-out and, more importantly, entertaining.

The genuinely cool-because-they-aren’t-tabloid-fodder actors Elisha Cuthbert, Eliza Coupe, Zachary Knighton, Adam Pally, Damon Wayans Jr., and Casey Wilson play a group of friends in their thirties created from the brain of David Caspe. When two of the friends, Alex (Cuthbert) and Dave (Knighton) break up on their wedding day, the group is put in a tug-o-war situation — too bad that story is regurgitated and, in all honesty, a little lame. Thank God they decided to move on from that almost immediately.

The rest of the series is just about their thirtysomething lives as they try to make it in “the big city”. It’s more clever than Friends and moves at a more tolerable rapid fire pace than How I Met Your Mother. Plus, one of the main characters is black (Wayans) and another is gay (Pally) — because we all know that the crew from Friends and H.I.M.Y.M. stick to their own kind. That’s not a judgment. I know it’s just a choice of theirs.

In any matter, their urban adventures are about nothing and everything all at once. From buying your first home to suburban housesitting to connecting with “cool and popular” teenage girls to creating low-budget commercials for your food truck, the crew from Happy Endings can provide a gay ol’ time…and I guarantee that it is not one of the shows that says “The city is a CHARACTER on the show!” That kind of bullshit makes me vomit.

Read more of my “Best of 2011″ list here.

SF Sketchfest has announced their lineup and it is quite fantastic if I do say so myself. Celebrating it’s 11th year, the San Francisco Comedy Festival will be honoring Eddie Izzard and the Upright Citizens Brigade. In addition, this year’s roster is filled with some top-notch performers that will spread joy, hilarity and possibly some awesomely offensive humor to the great city of San Francisco. Performers include Drew Carey, Jennifer Coolidge, David Cross, Rachel Dratch, Chris Elliott, Will Forte, Elliott Gould, John Hodgman, Sally Kellerman, Marc Maron, Bruce McCulloch, Christopher Meloni, Laraine Newman, Bob Odenkirk, Amy Poehler, Paul Rudd, Molly Shannon, John Slattery, Kevin Smith, Reggie Watts, Fred Willard, The Groundlings, the geeks behind w00tstock, as well as the creators of Wet Hot American Summer.

The event starts January 19 and continues through February 4, 2012. Over the 17 nights, comedians will invade over 15 venues around the city.

Check out the FULL SCHEDULE by visiting www.sfsketchfest.com and get your tickets while the gettin’ is good. (Translation: Get them before they sell out). Tickets range from $10 to $75.

In the meantime, check out this little video just because it is fancy…and there’s animated blimps!

More info about SF Sketchfest:

SF Sketchfest, co-founded and directed by David Owen, Cole Stratton and Janet Varney, produces the eclectic San Francisco Comedy Festival, an internationally-recognized and critically-acclaimed event that mixes major comedy stars and the best up-and-coming comedians from around the world for three weeks of sketch, improv, stand-up, alternative comedy, films, tributes and panel discussions. SF Sketchfest offers its audiences the rare opportunity to see their favorite performers in intimate live performances and discussions.

In past years, SF Sketchfest has featured renowned comedy artists such as: Aziz Ansari, Fred Armisen, Dan Aykroyd, Dana Carvey, Margaret Cho, Zach Galifianakis, Monty Python’s Terry Jones, Conan O’Brien, Amy Poehler, Paul Reubens, Amy Sedaris, Garry Shandling, Robin Williams and “Weird Al” Yankovic. The festival has also hosted film and television stars: Will Arnett, Candice Bergen, Dick Cavett, Bud Cort, Danny DeVito, Jon Hamm, Neil Patrick Harris, Cloris Leachman, Jason Segel and Gene Wilder; ensemble comedy groups Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, Mystery Science Theater 3000, The State and the Upright Citizens Brigade; and musical guests David Byrne, Gordon Gano, Aimee Mann and Michael Penn.

Venues include: The California Academy of Sciences, The Castro Theatre, Cobb’s Comedy Club, The Dark Room, The Eureka Theatre, Hemlock Tavern, Marines’ Memorial Theatre, Mezzanine, The Palace of Fine Arts Theatre, The Punch Line Comedy Club, The Purple Onion, The Regency Ballroom, Roxie Theater, Yoshi’s Oakland and Yoshi’s San Francisco.

SF Sketchfest welcomes back returning sponsors SF Weekly, Sheridon Keith Design & Photography, Adult Swim, Sara Holt, CidLang Media, PS Print, StreamSend and Rooftop Comedy.

As we all know, Lenny Kravitz will be playing the visionary soft-spoken stylist Cinna to Jennifer Lawrence‘s Katniss in the HIGHLY anticipated The Hunger Games.

The following video doesn’t have anything to do with that, BUT it’s quite entertaining. Watch Lenny go H.A.M. as he gets angry at things such as traffic, linoleum, and walnuts:

[Source: Vulture, Funny or Die]

Hall Pass is one of those movies where you watch the trailer and say, “That looks like its going to be funny.” The operative key words in that sentence arelooks like.

That said, upon walking into the theater for the screening, I was told that it was a Farrelly Brothers movies and my hopes kind of sank. Don’t get me wrong — I enjoyed There’s Something About Mary and — well — that’s about it.

Nonetheless, I gave it a shot.

The movie has a great cast: Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Jenna Fischer, and Christina Applegate. The four of them make up two couples Wilson & Fischer play Rick & Maggie and Applegate & Sudeikis play Fred & Grace. Rick and Fred are immature middle-aged men who are bored with the married life and Maggie and Grace want them to grow up. With the advice from their all-knowing friend Dr. Lucy (a breakthrough performance by Joy Behar), they make a bold move and give their husbands a hall pass — a break from marriage. What ends up happening is a test of loyalty and self-discovery for each individual. At times its funny, other times it’s not. Above all, it has spurts of LOL moments that are quickly diffused with boredom.

The bullet points below may have spoilers, but it’s for your own good. Consider this a map of things that you may or may not be required to laugh at during your viewing (if you choose to watch it) of Hall Pass:

- The horrendously poor Photoshop work performed on Rick and Maggie’s photo memorabilia.
- The phrase “Pound the potato.”
- Christina Applegate and Jenna Fischer’s tan job. They look like beautiful rotisserie chickens under the heat lamp at Safeway.
- The hidden camera scene where Fred & Rick spout out some brilliant lines about the douchiest family ever created in cinema.
- Every single scene with Sudeikis.
- The annoying psycho barista boy that looks like a hobbit. Making his scenes and “story arc” extra long was a great idea.
- The gratuitous full-frontal penis scene. One is big. One is small. All of it is funny, right?
- Fred and Rick’s band of buddies played by Larry Joe Campbell, Stephen Merchant, and J.B. Smoove. All of them were underused — especially Merchant.
- Fake chow.
- Referring to a busted looking girl as Chief from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest deserves a “potato pound.”
- I think Fred and Rick’s old-but-cool friend Coakley (Richard Jenkins) was supposed to be funny. I think. Not too sure yet.
- Boobs.
- Cougars always provide a good punchline — because that never gets old. Never.
- An explosive scene of the bowel movement persuasion never fails to bring magic to a movie.

Hall Pass opens in theaters today.