After a teasing buzz for the trailer for the trailer for Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, the FULL theatrical trailer for the two-part franchise finale of angsty, brooding vampires with Mormon undertones has finally hit the web. Check it out:

There are plenty of talking points in regards to the trailer, but the main one is Bella (Kristen Stewart) getting romantically (yet violently) boned by Edward (Robert Pattinson) and then going preggers with a baby vamp that has an abnormally accelerated gestation. The baby is also destined (spoiler alert) to have a horrendous name (Renesmee) AND she is imprinted by Taylor Lautner‘s bare-chested Jacob (that’s not as exciting and erotic as it sounds).

Plus, there’s a wedding, more werewolf rivalry, Volturi bullying, and what seems to be a honeymoon in Sandals Jamaica.

It’s basically Knocked Up with a vampire twist.

In any matter, nothing has really changed for our favorite coven of vegetarian vampires…hopefully pregnancy will make Bella sound less constipated.

Yesterday, I interviewed Nick Swardson and Allen Covert, the actor/co-writer and co-writer/producer of the Sandler-esque Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star which also flows in the same comedic vein of Grandma’s Boy.

The film looks quite funny (and the interview was just as, if not funnier) but the title character looks creepy. Although he is supposed to be a doofus, yet a sweet midwest boy, his whole look is one step away from creepy white van pedophilia — but that itself is destined for some great humor about a dude who loses his job and then finds out his parents starred in a porn which prompts him to jet off to Hollywood to follow in their footsteps.

So while I procrastinate transcribing the interview (check back for it soon), check out the trailer:

What do you think? Does it look funny?

There is a hearty amount of teacher-centric movies in the geist. Is it a social commentary on education in our country? Or do movies of this kind purposely get released in the summer to remind students what they have to look forward to come September? Either way, they are coming out of the woodwork.

First there’s Bad Teacher (in theaters June 24) starring Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake:

As much as I want to, I cannot NOT LIKE Timberlake. He is so charismatic that no matter WHAT he does, I am entertained (case and point: the season finale of Saturday Night Live). You can’t help but be pulled into his orbit. As for Diaz, her Bad Teacher character seems like it hits really close to home. In other words, she seems like the “I don’t give a fuck” teacher I will never be. On the plus side, I am just as hot as her while washing a car.

Then there’s Larry Crowne (in theaters July 1) which is basically a late-in-life coming-of-age story for people who loved Charlie Wilson’s War:

Julia Roberts is the teacher. Tom Hanks is a student. They fall in love. This is basically promoting romantic relationships between students and teachers. It is also an excuse to throw these two super-celebs together in a movie and see how much box office cash they’ll generate.

Finally, there’s a movie called Detention in the works (Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson is in it — I just thought I’d throw that in there). The name alone gives us the impression that teachers are involved. Here’s the brief synopsis:

Detention follows the local students of Grizzly Lake as they survive their final year of high school. Bringing even more angst to student life, a slasher killer has chosen their high school as his new home of slaughter. It becomes a race against time to stop the killer, which will in turn save the world – if only they can get out of detention.

I really hope that the killer is a teacher. And I hope the teacher prevails.

Attack the Block: With its grimy, Snatch-like twang, this movie got some audience love at SXSW (it snagged the Midnight Audience Award this year). Last night, I got to experience this inner city vs. outer space extravaganza and had the same giddy feeling I did when I watched Gremlins for the first time. I am officially a “blockhead.” Plus, Nick Frost is in it!

Kung Fu Panda 2: Kaboom of Doom: After watching The Hangover Part II I wasn’t ready for another sequel that didn’t live up to my hopes and dreams — but how can you NOT love Po (a role that makes Jack Black easy to ingest)? The Furious Five is back: Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper (Lucy Liu), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Crane (David Cross), and Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) They are joined by a bunch of newbies like Michelle Yeoh as the wise-ass Soothsayer ram and the ONE AND ONLY Jean-Claude Van Damme as Master Croc! The movie has tons o’ kick-ass fun and heartstring pulling that exceeded expectations AND there’s an evil peacock voiced by Gary Oldman! It also helps that the 3D actually has a (somewhat) function in the movie instead of being an gimmick that requires the use of rental glasses that may have been used by a person with head lice. (Kung Fu Panda 2 opens in theaters today.)

So You Think You Can Dance Season 8: Now that the lukewarm season of American Idol is done and Scotty “Baby Lock Dem Doors and Turn Dem Lights Down Low” McCreery is on the road to David Archuleta fame, we can now concentrate on the next season of SYTYCD! I am sure it will get uninteresting after a while and I am sure the return of Mary Murphy and her banshee scream will cause an epidemic of ear hemorrhaging and sterility, but I am WAY excited! (The season premiere is tonight!)

There has been a flood of previews for new TV shows that are slated to hit our DVRs come fall. Four in particular have caught my eye: Smash, The Playboy Club, Grimm and Alcatraz.

