I did it. I survived The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. It was everything I was expecting and more. I was expecting melodrama and received that times 10.

Essentially, the movie is everything the trailer delivers and is in line with the previous teen romance-infused three movies. Edward (Robert Pattinson and Bella (Kristen Stewart) get married, they fornicate and then she gets pregnant with a halvsy baby (the birthing scene is gory fun). As for Jacob (Taylor Lautner), he gets jealous and takes off his shirt — but only once.

Then there’s this really odd “mental” conversation between the CGI’d wolves. Fans of the books will understand, but the execution of the scene was damn funny (keep in mind, it wasn’t supposed to be).

That’s pretty much it. The movie radiates with the hormonal love triangle of Edward/Bella/Jacob, the wedding, the overhyped sex scene, the gory birth, and is a 117-minute set-up to the grand finale. I am sure it will be just as soap operatic, cheesy, and full of moments for me to inappropriately laugh — which basically means Twi-hards will sink their teeth into it and suck up every last drop of vampiric angst.

Acclaimed director Bill Condon has managed to keep the tone of the entire franchise with part one of the finale — but perhaps the movie needed something else. The movie needed an injection of Condon’s Dreamgirls. The music fit in VERY well with the Twilight and would have provided for a monumental Dreamgirls/Twilight crossover event.

Here is an idea of how the music would have fit into the story and what characters would sing the songs:

“Dreamgirls” (Bella, Alice, and Rosalie): The trio would sing this while getting ready for the big wedding to make Bella feel pretty. Even though the song would be used for Bella’s big day, Alice (Ashley Greene) and Rosalie (Nikki Reed) would switch off for the lead because they are encouraging Bella to feel dreamy.

“One Night Only” (Full company): This is a high-production number and it is more than suitable for the wedding reception scene. Edward would start it off and then lyrics can be dealt evenly to the Cullen family and secondary characters (Bella’s high school friends). I envision a HUGE dance sequence led by Jasper (Jackson Rathbone).

“It’s All Over” (The Cullens, Bella, and Jacob): This where the first moment of crisis happens: Jacob shows up to the wedding and talks to Bella. When Bella tells Jacob that she and Edward are going to boink on their honeymoon, he goes ballistic. Jacob would, of course, be taking Effie’s part while The Cullens and Bella intervene and argue with him.

“And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” (Jacob): This is Jacob’s moment to shine. This is where he makes sure that Bella knows that he is here to stay.

“Love You I Do” (Bella and Edward): To add some levity to the previous musical numbers, this jaunty tune would be turned into a duet as Bella and Edward galavant around Brazil on their honeymoon. As opposed to the Dreamgirls version, this one will have a slower, instrumental variation that will play during the headboard-breaking fornication scene.

“Move” (Leah): Now is the time to put some focus on the werewolves. Since Leah (Julia Jones) is the only female in the group, she deserves a moment to take the spotlight and express herself in regards to being dumped by Sam (the son of a bitch imprinted on someone else!). The lyrics are perfect for her to sing as she leaves his pack to join Jacob’s.

“Family” (The Cullens): A heart-warming song to be sung when the family finds out that Bella has gone preggers.

“Steppin’ to the Bad Side” (The Wolfpack): After finding out about the news about Bella’s pregnancy, they are out to get that baby! Led by Sam (Chaske Spencer) the Wolfpack performs a rousing rendition (with an intense dance sequence) of this song as they prep to invade the Cullens’ home. This is the Wolfpack’s moment to howl!

“I Am Changing” (Bella): Bella will take this finale number on her own. It is her diva moment. Because of the bloody birthing scene and what is ABOUT to happen to her (fans will no where I am going with that), the lyrics are appropriate in more ways than one. The power ballad is a bit soft, but it be a cliffhanger. It will leave room for what is to come in part two!

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 opens in theaters today. click here to read complete Twilight coverage.

I didn’t get to interview Robert Pattinson for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 like I did when the very first Twilight movie came out, but thanks to quick clips provided by Summit Pictures, we get to hear his soft-spoken thoughts about Bella’s pregnancy, his relationship with Jacob and the “momentous” wedding:

After a teasing buzz for the trailer for the trailer for Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, the FULL theatrical trailer for the two-part franchise finale of angsty, brooding vampires with Mormon undertones has finally hit the web. Check it out:

There are plenty of talking points in regards to the trailer, but the main one is Bella (Kristen Stewart) getting romantically (yet violently) boned by Edward (Robert Pattinson) and then going preggers with a baby vamp that has an abnormally accelerated gestation. The baby is also destined (spoiler alert) to have a horrendous name (Renesmee) AND she is imprinted by Taylor Lautner‘s bare-chested Jacob (that’s not as exciting and erotic as it sounds).

