In a ambitious (and kinda desperate) attempt to make it big, a guy named Michael is soliciting his design services to make Sandra Bullock’s gown for the Academy Awards. In fact, he wants to make her the “belle of the ball”. The homeboy has even made a spec dress now and is holding an open call for Sandra look-alikes so that he can do a photo shoot that will hopefully get sent to Sandra.

Now that’s dedication…with a dash of neurosis.

Sure, it’s a tad desperate, but you got to hand it to big Mike – the kid’s got balls. I mean, when you have nothing, you have nothing to lose, right?

Furthermore – Sandra might jump on this because we all know what magic Craigslist can bring to a person’s life – and I’m not just talkin’ about those m4m rendezvous.

I’m actually curious to see what will happen…

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While doing my daily scan of “missed connections” on Craigslist, I saw this one and I just HAD to share it with the world:

aloha fest san francisco – m4m

checking each other out.
making hand motions for bj and jo and stroking
me: tan jacket, black tshirt, red checkered shorts, flip, blk hair
you: orange polo shirt, jeans, not sure of your ethinicity (sorry) brown hair
hit me up

What. The. Hell.

In this particular public argument, two people go at it with such fervor:

dear asshole checkout boy at rainbow grocery. – m4m (mission district)

i waited the extra 10 minutes to get in your line because you kept staring at me. you were pretty cute, even after i noticed your love handles. i was purchasing some pretty expensive herbs and probiotics because i have been sick lately and they are the only thing that make me feel better. i came in specifically on thursday because of the 20% off coupon. i forgot my coupon this morning the rush out of my house. i asked if i really need the coupon because i had forgotten it. you responded with the most snide and eat shit “yeah” i think i have ever heard. thank you for being so fucking rude and not swiping that coupon you have on top of your register for me. you owe me $15. i’m a poor student. that could have fed me for a day. thank you for putting a damper on my morning. i hope the rest of your day is plagued with extremely annoying new wave burning man hippies and that your line never ends.

my favorite line from abfab: “you can drop the attitude. you just work in a shop.”

…and then someone answers:

Dear Rainbow Grocery Shopper – m4m (mission district)

Rainbow Grocery is expensive! What the hell is a cheap-skate “poor student” doing shopping there? Methinks you’re more upset that he didn’t slip you his number than you are about the $15.

I’m hoping you’re not majoring in English.

…then it gets GOOD:

Re: dear asshole checkout boy at rainbow grocery. – m4m

You’re the poor, whiny candy ass who can’t even afford to get by in this town and you’re criticizing ME? A student huh? Well for being so supposedly “youthful and slender” you look pretty lousy. Here I thought Clay Aiken was the ugliest gay guy under 30.

Perhaps you’d be a happier more contented and less lonely person if you went straight? Stop stalking me at work! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

At least I can support myself and don’t ask for handouts. I don’t just work there I own a piece of the store genius. I also don’t stalk people as you obviously do.

Some of this doesn’t even make sense which makes it even more enjoyable…and I don’t think that it’s only 2 people. I am so tempted to go hang out at Rainbow Grocery just to see this kind of action.

Today I found this one:

Question: What does “dickpainter” mean? – m4m (castro / upper market)

Someone called me a dickpainter the other night. What does that mean? I met a cute guy and we almost went home together but his friend, whom I hooked up with before talked with him and he came back and said he changed his mind and said he wasn’t into dickpainters. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I don’t know what it means, but based on this video, I think it was a compliment:

I really do not know how to feel about that video.