I think the picture above and the title of the post says it all – and check out the nifty slideshow:

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

But I do admit, the inner plastic-faced Joan Rivers in me enjoys it.

Sure, Kellan Lutz knew how to work the crowd, but it was Ashley Greene who had a lockdown on the style. Sorting some dangerously chic Jimmy Choo over-the-knee black boots lined with “don’t fuck-with-me” grommets and an equally intense Gryphon jacket stamped with hardware decolletage.

Look at those Choos

Here’s Greene sportin’ the Gryphon coat:

And here’s the coat in question:

She definitely knows how to work that feminine tough girl look. It’s very good-girl-gone-bad. And I do have to ask this one burning question: Alice in the Twilight movies has short hair and they just wrapped Eclipse. This makes me believe one of two things: 1.) Her hair grows at a freakishly accelerated pace or 2.) She is wearing a weave, wig or some sort of hair piece.

I am going to go with the latter.

Nonetheless, she was absolutely stunning in person. Her beauty made me feel ugly. Like I said before, I just wanted to stare at her face the entire evening.

Creepy, I know.

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

Stage 1: Any mention of Twilight in conversation makes their eyes widen and they get giddy. They smile fanatically showing all their teeth – including their molars. There is no squealing yet, but you do feel this dormant, muffled sound about to come out.

I’m surprised these girls from the Twilight premiere didn’t reach Stage 5 after making physical contact with Robert Pattinson

Stage 2: Any sensory representation of the franchise brings out a shriek: a poster, T shirt, soundtrack, movie TV spot, book – any form of media will provoke Twi-hard fans like a dormant volcano. The shrieks come out in short bursts.

Stage 3: The actual physical presence of someone from or having to do with the Twilight franchise causes the eruption of squeals and possibly uncontrollable jumping. The jumping helps them contain the potential of reaching the next stage…

Stage 4: Nine times out of 10, jumping does not contain the squealing – especially if physical contact occurs. This is when it hits the fan. Twi-hards will lose all control of their senses and possible “joyful crying” might ensue. Screaming is off the charts and they become rabid. It is at this stage when one should stay at least 10 feet away from Twi-hards.

Stage 5: Spontaneous combustion. This has not happened yet. And I stress yet.

Also, based on Kellan Lutz’s actions on Monday, certain actions can make you jump from Stage 1 to Stage 4 in one fell swoop. For instance, saying the word “butt” or simply talking about nudity can make you inch closer to Stage 5. For a more in-depth look, watch the video:

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

The leather cuffs, novelty tees and Emo charm of the Goth-lite retail chain, Hot Topic made way for the edgy sepia-toned warmth of New Moon stars Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz before the frenzied Q&A in the Stonestown Galleria parking lot on Monday night (yes, I am doing my posts a little out of order).

People lined up like it was a line for an end of the world all-you-can eat New Moon buffet, with Greene and Lutz acting as the appetizer, entree and dessert. Hundreds upon hundreds of fans lined up for the autograph signing as they greeted fans and signed posters of themselves. (more pictures after the jump)

I can’t even imagine the feeling of someone coming up to you with a big ol’ picture of you as a vampire on a T shirt asking you to sign their poster. It’s flattering, but creepy – and it could really mess with your mind. I honestly think that some of these people actually thought that Greene and Lutz were Alice and Emmett Cullen. It’s kind of like Misery but with a tween twist.

In any matter, fans who stood in line definitely reached Stage 4 on the Twilight squealing scale.

Lutz, being the charismatic guy he is, was full of energy and he treated the fans with the utmost respect and graciousness. Greene was just as friendly and was even nice enough to talk to one of the fan’s friends via cell phone because they couldn’t make the event. I, on the other hand, just wanted to stare at her mesmerizing face the entire evening.

The Twi-hards entered the store with a look of fanatical anticipation and left either with starstruck-induced daze on their face or they were screaming and jumping up and down like they needed to pee in their pants.

This one picture of the security guard describes the Hot Topic/New Moon event in a nutshell:

The guard’s body language basically says, “Calm down and please do not rupture a spleen. There’s enough Kellan and Ashley to go around.”

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

Kellan certainly likes to play to the crowd. He plays to the crowd a lot. He’s a bit of a ham – but there is certainly nothing wrong with that. I do it all the time. I like to be the center of attention. Kellan and I are like two peas in a pod. In fact, I can definitely pass as a Filipino version of him.

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

Tonight, stars of New Moon, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz were welcomed by throes of “Twi-hard” fans at Stonestown Galleria in San Francisco.

First they stopped by Nordstrom and then they went on to the Goth headquarters of all that is Twilight, Hot Topic and they ended the evening with an outdoor Q&A as fans draped in New Moon paraphernalia reached decibels beyond recognition.

In this first clip (filmed by yours truly), Lutz and Greene answer some very interesting questions about shaving heads at a slumber party, driving Porsches and vampire odors. (Side note: the first question was cut off. A fan asked if they could be any other character in Twilight who would they be?)

Take a look at my oh-so-professional video coverage:

It was definitely a randy (and by randy, I mean horny) crowd; hence the demand of Kellan’s stripping.

Stay tuned for more clips from that magical New Moon evening.

And P.S. – Do you like that orb of light that is constantly in the frame? Well, get used to it. It’s in all the videos.

To follow my obsession with New Moon, click here

Lutz (who portrays the super-strong vampire Emmett) and Greene (who plays the pixie clairvoyant vampire Alice) will be answering all the questions you are dying to get answered.

Be sure to dress warm (the event takes place outdoors) and be prepared for a bunch of Twi-hard fans – which means tons and tons and tons of squealing.