Plus, there’s a wedding, more werewolf rivalry, Volturi bullying, and what seems to be a honeymoon in Sandals Jamaica.

It’s basically Knocked Up with a vampire twist.

In any matter, nothing has really changed for our favorite coven of vegetarian vampires…hopefully pregnancy will make Bella sound less constipated.

I love how they are making the movie look like a Harlequin Romance Novel/tobacco/dated cologne/”Come visit Forks” ad.

[Source: Yahoo Movies]

If you are into Harlequin romance novels, soap operas, and classic vomit-worthy love stories, then Water For Elephants (in theaters today). As you can tell from my use of vomit-worthy, this movie was not for me. I probably wouldn’t force anyone else to watch it. Also, in one of the TV spots for the movie, a blurb from a critique flashes on the screen saying that this is “the best movie of the year.” Really? Does that mean that Red Riding Hood was in a close second?

Nonetheless, the movie based on the best-selling novel was adored by many. My guess is that the “many” is referring to many housewives in the midwest and the south.

The movie has a great cast. Robert Pattinson continues to climb the “Look! I can really act!” ladder as he plays Jacob (isn’t that Twi-ronic), an Ivy League veteranarian school dropout who loses his mommy and daddy and is forced to become a transient. He ends up hopping a train that happens to be a circus train. They let him stay on just as long as he earns his keep by shoveling animal poop. Eventually, the ringleader August (Christoph Waltz), a mean and miserly douche of a man hires him on as the circus vet. All the while, Jacob falls for August’s wife, Marlena (Reese Witherspoon) — a big no-no. Things start happen. Forbidden love ensues. And elephants get water.

All three do what they can with the characters, Pattinson strips another Twilight layer off his acting chops; Waltz basically puts Col. Hans Landa from Inglorious Basterds in a top hat and abuses animals instead of Jewish people; and Witherspoon is in the most thankless role of all. She’s merely there to be a pretty face — and she certainly does fulfill that role with finger waved hair and atypical too-glam-for-the-circus diva garb…but that’s about it.

Even though this is a predictable vehicle and is a geyser of romantic mush, it isn’t that painful. More circus activity should have been included. That said, here are some things (circus-related and otherwise) that should have been included:

1.) Cotton candy machine: More inclusion of circus delicacies in each and every scene could have provided a better, fun-loving ambience. Reese eating a corn dog; R Pattz snacking on cotton candy; Waltz popping some circus peanuts — that would have really transported me to a circus environment.

2.) Britney Spears’s “Circus” as the soundtrack: HELLO?! Her whole album was dedicated to the circus. This is a given.

3.) Vampires: Pattinson might as well include a clause in his contract that requires in every movie he must bare fangs in at least one scene. His role as Edward Cullen will forever be with him. He might as well embrace it.

4.) No Reese Witherspoon: Anyone could have played this role. Her talented was a tad bit wasted — and seeing her enchant various animals was awkward and hot at the same time. Does that mean I bestiality tendencies?

5.) Gay for Jacob: Let’s face it. The character of August was madly in love with the character of Jacob. He was jealous that his wife was getting all the attention. Changing this to a gay love story would have made it better — and possibly Oscar-worthy.

Color, the “it” app of the moment, combines location-based social networking and photo sharing and clumps it all together in a group album. In simple terms, it’s a mobile app that allows you to instantly share photos of a certain event with other people at the same event.

A little stalker-ish, but it is kind of fun!

The people at Color were pretty darn savvy to attach themselves with Fox and Sunday’s Water For Elephants premiere. By using Color, the screaming fans at the red carpet event in New York were able to use Color and share real-time red carpet photos with people around the world.

You can see all the candid red carpet photos at color.com/waterforelephants.

For the record, I was using Color long before this event. Therefore, I am cool and ahead of the curve. In turn, my existence is validated — simply because Reese and R Pattz are attached to it.

For more info on Color, visit Color.com.Water For Elephants opens in theaters Friday, April 22.

Photo credit: Peter Kramer/AP Photo

Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson make circuses and elephants sexy again.

I already did my review on Eclipse and listed The 10 Best Things about Eclipse — but I left one very important thing off that list: Edward Cullen’s sideburns:

They are very similar to the Golden Age of cool guy sideburns which peaked in the ’90s with the ambassador of ‘burns: Brandon Walsh of 90210 fame…

Brandon Walsh. Edward Cullen. They are practically brothers. And the sideburns are just so rad.