All of these previews are coming out faster than I can complain about the most annoying contestant on So You Think You Can Dance — let alone the entire Summer 2011 TV lineup.

That aside, the quartet of aforementioned TV shows all have a reserved space in my sad, yet exciting, nightly schedule later on this year. But the following tweet from the always insightful Michael Ian Black got me thinking:

@michaelianblack Why don’t the networks just call it what it is: a list of all the new shows they’re going to cancel in the next few months?

As usual, M.I.B. gave me some food for thought. I may be concerned with which TV show will maintain my attention, but perhaps I should be concerned with which one will get the ax first? Let’s take a look:

Smash: Basing on a snap judgment, this show is feeding off the success of Glee but in actuality, it’s less cartoony, more tolerable and has a totally different vibe. It’s less about dealing with teenage angst with gratuitous song and more about the making of a fictitious Broadway musical based on Marilyn Monroe with a heavy dose of maturity — not to mention the celeb wattage in front of and behind the camera: Steven Speilberg, Anjelica Huston, Debra Messing, Katharine McPhee and a slathering of I’ve-seen-this-person-in-something-another-movie/TV show-before actors. Chances of cancellation: Low.

Alcatraz: Another project attached to my hero J.J. Abrams and my city of San Francisco. The show puts the famous prison under a microscope along with a Lost-esque mythology (it also stars Hurly a.k.a. Jorge Garcia). To be more specific, it’s about a S.F. detective (Sarah Jones,) that is investigating the disappearance and reappearance of an ageless old school Alcatraz inmate (Jeffrey Pierce) — sounds very Dharma-ish, no? Nonetheless, J.J.’s latest TV projects haven’t been doing that great unless he is directly involved (remember Undercovers?). And shows based in San Francisco haven’t been doing that great since Full House (remember Trauma?) And the Lost parallels may be a little too much — but I do have high hopes for this only because I have hopes in being an extra. Chances of cancellation: Fair.

The Playboy Club: Think of it as Mad Men in bunny outfits. Well, it makes sense considering director Alan Taylor helmed a couple of episodes — and is it me or could Nick Dalton (Eddie Cibrian) be the lil’ bro of Don Draper? In any matter, the show has potential because of the “hip” time period, the element of murder mystery, the sexualizing of feminism and the not-yet-famous roster of actors. Then again, is the public available for another show set in the ’60s? Is it time to revisit another decade? The novelty of a fluffy tail can only get you so far — but it is based on a the real Playboy Club. And there are appearances from fake Vegas-like impersonators. Chances of cancellation: Considerable.

Actually, it looks really good — but I also said the same thing about Eagle Eye (which also starred Michelle Monaghan). Other than that, the high caliber acting roster of Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga, and Jeffrey Wright give it automatic prestige.

One more thing; the movie comes out on April 1, 2011. Or is this just a really cruel April Fool’s joke?

I immediately went home and watched the trailer:

Now doesn’t that just look FANtastic? Especially that juvenile sketch of the freakish experiment of humans connected mouth-to-butt? It brings a whole new meaning to “running a train.”

Count me in!

If you are in the mood for a documentary this weekend, perhaps you should ingest the film Exit Through the Gift Shop.

The film by the British graffiti/street art genius, Banksy has already gotten major props and – well – it’s just a really provoking look at the world of street art – just stay tuned for my review on Friday.

In the meantime, check out the trailer:

On the first evening of WonderCon, I was invited to watch the premiere of the trailer for latest 3-D eyegasm known as Resident Evil: Afterlife at the Metreon. The theater was full of viciously obnoxious fanboys (and fangirls) who threw popcorn and dropped geeky factoids about the Umbrella organization.

It was scary in there.

Even so, I, like them, were eagerly awaiting the arrival of actresses Ali Larter and Milla Jovovich as well as her husband/director of the franchise, Paul W.S. Anderson.

When they arrived, I snapped pictures and this is what I got:

After they talked a bit, they screened the trailer. I failed to get a pair 3-D glasses beforehand so I sat there like a fool and watched the blurry screen without any third dimension.

I felt so moded.

Lucky for you, you can enjoy the trailer in 2-D!

I’ve been waiting for the Kick-Ass since January and I think it is kismet that it is released two days before my birthday. What a bloody good b-day gift – literally and figuratively.

I recently finished the graphic novel by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. that the movie is based on – and that is some of the most gruesome shit that I have ever seen in a graphic novel. They don’t call it a GRAPHIC novel for nothing. There is more blood in it than a second day flow.

For all of you who plan on watching this movie (out in theaters April 16), I highly suggest you read the graphic novel first.

With visible bone breakage, 10-year-old girls yelling expletives like (c***) and crotch electrocutions, I really wonder how loyal the movie is going to stay to the book.

For a little taste of the nasty, here’s the redband trailer again: