‘Pain & Gain’: The Best Roided Up Crime Comedy You Will See This Weekend
In the beginning of Pain & Gain, we see Mark Wahlberg as Daniel Lugo doing vertical sit-ups. Slathered with Miami sun and a voiceover to tell you what the hell is going on, he is interrupted by carloads of police who are obviously after him. He runs. He gets hit. All in slow motion. And...
10 Things That Would Make ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ Awesome
They delayed the release of G.I. Joe: Retaliation from June 2012 to March 2013 so that they could give it the 3D treatment. There were also rumors that they pushed it back so that they could beef up the Channing Tatum role based on his increasing Magic Mike popularity. I would like to think they...
Here’s Another Movie Review That Compares ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ to ‘Die Hard’
Olympus Has Fallen is pretty ridiculous…but not ridiculous enough for me to love it ironically. The movie starts off at Camp David with President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart), the First Lady (Ashley Judd), and their son Connor (Finley Jacobsen) getting ready to go to some sort of Holiday Gala after the Prez has completed his...
My Rambling, Unstructured Thoughts About ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’
I barely consider myself an expert on the Die Hard franchise. That said, I believe all my opinions and thoughts on the latest installment, A Good Day to Die Hard to be unbiased and the ultimate truth. As I patrolled my Facebook and Twitter timeline for reviews of A Good Day to Die Hard, I...
‘Safe Haven’: A Movie For Hopeless Romantics and Romance Bulimics
Safe Haven is not a movie for my demographic. Therefore, I totally have the right to make fun of it. In addition to that, I will try my best to give a professional review of it — but no promises. Also, there will be spoilers so cover your eyes and wax your upper lip cause...
‘Identity Thief’ Teaches Us To Love Our Counterfeiter
When it comes down to it, Identity Thief is nothing but a platform for Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy to deliver a comedy performance — something that each of them do well. Very well. When you put them together, the funny just spills off the screen with slapstick and vulgar panache. It’s this — not...
The Finer Podcast: The Ultimate ‘Warm Bodies’ Episode!
Warm Bodies is finally in theaters. I have been looking forward to this day since I was born. OK. Not really. I’ve been waiting for it since May 2011. In any case, get ready for an earful as I give you a Finer Podcast two-parter which is essentially the ULTIMATE Warm Bodies podcast episode. First,...
‘Mama’: A Scary Movie Where Jessica Chastain Plays a Lilith Fair Bass Guitarist
Mama is to Jessica Chastain as Leprechaun is to Jennifer Aniston. The main difference is that Mama has some sort of integrity to it. Guillermo del Toro is the executive producer of this thriller that has his stamp of horror fantastique all over it. Andrés Muschietti sat in the director’s chair for this film and...
The Finer Podcast: End of the Year Podcast Part 1
The end of 2012 has brought us SO many things in the world of movies and entertainment. So much that I decided to have my first “real” episode of The Finer Podcast where me and three other people discuss the best of the year at length — and when I say “at length” I really...
My Rambling, Unstructured Thoughts About ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’
Near the beginning of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, a voiceover says the following, which is straight from the text of the book: Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with thing in it to sit down on or...
My Rambling, Unstructured Thoughts About ‘Silver Linings Playbook’
I watched Silver Linings Playbook back in September at the Toronto International Film Festival, but since it opens in theateres today, I decided that I should revisit it. Here’s what I initially said in my capsule review of the film: It’s a movie that makes mental illness fun again! Bradley Cooper plays Pat, a dude...
My Rambling, Unstructured Thoughts About ‘Lincoln’
I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to Abraham Lincoln. All I know about him is The Gettysburg Address, the Emancipation Proclamation, the 13th Amendment and he was the original hipster who sported a beard and a top hat. I also know little tidbits of information about him. For instance, there’s the relationship he had with...