Thank God I was lucky enough to see it beforehand (yes, I am gloating). I thank God even more that I didn’t have to go through the Twi-hard fueled opening night of tweens who actually think these characters are real – but that’s part of the appeal about this Twilight pandemonium, right? It’s all about the fans. The franchise is 75 percent fandom, 25 percent substance.

I try to claim that I have to watch these movies because it is my civic duty as a pop culture journalist. But I didn’t have to read all four books. I didn’t have to get the special edition DVDs as soon as they came out. I didn’t have to interview Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz when they were in San Francisco. I didn’t have to have an exclusive one-on-one interview with Robert Pattinson when he came to the city to promote the first movie. I didn’t have to watch New Moon whilst writing this blog post.

Yes, I am a fan. I refuse to be called a Twi-hard. That just sounds dirty – just like the term “imprinting.”

Nonetheless, Eclipse picks up where New Moon left off (obviously). The evil crimson-haired Victoria (now played by a girl that looks like Ron Howard’s daughter) is still hunting for Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) blood. But this time, she brought some friends. She created a new vampire named Riley (Xavier Samuel) and he is instructed to create an army of newborn vampires (the most dangerous kind) in order to search for our awkward heroine and destroy her. This prompts the wolves and vampires of Forks to band together and protect the oh-so-important Bella. All the while, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) copes with his shirt deficiency and Edward (Robert Pattinson) tries 101 different ways to give us brooding looks. And both are constantly comparing the girth of their love for Bella.

The book was probably the best in the series – and the movie is just as good. Why was it so good? I am glad you asked:

1.) New director, more extreme close-ups: New director David Slade (Hard Candy, 30 Days of Night) totally “lifted” this movie and gave it a cooler point-of-view. He kept with the tone of the movie, but made it – how should I put it – more entertaining. The ratio of cheesy romance scenes to vampire-shattering action scenes was much appreciated. And the numerous close-ups were very intrusive and oddly enjoyable.

2.) Vampires with more interesting storylines: We finally get to see why Rosalie (Nikki Reed) is such a scathing bitch towards Bella. Her backstory is probably the most emotional and speaks volumes for her character – and it actually gives her character. We also get to see what makes Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) tick as well. It’s so nice to not make it all about Edward and Bella.

3.) Learning the dangers of codependency: Bella and Edward probably have the most codependent relationship in cinematic history. This could be a problem further down the road – especially if they are going to be together forever. It’s a good instructional on how NOT to be when in a relationship.

4.) New characters, new accents: We get introduced to new wolves (Seth! Leah!) and of course the new baddie Riley. But more importantly, the Cullen patriarch, Carlisle (Peter Facinelli a.k.a. Mike Dexter) suddenly develops some sort of a British accent. And Jasper develops a very Dixieland deep-fried Southern accent that gets heavier and heavier throughout the movie. I developed a Scottish accent while watching the movie.

5.) The much anticipated tent scene: Fans will know this pivotal scene from the book that included Jacob, Edward and Bella. And if the story went a different route, it could’ve totally been a Brokeback Mountain moment for our main characters.

6.) Jessica’s valedictorian speech: Bella’s self-absorbed human gal pal Jessica (Anna Kendrick) gave one of the best valedictorian speeches I’ve ever heard!

7.) The cheese grater engagement ring: Spoiler alert: Edward proposes to Bella. Actually, it’s not really a spoiler since it is shown in one of the trailers. And in the last movie, he says he wants to marry her – but whatever. When he busts out the ridiculously large ring, my friend sitting next to me asked, “Why is he giving her a mini cheese grater?”

8.) Taylor Lautner covers up: Spoiler alert: there are moments when Jacob is wearing a shirt. Three scenes, I think.

9.) More Volturi!!!: I like seeing Dakota Fanning as Jane, one of the evil royal vampires. I like it when she tortures people with her torturous power. I just like the entire Volturi clan because they wear cloaks and are fancy.

10.) The most entertaining character in the entire Twilight franchise: Charlie (Billy Burke), Bella’s dad. He’s cool.

…and here’s one more reason to grow on:

11.) Tolerating Bella: Bella is probably my least favorite character — maybe it’s because I can’t understand why everyone feels the need to protect her as if she is hoarding the last donut on the face of the Earth, but in this movie, she was semi-tolerable! There were no nightmare-induced constipated screams, delusional romantic overtures recited through clenched teeth or flaccid stares! Bravo!

Love is love. Vote no on Prop 8.