But I do admit, the inner plastic-faced Joan Rivers in me enjoys it.

Sure, Kellan Lutz knew how to work the crowd, but it was Ashley Greene who had a lockdown on the style. Sorting some dangerously chic Jimmy Choo over-the-knee black boots lined with “don’t fuck-with-me” grommets and an equally intense Gryphon jacket stamped with hardware decolletage.

Look at those Choos

Here’s Greene sportin’ the Gryphon coat:

And here’s the coat in question:

She definitely knows how to work that feminine tough girl look. It’s very good-girl-gone-bad. And I do have to ask this one burning question: Alice in the Twilight movies has short hair and they just wrapped Eclipse. This makes me believe one of two things: 1.) Her hair grows at a freakishly accelerated pace or 2.) She is wearing a weave, wig or some sort of hair piece.

I am going to go with the latter.

Nonetheless, she was absolutely stunning in person. Her beauty made me feel ugly. Like I said before, I just wanted to stare at her face the entire evening.

Creepy, I know.

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

- And there’s no other way to celebrate an H&M collabo by suing your mom. Yes, we’re talking to you Tamara Mellon.

- Angelina Jolie is slated to play Patrizia Reggiano in Ridley Scott’s Gucci movie. No complaints here.

- Need another way to obsess about Michelle Obama’s fashion sense? Well, today is your lucky day.

- Lady Gaga and Beyonce do a collabo. The world vomits pleasure.

- Apparently fashion had a good time when they had a night out in September that they are going to do it again. In 2010. Don’t worry, they have plenty of time to plan.

- Natalie Portman gets crunk about being a vegetarian.

- …then she and Padma Lakshmi talk about putting pricks on their tongue on Top Chef.

- The Bay Bridge snafu may leave commuters frustrated, but what about the car that actually got whipped by the falling cable?

- THANK GOD. It’s about time someone made a movie about the Chippendales.

- Can Sergei Sviatchenko be the new Internet dandy? I think so.

- Danny Roberts’s Coco Rocha pumpkin. The best Halloween decoration. Ever.

- Adam Lambert + new album cover = Poison circa Look What the Cat Dragged In

- Just make sure you don’t confuse his new album cover with Rihanna’s.

- But all this pales in comparison to the new pop sensation, Subtle Sexuality.

- DJ Hero hits game consoles and all Jay-Z can talk about is pizza.