I can always rely on Ke$ha to give me glam-skanky music that reeks of stale beer, dime store body glitter, and rancid club sweat. Her track, “Sleazy Remix 2.0: Get Sleazier” features a roster of hip-hop stars that include Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, T.I., and the dandy Andre 3000. The industrial tribal drums and stomp snares make me feel sleazy. Really, really sleazy…and a little bit yeasty.

Last week, I had an epiphany. And that epiphany was the pop masterpiece of 1999 called “Give it to You” by NKOTB appendage, Jordan Knight.

The song was an earworm throughout last week so I posted it on my Tumblr account. Then, my friend/8Asians.com editor added the brilliant observations:

1. Background dancer with a bucket hat.
2. Jordan from NKOTB is singing in a turtleneck.
3. Jordan from NKOTB is singing in a turtleneck about surprisingly graphic, sexual things, but the video takes place at a carnival where no one is getting graphic or sexual.
4. Jordan from NKOTB’s love interest is smoking a cigarette, and then the uncomfortable quick edit of her stomping out the cigarette, most likely the result of someone who wouldn’t show this on MTV due to the glorification of smoking.
5. Did you know they had Instagram filters in 1999? I sure didn’t.
6. Seriously, did I mention the background dancer with a bucket hat?

With this in mind, I immediately put it on my workout song playlist. Along with that, I added a cream-colored turtleneck and bucket hat to my workout wardrobe.

The overproduced and girl-on-girl anthem of 2003 got a bad rep. It wasn’t that horrible. The dance routine in the video was pretty darn cool. I even took time out of my busy unemployed schedule in 2003 to learn the pop dance.

Without a doubt, it is the best song for a workout. As soon as I hear the introductory synthesized vocals of Britney, the adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. It’s like audio steroids.

Oh wow. This song is really lame. What the hell are they talking about?

Yes, that was MC Lyte (I think).

There’s nothing like running along the Embarcadero whilst listening to a genuine ’90s midriff exposing, gyrating jam – especially if it’s sung by the sultry, breathy whisper of Janet Jackson.

In 2000, I think I was one of dozens and dozens of people who actually purchased Christina Aguilera’s Spanish album, Mi Reflejo. In fact, I think I bought the CD the day it came out.

I was a hardcore Christina fan. I even have her Christmas album – but that’s a whole other post.

When I woke up this morning, “Ven Conmigo (Solamente Tú)” (the Spanish counterpart to X-tina’s “Come on Over”) was echoing in my head. The whole day, I was humming it and remembering those sparkly days of turn-of-the-century pop:

If you really wanna have some fun, you should listen to “Genio Atrapado”!